vintage elation

Forgive the woman who killed my father.

2012-01-10T21:12:00.000-06:00

Yes, you read the title right and that is what I want to talk about today. This has been a topic and thought that has weighing quite heavily on my mind as of late and I need to do something about it. Well, the title may be a little misleading - I have already forgiven the woman. In my heart of hearts I have truly forgave her. I could sit down with her and share a meal. It is how I feel. There is more to ponder here however and that is why I am here. But first, a little background...

2 1/2 years ago my father was killed. He was on a motorcycle when he died, but his bike was not the cause. A 28 year old woman was. I am not going to post her name here as I am not trying to bring her harm in any way. I only wish to tell my story and seek some guidance. If not from you, often times I feel a knowing sense of what to do after writing out my tales. My dad was on his way to the mall when his side was struck by a rolling vehicle. His bike exploded which caused him to fly over the guardrail of the overpass he was on. 60 feet over, 30 feet down. It was 45 minutes before anyone could reach him. It didn't matter though. He was already gone. What happened? What went wrong? Well, that is somewhat of a mystery. Here is what I do know as a fact. It is a fact that this accident was caught on tape in it's entirety. It is a fact that my father's death was played over and over on national news. It is a fact my dad's girlfriend was riding in her car behind him at the time of the accident and had to witness the entire thing. It is a fact that one woman is responsible for his premature death and a lot of pain. The following is not fact. It is true from court testimony, but I will not claim it to be fact. This woman was fighting with her husband all day. The fight continued on into the afternoon and in the car while driving. The husband did something (this is where it gets murky. Many different versions were relayed by both husband and wife). It was said that he reached for the wheel, it was said that he grabbed at her, it was said that he merely reached for the radio. Whatever the action was, this woman yanked the wheel. Upon doing so she hit a SUV. This scared her and she over compensated by turning the wheel in the opposite direction. The car began to roll. I have already told you the rest.

My father was 54 when he died. It is funny because I always underestimate the age of my mother now. They were divorced for many years before his death, but still I remembered their ages in relation to each other. My dad was 3 years older. My mom is getting older, but I always mistake that she is 51. He never gets any older. He was too young to go. I miss him. My daughter misses him. My son doesn't really remember him. That makes me sad.

The woman who hit him was charged with homicide. A hefty charge, but apparently the state of Wisconsin does not have manslaughter. The case dragged on and on for a long time. The trial was finally held last May. She was let off. There are a lot of details that I could go into here, but I do not see the point at the moment. There was a lot of anger. A lot of hurt.

There came a moment where I had to stop being angry. It was doing me no good. This woman could not feel my pain and hate. The only person it was effecting was me. I had to let it go. I had to move on and forgive. And so I did. It was a slow process. I worked on it and then one day I woke up and realized that I do not hate her. I realized that I want good things for her and her children. I wish her peace. This is where I stumbled on to my current problem.

There are many mistakes in my past in which I am still working on forgiving myself for. I am not the perfect mother, perfect wife, perfect friend. I have done things that haunt me at times. I have never killed anyone. How does doing something like that effect your day to day life? How do you go to work each day? How do you pursue your dreams? Is there any sleep with that fogging your mind? I am glad that I do not know.

I have thought, on more than one occasion about the possibility of sending this woman a letter. This woman saw my family and I in court. She saw our pain first hand. If there is any good in her being, she must have felt something. I would assume that she believes us to hate her. She would have been right at the time. She may still be right in regards to other members of my family. She is no longer right about me. If I were to tell her that, would it improve her life? Would my forgiveness lessen her burden? I don't know. Am I contemplating this option for altruistic reasons? I think so, but again, I am unsure.

I need help in deciding what to do. A client of mine told me about a woman in my area who claims to be a 'real deal' medium. I am trying to get a reading done with her to find out what my dad might think about this entire thing - seeing he is the one person who would have an answer and the only I am unable to ask. I have had some intense experiences with him visiting my dreams and I am probably more open to the possibility of finding what I seek through this kind of help. The medium has proven to be quite difficult to get in touch with however. Maybe, since I am asking, the answer may come from one of you. Any idea?

Stats:
Daily Points - 21*
Extra - 3
Bonus - 3

Days left to go: 354

*Today I volunteered in my son's classroom for a couple of hours. I also attended a beauty pageant orientation for my daughter but that's a whole other post. I cannot think too much about it as it makes me want to die.

busy, busy.

2012-01-09T20:49:00.000-06:00

Sorry for this shortie post in advance... Too much to do this week to properly sit down and write about all the awesomeness. I am still on top of my good deeds however. I have managed to do at least one thing every day and most days I do many. A lot are too small to even mention on this blog, but they still get done. Here is a quick list of the few things I have done since my last post:

Saturday - Did a fellow stylist's hair without expecting anything in return. Stayed a few hours later than I needed to so I could do it for her.

Sunday - Bought 20 or so new books for the kid's school library. We are taking them in tomorrow. The kids are stoked. We also got a gift certificate for my son's teacher to buy some books for their classroom.
*Bonus - Marnie made 2 pairs of earrings for a couple of her classmates. She wrapped them and anonymously left them in their lockers for them to discover. She reported that it was really fun for her and she wants to do more.

Today - Gave a man holding a sign outside a shopping center $20. The sign said his daughter was admitted to the hospital with a heart condition. He looked very sad and was shaking from the cold. My husband is trying to fight the belief that all of these people who stand out and ask for money are full of it. Maybe. We lived in Chicago years ago and it made him jaded in this area. You would see someone beg for money and then round the corner and climb into a Cadillac. It was disheartening. I have come to an understanding however that it simply doesn't matter. Does it make the gift any less important? The giving is always the same no matter who is on the receiving end. My heart remains the same.

I hope to find some time to sit and write to you in further depth later on this week. I have a few things that have been on my mind and in my heart and I want to begin to share them. Maybe get some opinions...

Stats:
Daily Points - 20
Extra - 3
Bonus - 3

Days left to go: 355

calm

2012-01-06T14:51:00.002-06:00

I feel a sense of calm that I have never felt before. Perhaps calm is an improper word. Peace is better. I cannot properly explain it. It is not a relaxed feeling - for I am fully alert with heightened senses. I just have this inner knowing that everything is going to be okay. Better than okay. It is strange to me that I feel this way since my day began in a hospital.

Well, not began, but I was there soon enough. This morning my mom had her hip replaced. She is 54.

I had been planning to head to the hospital at some point today all week long. The thought of my mom needing to be there for any reason put a pit in my stomach. I had been pushing it from my mind, but all of a sudden, *poof* it was here. She found out yesterday that the operation would begin at 9:30. I put the kids on the bus at 8:30 and the hospital is a good distance away, so I told my beautiful mother that I would see her as soon as she woke up.

This morning, as I do every morning, I woke up at 6 and had coffee with my husband. We shared a meeting of the minds and enjoyed our french pressed brew. At seven I began the kid's breakfast of fried potatoes and eggs sunny side up. I woke my babies @ 7:30 and began to curl my hair and apply makeup. I got dressed and made lunches. Upon further review, I decided to drive the kids into school instead of riding the bus - today was the day they were planning on delivering the books to the kids in class. Off we went. I walked them inside. I had nice leisurely chats with both of my children's teachers. I loved on my kids. I began my journey across town. I talked to myself. I prayed for good health. I thought positive thoughts. I stopped at the local grocery store. Today my mom deserves kindness. I walked the isles with her in mind and chose her gifts wisely, deliberately. I chose the biggest bouquet I could find. I finished the last leg of my journey. I parked in the furthest spot from the hospital. It is a relatively warm day for January and I could use the exercise. I smiled at every person who passed me. I said good morning. I found the surgical waiting room, a table with chairs and sat down. A friendly lady waved me over. I gave her my info and she then gave me a gift... she rushed me back to see my mom. She was still waiting in pre-op and I was on a list. This was unexpected. I did not even know this was an option. I kissed my mom. I looked her in the eyes and told her I loved her. It was a blessing and I am grateful for that moment.

After she was taken in, my step-father and I spent a good three hours together in the waiting room. I can not remember a time in which we have ever spent that much time together one on one. It was good. I am happy we were there for each other and able to occupy the time. I thought good thoughts. I believed the surgery would go well. I knew she would be fine. And she was.

She is resting now. Soon she will be standing on her new hip. I am told she will feel tall. I hope she will feel strong. Soon she will walk and I cannot wait to see her dance. She used to love to dance (however dorkily) before all the pain came. I wish her no pain. Today is for her. I am thankful for her.

As for the gives I participated in earlier this week, I did another loan to Kiva on both Tuesday and Wednesday. I just love the idea of that organization. I wish it had a bigger presence in the States. The banks may not believe in our people, but I do. And bet there are others who do too. The third loan we made was to an American. There were only a total of four to choose from. I hope that section grows with time.

Yesterday I contemplated my body. In less than a year I have lost about 65 - 70 pounds without much effort. I can someday go into this more specifically if there is any interest, but for now that statement can stand alone. From the start I had the notion to rid myself of clothing that was far too big for my shrinking frame. I would donate a piece here or there but still hold on to anything remotely okay looking. Who wants to buy new clothes all of the time when you know that you are not even going to be able to fit in them in a couple of months? However, during my body contemplation I had a realization. If I had even one item of clothing that was made for someone bigger than I, I was allowing the possibility that I may someday be that size again. If the clothing does not exist, failure is no longer an option. Only success and the tinier clothes that hang in my closet. This was a new thought and I quickly rummaged through my stash. While I was at it, I may as well give away any shoes that I am entirely not in love with or that do not fit or feel right. I am done with the idea that a sale makes a good outfit. I will no longer pay attention to such things. I want to wear what I love and feel loved by what I wear. Period. I found many, many things that were ready for a new home. Items that fit me yesterday but not today? Gone. It is the new rule in my life. No more waiting. If it is too big one day, it will be too big everyday in my future. I hauled my goods into the salon and let my girls take their pick. Every item found a new home and for that I am pleased. Now I may new a few new items of clothing...

Stats:
Daily Points - 17
Extra - 3
Bonus - 2

Days left to go: 358

Kiva

2012-01-04T14:26:00.001-06:00

This is an update on your loan to Chhneang in Cambodia.
Thanks to you and 2 other Kiva Lenders, the $200.00 loan request in Cambodia has been 100% funded.
This loan will be used for the purpose of: to buy rice for her daily food for the entire year
Over the 14 months of this loan, Kiva's Field Partner in Cambodia, Hattha Kaksekar Limited (HKL), a partner of Save the Children, will be collecting repayments from this entrepreneur and posting progress updates on the Kiva website.
Thanks for lending to the world's working poor on Kiva!
Best Wishes,
Kiva Staff

progress.

2012-01-03T21:48:00.003-06:00

There is much going on in the Curet household and I am trying to keep it all straight and fit it all in. Christmas vacation ends tomorrow morning for the kids and I hope, hope, hope I will find myself with much more time on my hands. The snow is finally falling and my hermit instincts are kicking in, so I believe this may be so. I do not like to travel in the winter. I burrow like a bunny and only leave the comfort of my surroundings when we are close to starvation. This is a good thing this year as I have a great abundance of new projects in the works that I plan on nurturing and hope to see them grow.

This blog is one of those projects. I have, many times in the past, attempted to keep a blog and miserably failed. Too much pressure I suppose. There are many things from my not so distant past that kept me from reaching my potential. I often times would sabotage myself and hurt my chances in the process. I know this and it saddens me for that girl. The girl I used to be. That girl would never do anything for herself let alone a perfect stranger. That girl was to busy being self absorbed with self hate and external loathing of others to contemplate the good for more than a moment. That girl has vanished. But where did she go? I am happy of her disappearance, but I do wonder where she wandered off to? My desire is strong to continue posting to this site. It feels important. I am beyond tired at the moment after a very long working day, but here I am. There is motivation beyond me. I am grateful.

As for this girl, I did in fact do a good deed yesterday. T-roy and I signed up to help a dude out in Peru with a loan and this morning I got this lovely email:

This is an update on your loan to Eugenio in Peru.
Thanks to you and 3 other Kiva Lenders, the $375.00 loan request in Peru has been 100% funded.
This loan will be used for the purpose of: to purchase plantain offshoots and coffee plants.
Over the 8 months of this loan, Kiva's Field Partner in Peru, Microfinanzas Prisma, will be collecting repayments from this entrepreneur and posting progress updates on the Kiva website.
Thanks for lending to the world's working poor on Kiva!
Best Wishes,
Kiva Staff

Doesn't he look so nice? I am happy we were able to help him out a bit. It was so fun that we are going to do a few more loans with Kiva. You should check them out too. You can help secure a loan for a person wishing to expand their business in a third world country for as little as $25. You then get monthly updates on their progress and see if they repay it etcetera. If they do, you can then reinvest it into another person, donate it to Kiva or cash it out. It is pretty neat if you are able to pay off the end of the loan or one in it's entirety. I will post another smiling face tomorrow.

I have a little extra to report today as well. It was unintentional, but as I want to track my progress as a human being, I feel it is worth noting. In addition to doing hair, I am an artist. 5 days a week I work from home producing what I love. I left my full time employment to pursue my passion and it is paying off. I am quickly becoming successful and I feel blessed. One of the ways I make income and showcase my art is by running an Etsy shop. I love my little shop and am proud of what I produce. There are not many other artists out there that do what I do. I love that. Until recently, I wanted that protected. People would ask me about my process and technique - I would become suspicious and selfishly hoard my knowledge. I want to be special. I want to be unique. I would not share and I am sure my vagueness was off putting. Once again, I cannot put my finger on the exact day or the exact time, but somewhere deep inside me a switch was flipped. My need to share was strong. I quiet the voice who speaks against the light. I answer questions asked by friends, I tentatively agree to teach my skills at some future date to a few who ask. Today a message was sent to me by a stranger. A stranger whom upon a little investigating is another quilling Etsy seller. A beginner to be sure but competition nonetheless. Plain out she asks me how I do what I do. Specifics as to how it is done. That girl I spoke of before would not have answered. Maybe perhaps would have sent back a snarky retort. Why would I help someone who could potentially lure customers away from me in the future? An inner voice speaks to me.... Because. There is more than enough to go around. Share what you love. Make room for more to come your way. This voice is lovely and warms my limbs. She is easy to listen to and becoming easier every day to hear. So I did. I wrote of my details. More than she asked. I gave links and offers of future help if needed. I felt like a grown up. I felt a little whole.

Stats:
Daily Points - 14
Extra - 3
Bonus - 2
Days left to go: 361

Resolutions a plenty.

2012-01-01T08:30:00.002-06:00

Happiest of Happy New Year's to you my friend. I love this time of year because it feels like everyone is thinking. For a few days, people stop going through the motions and pause. New Years resolutions require inner dialect, analyzing your past 365 days and contemplating your hopes for the future. It is beautiful. It is hopeful. I usually do not make a resolution and choose to do my life pondering on or around my birthday, but last year I made an exception. Last year's resolution was simple in statement, but more complex in action. Goal for 2011: To suck less. For me this fit. 2010 was not the greatest of my years and I had many mistakes to make up for. There was no aspect of my life that went untouched and there was no part of my life that I wished to remain untouched by my resolution. 2011 was absolutely a less sucky year all the way around. Many great things happened and I absolutely sucked at least a little less. No, I am going to stand up proud and state loudly that I sucked A Lot less this year. I think I stuck to my promises this year and I am proud of who I am today. So, it is once again a new year. A new promise is to be made and put out into the universe. As I stated before, I do my inner turmoil thing on my birthday which was in November, so a more blanketed approach seems to work well for me on New Year's. This year I want to care more. I want to care more about every aspect of my life. I want to care more for people, I want to care more about people, I want to care more about my jobs and family. I want to care more for my passions. I am sure you get the picture.

It has been a little busy around these parts and I have not had the chance to post my acts for the last three days. Here is a simple listing, but I may need to go into more depth with a couple of these next week. (I am super grateful to have this time to share with my kids while they are out on winter break, buuuutttt... I am also super grateful they will be heading back to school on Wednesday so I can get some things done.)

Thursday: I gave a lovely but misguided woman a much needed haircut. Okay, it was my Mom. Believe it or not however I have never given the poor lady a free haircut before. She looked good and felt better I think. I should do that more often.

Friday: We adopted a soldier! I will expand on this in another post, but we just got her information and gathered up a large box full of goodies and sent them off to Afghanistan. I filled it with candy and crap and some trashy American mags. Later the same day I got an email from her that she is really into health and fitness. Ooops.
*Extra - I took two of my favorite books and left them along with a note in front of our local bookstore for someone else to grab.
*Bonus X 2 - Each of my kids did a give also. We went to the local bookstore where they spent some time searching and seeking out the perfect book for the kid in their classes that they get along least with and have had some issues with. The plan is to wrap it up and include a note telling the child why they thought it would be enjoyed by them and also a few things that my children really like about that person. We are hoping for change in those relationships. They both used their own money to fund their gives.

Saturday: Colored a co-worker's hair. Usually we exchange services, but I never collect. I almost never get anything done at the salon which is kind of stupid since it is one of the perks, but I just cannot stand to sit there.

Tonight's I will tell you in advance since I will probably not have a chance to get back on here today. It's lobster. Each New Year's Day we have a tradition of buying live lobsters for each of our four family members and cooking them up for a festive dinner. This year we invited my brother and his wife over to join us. We have never done that before. I placed an order for one extra lobster (my sister-in-law won't eat one so we will have to cook her a ribeye instead). Troy and I have been stingy in the past in regards to sharing our family time. We really enjoy it when it is just us four. It is time to be giving of ourselves as well as our money though. We shall see how this goes.

Stats:
Daily Points - 12
Extra - 2
Bonus - 2

swollen heart.

2011-12-28T18:05:00.000-06:00

My vision is changing. My eyesight is the same but how I see is different. I look at you and I see something that I didn't notice before. I in turn feel something I have never felt before. I do not know how to describe it well but it fills me with warmth and sheer joy. I cannot help but smile. I smile at you, I smile at strangers. It is new and I think I am enjoying it.

I did an act for my friend today. She is one of my dearest friends from waaay on back when big hair was cool the first time around. She traveled some distance to see me and as always I was overjoyed to spend some time with her. She met me at the salon and I turned her into one hot mama. It was fun and I am glad I had the opportunity to spoil her a bit.

My moment of awe however came not with my friend, but with the client I serviced before her. A client that I have worked on many times before and definitely enjoyed, but had never thought much more about it that that. Today when she walked through the doors I felt warmth and kindness. I wanted to give her the best experience and let it be known that she was cared about. I always do my absolute best and continued to do so, but as she spoke as I worked I listened. I mean really listened and cared about every word that was said. I took extra steps to show I cared... and I do. After massaging her head at the shampoo bowl, I brought a hot steam towel over her brow. I firmly pressed the the steam into her skin and chanted in my head with each slow press "I wish you well, I wish you joy, I wish you comfort". I did not even notice that I was doing it until after I removed the towel. I realized it was true.

I enjoyed myself today. I laughed and I felt true joy. I was happy to be where I was and I wished happiness for others. Pleasure.

Stats:
Daily Points - 8
Extra - 1
Bonus - 0

lotto and run.

2011-12-27T15:55:00.000-06:00

Let me tell you about Christmas Eve. I have, in the past, adopted families for Christmas and bought toys for needy tots. I have participated in Operation Christmas Child and picked angel ornaments off trees in order to provide a gift for someone who otherwise might not have received one. One year I even organized a 'Cut-A-Thon' in which a bunch of stylists and myself did haircuts on the masses from our town and then donated the proceeds to a family of four boys whose mom dies of brain cancer a week before Christmas. I am no stranger to harnessing the power of the Christmas Spirit. However, never have I left my good deeds up to fate the way my family and I did on Christmas Eve and as my project intends. Never have I given willy nilly without any background information or careful selection of the recipient. It was shakes inducing and my trust was absolutely tested.

As I wrote in an earlier post, the fam and I decided to put $100 towards a random stranger's purchase at our local discount super center. This idea in theory sounded like a great idea. We have donated much more money to adopted families in Christmas' past than $100, so what's the big deal? There have many stories on the news reporting that people were paying off random layaways. I think that is a fabulous idea and I wish we had thought about it prior to Christmas Eve. Layaway gives me the impression that a person likely has need to pay a big purchase off over a few smaller payments. This gives the giver some sort of indication that the gift may be appreciated. It's like insurance. We decided not to take out that policy though. I did not happen to hear of the trend until the night prior to Christmas Eve and by that time I would assume that most people have collected their goods in order to wrap them for the big day. If by some chance there were a few left at the store, I would think it likely they would forever remain at the store - unclaimed. I did that once. I tried on and loved something like 20 dresses when I was a teenager and put them all on layaway. I handed over the $40 I had at the time and promised to pay the rest of eventually. I never went back. In fact I moved out of state. Good intentions but I couldn't follow through. That would be my biggest worry - that I would pay it, it would go unclaimed and then the big corporate store would get to keep my money AND the stuff. I understand that it is about the action and not what happens with the gift, but I am still working on that.

So instead, we went with a donation towards a real, live, in the flesh kind of person who was finishing up their procrastination shopping. We had discussed the few ways in which we could make the payment without rejection or causing the receiver any embarrassment. We decided the best way was to purchase a gift card and then on our way out of the store give it to someone in the checkout lane with the tagline: "There is a couple of bucks left on this, would you like it? We don't get to this side of town often." Simple, yes? Well that was the plan.

We arrived at the strip mall where the store is located and split up. Troy took the kids to the dollar store where they needed to buy a few last minute gifts and I headed to the superstore to pick up some items for dinner the next day and the gift card. As soon as I walked through the sliding doors my stomach began to rumble and I felt sick and nervous. $100 is a lot of money to just give to someone for no reason. I mean, what if the universe is not listening and we choose the wrong person? Like a child molester or a Republican. It was such a crapshoot. I silently asked for a sign. At that moment I looked up and spotted my cousin Barb. Barb lives in the Upper Penninsula of Michigan in a town many hours away from us. Her parents live in a town nearby, but we never see them. I stopped her and we embraced and talked of life. She told me she was just thinking of my dad (he died in an accident of sorts in June 2009). I told her I had just been thinking of her the day before. I had a previous by chance run in with her the year prior at a different store and had been wondering if she was in town. It is amazing how such things work that way. We exchanged digits and parted ways. I finished my shopping a neared the checkout. The gift cards live there. Sucking in a deep breath, I picked one up. Surely that was a sign. Or was it a coincidence? By leap of faith I bought that card.

I trekked down the cement walk that linked each store entrance to the next. I contemplated my nervous tummy and what it meant. Spying the up coming bookstore that was in my path, I decided to dash in for a cup of coffee before meeting the rest of my troop and carrying out our mission. Someone was ordering and I fell in line behind him. He was inquisitive and asking the barista many questions about the pastry. I paid attention and little attention and then great attention as I noticed that he too was yet another one of my father's cousins. This one I had not laid eyes on since the day we laid my father to rest. It was lovely to see him and it calmed my nervous stomach as well as my spirit. Of course there are greater things at work than me and my selfish worries. There is a plan. I can either be part of the good or step back and let life happen beside me. That is my role and I get to choose. After wishing my cousin a Merry Christmas, I skipped like a six year old out of the store to gather my brood.

We stalked the crowds of the superstore upon our return and looked for the perfect scenario. We headed to the toy section first but found it nearly empty. We moved on to the groceries only to discover many carts filled with two or three items each. Everyone was on their game this year. No procrastinators to be found. Ethan had a bit of money burning in his pocket and had the desire for a wallet, so we decided to allow him to make his purchase and then intended to wait up in the front of the store where we would have a better view of the registers. On our way to cash out we saw her. A lovely lady checking out by herself. The grocery belt was full of goods as was her cart. There were toys and food and boxed gifts with included tags. She was perfect. Ethan paid and then displayed his bag as if to show 'See? We really did do some shopping'. Quickly and without thinking I slip in beside her at the register and gave her my line about the few bucks left on the card. She took it and we scrambled out the door before she could finish loading her cart back up with her bagged goods. Did she appreciate it? I don't know. We left. Does it matter? No, it doesn't. We gave and that is indeed what matters. I hope she did and I can dream she did. But the lesson is the same to my children regardless of the outcome. The lesson is the same to me too.

As for today, I did a fun little give. I am sure this will be a repeat offender as I found childlike joy in the activity. I bought some scratch off lotto tickets and then left them under the wipers of a few cars. I attacked at the bank and then again at the courthouse. I had to open my business account and apply for my DBA respectively and incorporated my acts. There was a fun element of sneakiness due to the fact that there are lots of people just sitting in cars in the parking lots of both places. People do not take kindly to you messing with cars, so doing business quickly and then running away so you are not caught is the best option in my opinion. It was fun and each time I left one my daughter squealed with absolute delight. The fun is rubbing off already.

Stats:
Daily Points - 7
Extra - 1
Bonus - 0

My Christmas moment moment.

2011-12-26T17:46:00.001-06:00

Today was a day filled with clearing. Clearing of the home, clearing of the mind. I am preparing for a new year and am excited about all of the changes coming our way. I feel a need to prepare. We removed all of our gaudy Christmas decorations today. Although they were thoroughly enjoyed and will be greatly missed until next year, I feel that this hour is the first I have been able to truly concentrate and think straight since the day after Thanksgiving. It is wonderful to look out over my home and feel a sense of order and calm. It is a new day and I am excited.

One down point to my hunkering down and cleaning the Curet household is that... well, I never left it. I often do not leave home on a daily basis and once in awhile I may be home for an entire week - gasp! I know. I work from home mostly and I really, really like it here. This may not be much of an issue in my previous state of existence, but now I have a daily task to accomplish that I assumed I would need to leave to house for. I had a small panic attack this afternoon while contemplating this query. I should have known however that my answer would come to me as so many answers do... google. Of course there are ways to please people via the World Wide Web. I can, on lazy days, favor people in a multitude of ways with the click of some keys. This pleases me on so many levels.

Fear not my friends, I do not plan on never leaving my home again and helping out people in the flesh. I do however plan on using the internet to insure I do something every day.

Today I did a blog search. I went in search of a start up blog like my own that has no readers (like my own) as of the moment. My plan was to read a few and leave some nice comments of encouragement. Instead I found this one: http://www.mychristmasmoment.com/ There is not really a space to comment, so I thought perhaps an actual entry may be of more encouragement. This is something I would never normally do. I am not a participator. I have no need or want to share my Christmas moment. I replied merely to make the owner of the blog happy. There is a delay, but as soon as my musings are up I will let you all know. I am sure you are dying with anticipation.

Tomorrow I am opening a business account. This is something I am very excited about. I have never had a business account nor need for one - but now I do. A few years ago while looking for some kind of project for Marnie and I to do together, I stumbled upon a paper craft called quilling. While the tradition methods are of little interest to me, I fell in love with the craft and began making large wall art using the amazing paper coils. It has provided me with enormous amounts of joy but besides appearing in a few shows, has not made me a profit. I recently began using my skills to make jewelry using the same techniques and have found an entirely new level of happiness. People are loving what I am making and buying up all of my goods. It is the most glorious thing. Seeing people's reactions when they notice my designs is one of the best feelings. Second to how I feel when I see them wearing them. I have pride and it feels amazing. I want my business to grow a bit and become more legit. The lovely salon in which I work has agreed to carry my earrings and most of the girls I work with now own a pair. I would love to carry them in a couple of stores in our downtown as well and perhaps even a gallery. For now though I am grateful for the business account and the business cards that are on their way. I am in the beginning stages of planning a small remodel in our basement and creating a studio space for myself. I am wanting to put more focus on turning my passion from a hobby into a business and I feel that requires a more serious space. At the moment I have been working out of our bedroom using a lowered ironing board as a table. I am excited to see where this will grow. As a bonus to the renovations, Ethan is changing rooms to the largest which is also on the lowest level. He is excited as he will now have room to have an indoor play structure. I am excited because his old room will soon be a new walk in closet for the hubs and I. A new space for a new year and I am so excited to see what else follows!

Stats:
Daily Points - 6
Extra - 1
Bonus - 0

Christmas came and all I got was working at this crummy job.

2011-12-25T21:10:00.001-06:00

Merry Christmas! I absolutely need to do some research on things I can do for people that A) Don't cost a bizillion dollars and B) Can be done without a ton of planning for days like today. Options were limited today but I didn't want to be lame and claim the giving of presents was my give. I truly procrastinated and did not have anything pre thought out to do. I could have easily blown it. On day 5 too. That would have been an epic fail. I made it though. On the way to family's for dinner, Troy commented how much it sucked to work at the movie store since they were actually open on Christmas day. That is insane. I do not want to even support that company since they obviously value a dollar more that the people they have working for them. On the return trip, we stopped at the only other place open today - Speedway - and (after buying 2 Mega Lottery tickets) bout a package of oatmeal raisin cookies. Marnie and I then ran into the video store and told the poor fellow behind the counter how sorry we were that he had to be working and that we brought him some cookies. He looked a bit shocked but responded with thanks and a Merry Christmas. We then ran out the door.

I have two really big ones to do this week coming up. I am pretty excited about one of them in particular. I am really enjoying the process of thinking about giving so frequently. If nothing else, that is time not thinking about myself, yes? The kids are already catching on and have agreed to begin giving away 10% of any money they earn. They have money coming in on a regular basis, so I think this is fair. Both Troy and I have our own businesses and each kid 'owns' 2% of each. We work together as a family, so we feel it is fair that they earn as well. Troy and I have made the decision for the first time in our lives that it is time for us to tithe 10% of our income on a weekly basis. My project is above and beyond that amount, but I like to think of it as backpay. We do not attend church on a very regular basis, and I am not sure if we ever will, but I do think we owe 10% to someone and the church is a good place for it to go. I just need to convince them to put a donate button on their webpage so I do not need to check in every Sunday. Anyhoo, the kids are tossing many ideas around about what they want to do with the percentage they have from all of their Christmas cash. They kind of banked this year, so they each have about $15 to spend on acts. Some interesting ideas have been popping up and I cannot wait to see what the final decision is.

Troy is jumping on board a little bit too. He is the headliner in one of the big ones coming up. He is very nervous but trusting that this will be good for us. He deserves his own post however, so I will leave it at that for now.

Stats:
Daily Points - 5
Extra - 1
Bonus - 0

big breath in....

2011-12-24T09:41:00.001-06:00

I likely will not be able to post later today due to the holiday, so I will just let you know what my act of the day will be and then I can fill you in on the details some other time...

The whole family is taking a trip over to the local maya discount shopping center where we will buy a $100 gift card. We will then politely stalk out our unsuspecting prey and wait for them to check out. Looking as if we are leaving the store, we will approach our person (people) and ask if they would like to use the remainder of our gift card as there is only a couple of bucks on it and we do not usually frequent that particular store. Then we run out the front door and leave. I hope it goes as smoothly as it does in my head. I also hope my children don't geek out with excitement and blow our cover. This will be their first 'secret' give.

Merry Christmas!

Stats:
Daily Points - 4
Extra - 1*
Bonus - 0

* Got a coffee from the book store that cost a little more than $1. Paid with a $5 and left the barista all of the change. Maybe not a big deal, but they cannot ALL be big and it is something I would absolutely not have done before.

she likes me, she likes me not.

2011-12-23T18:58:00.000-06:00

Today's act was a success and it felt good to do. It is tricky to pull off acts of kindness this time of year since most people assume it is a Christmas present or some such thing. It doesn't really matter what the thoughts are behind the receiver though I suppose - only the fact that I gave in the first place. I have been trying to find ideas online about different ways I can surprise people with kind gestures. Todays was pulled from one of the lists I read. It had suggested giving flowers to a person at work that is normally over looked and under appreciated. Seeing as I work in a salon, that would absolutely be the receptionist. I called ahead by a few days to find out who was working and learned there would actually be two today. One is a sweetheart and very easy to give to. The other... well, let's just say that we have clashing personalities and try to avoid one another whenever possible. This is felt on both sides I am sure. An act is an act however, so I put on my big girl panties and decided to give to both. I went out the other day and bought vases and some lovely river rocks. I purchased two very pretty bouquets in a holiday theme. I decided that in addition to the flowers, a personalized card of thanks would really put some emphasis on how much they are appreciated. The one was easy. The second required a little rubbing of my gratitude rock, but eventually the words came and I truly did have feelings of appreciation and wishes of joy for her and her family.

The easy one was there when I arrived and reacted exactly as you would assume one would. The other arrived a few hours later - grumpy. It was time for me to leave, so I took a private moment in another room to ground myself and make the choice that her mood would not effect me. I gathered myself up and left for the day - not knowing if she even saw her flowers.

A few hours later I got a call. It was a very nice call. She told me about the bad week she was having and that perhaps the flowers made it a bit better. I wished her a merry Christmas and that was that. Maybe the seed has been planted. Maybe a new relationship will grow or at least the old will change. With one small gesture, a bit of time and some guts.

Stats:
Daily Points - 3
Extra - 0
Bonus - 0

neighbors being neighborly.

2011-12-22T22:02:00.002-06:00

What a difference today was. I awoke still in a funk. I felt drained and uneasy. Even though I could not put my finger on the exact why, I had the general feeling that it was still do to the mom. I could not stop thinking about it and the way that I felt. The reaction I had yesterday shames me a bit and I just could not wrap my head around what happened exactly. I was so excited about the prospect of changing the situation prior to leaving for the mom's house. I had high hopes and I was going to rise above and move on. It did not go the way I intended. Now granted there are many, many missing details from yesterday's story - but even had I included them, it would probably have read pretty bland and as though I am making something out of nothing. I understand this. I logically can see that I am being a big baby, but then why can I not shake the encounter?

As I do in every situation - good or bad, I ran everything past my husband during our morning coffee pow wow. He knew how much I was dreading the afternoon and how I had been anxious over what to do and how to end it. Being the amazing sounding board that he is, he listened to me drone on and on and on about how bizarrely bad I felt when I left. I described how my mood changed as soon as I entered the home, how insanely tired I became half way through (my friend had to make me espresso because I suddenly could not keep my eyes open or formulate a sentence), and how worthless I felt when I left. A feeling which kept clinging to my mind throughout the night and into this morning. I relayed a feeling of all the energy being drained from me. Ding! Ding! The idea hit me that maybe that IS exactly what happened. Maybe it was not the mom at all per say, but the fact that I lost energy. I recalled the one previous time that I had visited my friend's house and the fact that intense sleepiness overcame me then as well. The mom was not there at the time but still I felt drained. Maybe it was in fact the house and not the mom. Maybe it was both. Who knows and really who cares? The fact of the matter is that I feel drained after being there. I did a quick google on energy drainers and found lots of useful information and also a lot of rubbish. Amongst the good, I found some articles regarding wearing crystals to protect your energy. I have never really bought into that kind of thing in the past, but am a firm believer in the fact that if you believe something to be true long enough it will become so in your mind. I have also been keen on acquiring a stone or some such artifact that I can relay my sense of gratitude upon. Troy and I have been studying the law of attraction and gratitude is an idea that I am fond of. A crystal seemed perfect and the dual purpose made the stone in mind even better.

Marnie and I had some Christmas shopping to do, so off we went with a small detour to the New Age shop in our town. I was a bit apprehensive about going in - let's just say I am not a frequent visitor. The staff could not have been more helpful though and they did not make me feel like a moron. They explained crystals and stones to me and the different properties or 'powers' some have. There was this large tree like structure that hung dozens of stone pendants from it. The colors were amazing and I am a total sucker for anything shiny. Both shop keepers told me to concentrate on the stones and one would appear to me. The one I was drawn to would be the exact stone I would need. I looked but felt nothing. The female took a lovely green stone down - jade I think - and read me it's properties out of a book. It was nice but not right. The male chose another green stone which was also quite lovely but not what I was looking for. Then a stone began to glow - I shit you not - it actually glowed to me. I pointed and asked what that stone meant and after a quick flip through the book learned that amongst many other things, it helped you deal with difficult people and situations. It was to be my rock. Ironically my chosen rock was also green. I wonder if the two helping me knew I was going to be needing a green rock or if it was mere coincidence. I wish I had thought to ask. A silver chain, a fairy book for the girl, and $50 later we were out the door.

Is it going to work? Yes, sure it will. If I believe it to it will become what I need. I do already feel much better about the whole thing. I came home and cleansed the rock - and by cleansing I mean I washed it in water. I held it and thought about what I want it to do for me. I sent waves of gratitude from my ming into the rock. Then I went in the hot tub.

Hopefully this rock will do me some good. An interesting side note here: After returning home, I looked up the stone and learned some more information about it's properties. One mentioned was the fact that it has been known to help with physic abilities and communication with those who have passed on. Wouldn't that really throw a crazy twist into this experiment if I ended up being able to talk to dead people? We won't dwell on that however - let's move on to my act for the day.

A quick note before I start though - I have been thinking of what to call my experiment. All over the internet there is information about random acts of kindness and paying it forward, etc. That is not exactly what I am wanting to do here. It is swell and all but I am not doing anything exactly randomly. Every recipient is pre selected or at least the idea of them is. Every act has been planned out. As great as it is, there is no spontaneity here. Maybe that can be implemented in the future. As of this moment however, I have decide to call my acts Premeditated Acts of Kindness. P.A.K. if you will. I like this because the main change I want to implant into my life is the shifting of my focus. From negative to positive. From myself to others. Random indicates that little thought is put into the actual act. Planning ahead suggests the idea that you were thinking of that person for an amount of time and the joy you might bring them. Random is great and I hope to do that too, but I want to be much more involved than that and maybe a year from now I will feel a bit more evolved.

Today's act was a lovely full head of highlights on my very sweet neighbor, Leah. She lives a few doors down, has three very small children and loves to bake. I also think she is very alone. Leah asked a few days ago if she and the girls could come over to decorate some Christmas cookies with my kiddos. That is one tradition that we do not normally do at our house due to not eating sugar and baking gluten free stuff that is sugar free and has no chemicals in it sucks. Leah however has a Celiac sister and was up for the challenge. I asked her to come on over a bit earlier than planned so I could do her hair and she was thrilled. The afternoon was a circus. Little girls everywhere. Marnie, at seven, was the oldest by more than two years and Ethan was odd man out. There were fights and bruises were made from many a fall. But there was more fun than furry for sure. There was one questionable moment in which one of the children emptied out four bottles of liquid food coloring onto my dining room table and her clothing and the proceeded to sit on my red leather chaises - all whilst her mother was laying on my kitchen counter with her head in my sink. No permanent damage though and the child was allowed to live.

It was great though. I was able to spend a lot of time with Leah. I have been intending on having her over for a long time - since I met her, but have just not found the time. I think she needs a friend. And maybe so do I.

Stats:
Daily Points - 2 (on target)
Extra - 0
Bonus - 0

Can this be done?

2011-12-21T18:29:00.000-06:00

Well, honestly I feel a bit deflated. I am glad I get 375 more chances to do this. This evening's act did not go as well as I hoped but I do suppose much of that was my fault. I have been feeling a bit ill about this encounter for a couple of days and had mere hours beforehand to try to turn it around in my head but was apparently unsuccessful. I need to give a bit of background here, but am very wary about doing so. I in no way wish to hurt anyone's feelings but part of this experiment is to see how events in my life over the next year unfold and how can comparisons be made if there is no 'before' to compare it to? I will try to be a bit vague and change names without leaving out any important details.

Let's start with the call from my friend about three or four months back. This was a call asking if I would mind coloring her mother's hair. No, I don't mind. Of course. This friend of mind is a keeper. A very generous girl whom I like very much. She ask'd how much I would charge - Oh nothing! I don't mind doing her hair for free... once that is. I did not know that once would end up being once every four weeks. I attempted to arrange a barter with the mom but it has never happened. I have continued to do her hair. Why? I do not know. I am not sure of my reasoning. Each time she calls to have me meet her once again I plan to nicely explain to her all the reasons I cannot do this. Each time I meet her, I need to leave my family. I also work from home, so every time I leave is time I am not spending doing what I need to be doing to earn my living. The mom does give me $20 but that is not even 1/5 of what I would charge at the salon.

This may seem like no big deal - here I am trying to do things for other people on a continuous basis. And I do see the irony here. However, this mom is not destitute nor unable to pay. She went to another girl from my salon prior to me - she merely wants to spend less and has told me so. I also do not feel that what I am doing is very much appreciated. In fact I feel quite the opposite. I leave each visit feeling badly and determined that I will not do it again. Then she calls four weeks later...

This was going to be the week. She called a couple days ago asking if I would come over. I agreed. I mulled over what to say about this being my last time and all... but.... she then told me how badly she was doing because her mother died last week. I just could not add to that. Nope. I caved and agreed to go. The next day the idea for this challenge came about. Who better to be my first act than her? I decided to also bring her a nice plant to cheer her up a bit.

I am not quite sure what I expected. It was not it though... I still felt badly when I left and definitely less happy than when I arrived. I cannot do that again. I am sure that not every deed is going to be appreciated, but I do not need to do it over and over.

I am absolutely done dwelling on this evening. I do not want to think about this anymore. It makes me feel bad.

Tomorrow is a new day and a new act. I am gifting highlights to my neighbor who could not afford them otherwise. This one I am very fond of and I am very excited to do this for her. I promise that not every act will involve hair, but the first two just happen to fall into that category.

Stats:
Daily Points - 1
Extra - 0
Bonus - 0

A new year is a comin'...

2011-12-21T14:46:00.000-06:00

This year has been such a huge one for me. Best in my thirty years I would think. My life is a culmination of great blessings, outrageous joys and limitless jubilation. I want to share what I have. I want to do more than share. I want to connect with people and bring about some kindness in a local and very personal way. I have had the thought and I feel the motivation deep within and there is nothing to do but simply act... And act I will. This blog is being reborn. Right now and at this very minute. I am committing myself here and to you. I intend to share my love, good fortune, and abundant blessings in a big (to me at least way). I want to document my journey to keep myself accountable, track my progress and selfishly get creative inspirations from you fine folk out there that are kind enough to read my blog. I begin to day but first perhaps a bit of background on myself and then the rules I suppose... There may be some info on this blog about me from years ago when it first began, but I am not the same gal who discarded my happenings in the past, so some newer info may be helpful. I am Erin. I like to sign my name with a lowercase e however - not sure if that says anything about me or not. I am newly 30 and very in love with my husband of 8 years (Troy). We have two quirky and amazing children who inspire and teach me every day. Marnie is my girl and Ethan is my boy. They are seven and five respectively. I am an artist most of the time, a hair stylist part of the time, and a life lover all of the time. We live in beautiful northern Michigan and enjoy the summer months enormously. Our dream is to one day live in small abode in Hawaii during the winter whilst homeschooling our kids and return home to our quaint town in the warmer weather. I would love that to happen sooner rather than later, but am happily living here now. My husband is in the restaurant business and is in the starting stages of a new venture. We can talk about that some other time though. We have some animals - they're pretty neat too, but I will also save them for a later date. In an effort to stay on the path intended, I am going to move onto the rules... but first let me say that I reserve the right to amend these at any time if I deem fit. Okay, here we go:

I will preform an act of kindness at least once a day for the next 376 days. That will take us to the 1st of January 2013. I do not want to wait until the New Year.

I will preform an additional 24 acts of kindness throughout the year to bring my goal up to 400. I can go over but there is no banking of points. One act must be done, regardless of how small, each and every day.

I will encourage and attempt to inspire my husband and children to follow my lead and keep track of their happenings with *bonus* points. Their acts are simply that - bonus. They will not count towards my own goals.

There is no prize at the end. I truly am doing this just to share and in my deepest of hopes - maybe inspire.

I will record my doings here. I am shooting for daily but blogging is not the most important part of this challenge. I will be completely honest with you - even if I am doing poorly. I pray for myself that it will not be the case however. I am also going to write a lot about my daily life and what is going on in it. Part of this experiment is seeing how this project changes my family and specifically myself. At this exact moment I do not have a sad story. My life is pretty great and happy. What can happen in a year? I am curious too.

In regards to being completely honest in my posts - I may need to change some names. I do not want to embarrass anyone and I do indeed plan on smothering people I know in kindness as well. You are just going to have to be okay with that. I am also going to try to keep my activities local. I love big charities and think they do a lot of good, but I want to see what I can do here in my hometown. I also want everyone to benefit not solely the destitute. We try to buy locally as much as possible so why not also give locally as much as possible?

I am sure I am going to have more to add but for now that shall do. I am off to do my first act and will be back later this evening with the tale.

renting blows.

2010-08-12T06:53:00.000-05:00

I forgot how much I hate being a renter. I forgot how much you stop caring about your surroundings. Color is a huge love in my life. It is a mood changer - a deal breaker. We were told we could paint the walls in this house, but really - who wants to spend money on someone else's investment? Not I, Small Fry. And yet the house now feels lonesome and without character. It is cozy and the wood work saves it from being entirely dismal, but it does give me a bit of the wanderlust. We still are the notsopround owners of a lovely home in LaPorte, Indiana. Yeah. We have renters in the house now and the do not suck so bad. Consistently a few days late on their rent, but so far nothing worse has arose. I want to sell that house. I want to buy another. Everywhere I turn I find yet another beautiful home in a beautiful neighborhood that calls my name. I am obsessed. I search real estate listings over and over to see if anything new has popped up. Now that I am also working full time, our budget has also increased. Homes this go around are much more appealing than last. Goodbye to having only one bathroom... I need a real estate agent.

a week in photos.

2010-07-25T10:21:00.003-05:00

Humph. This really should be multiple posts, but I have been busy. And lazy. It's been kind of a crappy week out, so we have been craftin' it up around here. Working on lots-o-goodies. I have been a bit frantic to produce some beauty as of late and I am beginning to think it is because I am anticipating the dreariness of winter. I know it is not even August quite yet, but I can feel the cold coming. Winter is lurking. And where winter lurks, dark and dreary gray days follow. I want lots of color and happiness on our walls. Let us begin.

This project is not for my walls. Nor did I make it this week. I actually gave it away to a sweet baby cherub a couple of weeks ago, but the pictures were still on my camera and they needed to be shared somewhere dagnabit. Not my usual fare, but I fell in love with the wee one Lila in utero of one of my favorite ladies on this earth - so an exception was made. The three girls in the center are embroidered from a pattern purchased here . I had a feeling Lila would indeed be a girlie, so I began stitching them up a bit ago. The quilled cards came later.

Excuse the shadow of my large head. Oh well.

These are my attempt at Roses. Um, I know.

At least it's better than a baby blanket. Guess how many baby blankets I was given when Ethan was born? 17. Yup.

Next up is Troy's current Food Porn submission. If you do not know about this website, well then you are like the rest of us - normal. My husband however is obsessed. It's not enough to be geeked out on artsy food all of the time, now he has to whore it out. He has not had a photo accepted yet, but he is a determined little fellow. Below is this past Tuesday's dinner of mushroom crusted rack of lamb with a leek puree, roasted shitake mushrooms and some sort of potato/squash deal.

Our house, which we rent is on 23 acres. Waaaay out. Unfortunately however - our neighbor's house is right across the drive. They are positioned to look right into our living room if they so desired. To boot, our landlord also has his cabinet making business on the property and is here multiple times a week. Not really the private setting we had anticipated when moving in, but alas. We could keep the shades drawn and live like hermits, but that's not really my style. I got the bright idea this week to make window art with the kids that would add some color to our inside world and keep some of the peepers out. This attempt was both successful and a bit dismal. My idea was to create 'stained glass' dots to hang on four sets of windows by melting crayons inside of waxed paper and then cutting to shape. Easy enough. I remember doing similar projects as a child, so how hard can it be? Um, hard. I bought way too many crayons, ruined a sheet, pillowcase, and my iron. And disappointed my children due to my promise that they may iron said wax paper thingies and then getting pissed off at the mess I was making and not letting them. Seriously it was a huge freaking mess. Wax everywhere. I will not do this project again. Ever.

All the hard work and none of the fun. It took them forever to peel all of those crayons and I think we used about eight.

This picture does not do them justice - the dots are actually very pretty from the inside looking out. Lots of variation in color and texture. I was hoping it would shine color dots around the room when the sun hit, but that does not happen at all. The other thing that sucks is how the dots appear from the exterior of the house. They might as well be construction paper. Not so much artsy as tacky.

Recently Troy and I decide we no longer wished to hang reproductions on our walls and would instead favor only originals - be it our own or other artist's. In way of this new movement, we are also re-purposing some of the pictures we currently have hanging. With the exception of one, I am very tired of the 'art' we have up. I am also trying not to spend much money, so we have had to get a bit creative. Our first attempt is a collective painting. The original work was a painting I bought off Ebay a decade ago. We first primed over it and then cut and glued foam shapes to it's surface.

The colors of the foam do not really matter since they will eventually be covered by paint, but I thought it would be more interesting for the kids to kind of see what direction we are heading. The foam is merely there to provide dimension. Next comes the puff paint. Lots of puff paint.

The first phase is done, but I think it needs to fully dry before moving on. It has been 24 hours and it is still very wet. I bet it will be at least another 2 days before we can move on to the flowers. I know I should have, but I did not anticipate the weight of this picture. The paint is so heavy.

On a dissimilar note, I attempted to dye a dress for my cousin's upcoming wedding. Marnie is the flower girl and we were asked to color the dress she wore in my brother's wedding last year to match their theme. This obviously is not going to work out.

I'm not exactly sure what happened here. Parts of the dress just did not color at all. Such a bummer. Now I need to find another dress for her to wear and I do not want to. I do not want to!! Urg.

My last photo for the day is a glimpse at my current quill work in progress. A tree obviously. I hope to finish this by the end of the week and then off to the framer's. I am itching to start a bigger one.

It's hard to see the detail. I'll get better pictures up when it's done.

Try, try and try again.

2010-07-21T08:34:00.000-05:00

We'll give it yet another go round to see if we can make this blog thing work. It is funny to look back at my previous two attempts and see how different life is now. Too much to post at once. Much sadness and much happiness as well. We shall see what this turn brings about.

2009-09-12T20:33:00.004-05:00

After a busy and crazy week, Troy and I figured we'd reward ourselves and head out early this morning for the farmer's market in a nearby town. What a treat compared to the diddly-shit version we have here. We drove by the local market this morning and there were 3 tents and a couple buckets. I want to shop as locally as possible - but it is sad that I have to travel 12 miles to do so. All of the the farmers who live near us were at the other market. I cannot blame them really - it was boomin'. It was everything I hoped it would be. Love in veggie form. We munched on pastry while perusing the amazing cheeses, heirloom produce and free-range organic meats. We were like kiddos hyped on cotton candy. Many great finds were had, but I have to say that this one was by far my favorite:

What is this big block-o-crap you ask? Ahh, my little friend - 'tis not crap but in fact a block for little mushroom beauties to grow. While sampling some of the yummiest shiitakes ever - the mushroom seductress behind the counter did some mind voodoo and in in a haze I was walking away with this beauty. No mind. I am pretty excited to see what happens. I have to soak it 3 times daily until the shroomletes begin to emerge and then they should be ready to harvest in 7-10 days. We shall see...

lame town halloween.

2008-10-27T14:40:00.002-05:00

Last night, Sunday night that is - a full 5 days prior to Halloween - we took our kids trick-or-treating. Odd? Yes, I concur. I have been racking my brain for the last two weeks trying to figure out why Lame Town set it up this way. I cannot figure it out. Halloween this year falls on a Friday... and there is no school the next day... It's over my head.

Anyhoo, we went trick-or-treating to a whole 5 houses before returning home. It was freezing outside and I think my poor son was about to die. Troy and I each took a kid to ready up for the outing - Marnie fell to me because she decided last minute to be a lion - the same exact costume she wore last year. Blech. She insisted this year WAS different because this year she was going to be a girl lion. No matter that the costume has a sewn in mane. Semantics Mom. A girl lion is apparently differentiated by the makeup on her face, hence Marnie being my responsibility. If left to Troy, she would have been a tranny lion - actually that may have been more appropriate given the mane, but I digress. Troy in turn took Ethan who chose to be an alligator. Given that Troy will be 30 next week, has been a father for almost five years and has been with my anal ass for 8 - I have come to trust him to do small tasks. Perhaps a mistake on my part. I finish dressing my gender confused lion, see that Ethan is Alligator looking, snap a few photos and we are out the door. Two blocks in, Ethan starts noticeably shaking. I mention that we should probably head back home since it is so cold out. Yes, Troy agrees. After all Ethan only has a diaper on beneath his costume. Stop. Blink. Blink. No winter coat? A sweater? A pair of pants? It was 56 degrees when taking pictures on our stoop. Troy defends himself by informing me that he and his brother never had to wear anything under their costumes on Halloween growing up. I remind him that he grew up in southern Mississippi and that he now lives in the midwest and has done so for 10 years. Nothing. Blank stare.

Troy was not the disturbing part of my fake-Halloween Halloween though. The really odd part came after we returned and set ourselves up to hand out candy to all the little treat seeking kiddos that would pass our house. At least that is what I bought the candy for. In reality, I think we had an entire 4 children in costume come to our door. I did however have 5 different mothers, at different times throughout the evening - pushing infants in strollers, without any other children in sight, appear with bags asking for candy. These babies were in no way old enough to eat mashed peas - candy would kill them. It was really bizarre. If it was just one, I would shrug it off and toss it in the annoying Halloween category - you know, the one where kids without costumes and the ones sporting boobs and mustaches go, but five? That's a bit more than strange. Most of them also went into these 'cutesy' little voices as if speaking for the baby. I'd have rather they just flashed a gun and demand all my candy. That would have spooked me less.

dognabit.

2008-10-25T13:26:00.002-05:00

I don't think we can handle this dog anymore. It is pretty heartbreaking since she really is lovable and the kids are quite attached to her 50 % of the time - you know, when she's not peeing on their freshly made beds and amputating the legs off the Dora the Explorer family. No one will let us bring her to obedience class due to her inability to not pee all over the floor every 10 minutes. I hope that we can find her a nice big farm to go live on - she should live in a barn or something. We will miss her, but here's what I'm not going to miss:

- Washing the 7 towels each and every day that are needed to sop up her urine puddles on the floor.

- Wondering where the hell all the (fill in the blank) went? Last night she ate 3 entire sticks of butter that were sitting on the counter AND the box they were in.

-The constant flipping of the kid's mattresses because she has deemed them potty stops.

- Searching for my children in the morning to get them ready for school when we are all ready late - she is exceptionally hyper in the early hours of the day and the kiddos hide to avoid her.

- Lifting the 4 gallon water tank she speeds through each day.

- The poop. Why not outside? Why?? She has kidney problems, not bowel and is let out every 20 minutes.

- People not coming over because they fear she will eat them. It's valid really.

- Having to use only plastic dishes. She has broken all 12 of our place settings with the exception of two bowls and 3 salad plates. She pulls them off counters and tables hoping food may be on them.

- Having to replace what once was perfectly good carpet because of all the 'Mokie spots".

There are even more things that we will all miss about her. She is truly a great dog with a funny personality. She is constantly running into walls and falling off of couches. The giggles never cease. She's a 75 pound bundle of entertainment. Over the short time we have had her, I now understand why people love their dogs so much. We have tried everything in order to keep this dog. For two months, while having all the tests done on her, we put her in depends. This sort of worked and sort of did not. We had less accidents in the house, but she would occasionally poop in them too. When Troy would take her outside to hose her off, the house a few doors down containing a dozen or so highly shady hispanic men and constant traffic would start singing a song they made up which began "Diaper dog, diaper dog, gotta hose off that shit log..." Eventually Troy no longer wanted to leave the house, so we abandoned the practice and took to doing extra laundry.

oh, by the way...

2008-10-23T15:44:00.002-05:00

Jenny Owens Young sucks ass.... hard. Please disregard previous post in which praise was put forth. I had the unfortunate opportunity to sit and suffer through a Milwaukee performance in which she compared said town to a birthing placenta. What the eff? Exactly.

vintage re visited.

2008-10-23T14:23:00.003-05:00

This girl is ready to come back. A year or so has gone by and my life is a bit different - but a lot is just the same. Here's a bitty update to getcha' up to speed:

House- so, we moved from the Clear Lake house and our rented homestead to become first time home buyers. In my weak defense, buying a home can be a bit daunting. There are so many things you have to keep track of and even more you need to look for. If I had to choose one mistake that we made in the home buying process, it would have to be the abandoning of all our ambitions and ideals. I've got to tell you that that is probably not something a person should overlook. Oops. We do not have a homestead - actually we cannot even call it a yard. No pity party here, I'm just saying. We do have a nice big 'ol house that needs a lot of work and there does not seem to be light at the end of the... oh shit, there is no tunnel.

Kids- They're still here.

Dog- Oh yes, there is now a dog. A very big dog. Mokie is what we yell when we are wishing her to ignore us. She is a lovely eight month old Saint Bernard. She weighs a crap ton and likes to destroy things (Troy would say his soul). She also has kidney disease which makes her drink 4 gallons of water a day, which makes her do the obvious A LOT, which makes the irony that we lived on 40 acres with no dog and now live in a house sans yard a tad bit more annoying rather than haha.

Pursuit of happiness- It goes well. We have continued to live like penniless paupers and create our own fun from scratch. This has more to do with us actually being penniless paupers and less to do with me being trendy. I have to say that it is kind of fun to be back in this place of forced creativity. When I think back to the years where Troy and I, newly married, could barely afford rent on our 250 sq. foot apartment, slept on a mattress on the floor and window shopped for entertainment - I miss it. I miss it in a don't REALLY want to go back there kind of way, but nostalgia nonetheless. Back then we lived on less because we had to and now we face the same reality. Not for the same reasons this time around, but the result is the same. We moved to this lame ass bodunk little town a few miles from Troy's job. In the dead of winter, underneath a blanket of snow, it looked charming. The Christmas lights, the historic downtown - it was all very romantic to my old soul. Unfortunately the snow melted and I now find myself in a sea of un cared for, could be beautiful homes and a dying economy. There is nothing doing well here. Sadly the school system has followed the trend also. This happens to be bad for me. After two weeks of (FREE!) public school, I could take no more. Marnie would come home with pictures of shapes that she had traced and print outs reminding her that apples are round. This after an entire summer of learning how to read and other educational pursuits. There was no where to increase her skills the teachers told me. The program was not set up that way. Students are taught at one pace regardless of their level. We pulled her out and entered the charter system. A charter school, for those who do not know, is a school, funded by the public school system, but teaches using a non traditional method. We chose a Montessori based school due to the way we feel children learn best. Since it is part of the school system, it is free. That is EXCEPT for the preschool, that is still considered private and cost almost as much as my house payment. There is an end to this however - next year Marnie will be in kindergarten and she will be able to attend free of charge, but for the next 7 months, we have to suffer without 25% of our take home pay. Doable, but not really ideal. But then I had an idea - always dangerous - that since we have to bare bones it for seven months, why not really cut back, suffer through and be better off in the end? Why not go back to school myself? Sounds like a good idea to me, so I am. Beauty school that is. I start Tuesday.

In case you were wondering...

2007-10-04T08:39:00.000-05:00

My computer is acting up and I haven't been able to post. It's headed to the shop though, so everything should be back to normal next week. Don't fret my little apple strudels.

Spread some J.O.Y.

2007-09-25T06:12:00.000-05:00

Love this girl. That is a command.

Her name is Jenny Owen Youngs and she has lots of yummy songs all her own. You can get a better listen here:

http://www.myspace.com/jennyowenyoungs

(You will have to copy and paste. The link button is missing from blogger?)

Jenny does have an album. I can't afford it though, so I am pretending that she doesn't.

ut-o

2007-09-24T17:34:00.000-05:00

Today, when picking up Marnie from school, I was pulled aside by one of her teachers. She needed to 'speak' to me. My stomach instantly dropped to my knees and a feeling that I have not felt in almost a decade crept into my being. Was I in trouble?

Apparently Marnie is having some issues regarding the bathroom. Her teacher, in an o-so teacherish tone informed me that after using the facilities, instead of finishing up in the usual manner, she instead removes her clothing and parades out into the classroom - shaking what her Mama gave her. Sadly that Mama is me. Why she is doing this, I have not a clue. Well, maybe I have some ideas, but they all make me feel worse.

I did not know I could feel this way at my age. I did not get in trouble with my teachers much as a kid, but when I did it destroyed me. I have never been one to handle criticism well. I would dwell for days on what was wrong with me. It makes me sad to think of it even now. After graduating however, I rejoiced in the fact I would never have to face that dread again. Of course the judgement was replaced instantly with that from employers and eventually other mothers... but none compared to that of a teacher. Perhaps it is so bad because they are invested in you. Perhaps it is because they try to care. Who knows, who cared really because I would never have to feel that way again.

Eff no.

After today's curb side discussion, I came to an absolutely horrifying realization. I am going to have to feel this make me wanna puke dread x 18 years x however many children I end up birthing. This is awful. Possibly enough for me to consider sterilization... for Troy. This possibility never crossed my mind and due to my ignorance I am now crawled up in a chair, my stomach in knots, wondering why my child is doing this and why I am such a sham of a mother.

Shit.

wow

2007-09-24T16:39:00.000-05:00

This made me almost pee my pants.

a little good karma.

2007-09-23T18:42:00.000-05:00

There have been many changes in our house since we decided to do away with television four months ago or so. We originally gave up the service not due to convictions nor even financial purposes, but more a kind of laziness. That seems strange, even to type - giving up t.v. (the gateway drug to prolonged lethargy) due to having little/no motivation? But it be the truth. We had the popular bundle of cable, internet, & digital phone services. Two out of the three were rubbish. I almost was never access the internet - which for a net junkie like myself, can be a little frightening fo people that have no choice but be in my company. The phone worked, but only if you did not need the person on the other end to hear a single word that you spoke. People were constantly hanging up on us, thinking that the call was 'lost'. True testament of laziness: we kept the service for about 10 months before finally switching providers. The switch took me all of twenty minutes, but that seemed un doable within those first ten months. So finally I switched us. Goodbye Comcast, hello whatever company we go through now. When doing away with internet and phone, my bundle was unraveled - leaving me with a not very likable cable cost and even worse than that, an additional check to be mailed out each month. Screw that business, so out went t.v.

The change has went very smoothly in my opinion. I feared that I would be really out of my freaking mind bored, but not so. I always can find something to do (you were right mom and dad!) and usually still find myself lacking for time to get things done. I had expected to see a change in Marnie, but there has not really been much of one. I think she was too young still to be really attached to television. She continues to watch videos occasionally. She doesn't ask for any of the annoying toys that are on the market though since she is not viewing any of the wicked advertising geared towards her, which is pleasant. I am sure this is only temporary however. She is sure to see things that her friends have and get a case of the "gimmes". As of right now though, since she only watches videos and most of said videos are from my collection as a kid, I do often get requests to go see movies that have been out past a decade. She's crazy about Rainbow Brite. And is currently absorbed in the world of Muppets and Fraggle Rock. Which is fine - that is until the heart retching day that a connection is made within her mind and she figures out that NOBODY watches what she does. Not one of her friends have a clue what she is talking about. Her family is a freak show and she is THAT kid.

It has been good for the husband and I too. It is not really very interesting though to anyone who is not Troy or I and undoubtedly is an obvious reaction to stated action. No t.v. = husband & wife actually talk = better marriage. You can be a dummy like me and still have predicted that one.

One of the changes I did not expect however is my new obsession for hunting new bands and artists to listen too. I spend quite a bit of time listening to songwriters and happening upon many soon to be favorites. I love this little bonus in my life. I have stumbled into quite a few that I cannot believe I did not previously know about. There is one annoying little detail though and no way to get past it - often times the music that I am instantly attracted to does not belong to any label. Meaning that there is no album for me to buy. Or, as often happens, the band is in another country and their work has not been released in the US. Such was the case for Amy Winehouse. I began listening to the songstress about a year ago which was before she was heard of over here. She had already had a hit record out and there was no way to download it (legally) here. It was not until 'Back to Black' came out in the US that I was finally able to listen to Amy without carting around my laptop. Her older album is still not available here. Today I heard a song while listening to BBC 2 and fell in love with it instantly. You can listen to it here: http://www.myspace.com/adelelondon The girl (Adele) is amazing, but does not have a record or even a single to be purchased. Myspace is the only place you can hear her unless you happen to be in South London and pop into one of her gigs. My thought is, if I talk about some of my finds, maybe it will put good vibes out and records will be released. It has always been my observation that whenever you discover a great band that is not well known and you are super cool for listening to them and being so 'indie' - that is when they become a huge success and start getting play on the radio. No one believes you that you listened to them before... what a poser you are. Geek. Now, I am hoping to use this inevitable usual suckery to work for me instead of against. We'll see. Check her out.

Missed it, But...

2007-09-15T12:48:00.000-05:00

I missed Recipe Wednesday. I suck. In my defense however, I was moping about, pouting and throwing tantrums like a two year old. You probably wouldn't have wanted to try any recipe I came up with at that time any how. It would have been something like this:

Life Hates Erin Pie

Ingredients:

1 stolen dirt bike
1 broke phone
1 lost necklace
1 busted up car
1 stolen laptop
Any other manure, poo, dookie, & shiz that you happen to have laying around
1 Erin

Directions:

In a big pot (maybe canner size?), combine all ingredients until they become heartbreakingly devastating & soul crushing.
Pour contents on top of Erin until she cries.
Enjoy!

Who wants to eat that really? No one, that's who. Definitely better that I just skipped over Wednesday and moved right along as if nothing ever happened.

I'll make it up to you though my cheeky little monkeys. How you ask? Ha, with this little ditty of a recipe that I made up this morning for my darling Marnie. She and Ethan have been sick all week and as a result, neither has had the desire to eat anything. This morning however my curly haired little girl asked for chocolate cookies. I don't happen to keep those on hand... actually not even sure if such exists outside of her sugar crazed mind, but I wanted to oblige. The only problem was that Troy took my car to work, so I had no way of going to the store. Not that it really mattered though. Even if I could have got there, I could not have bought anything. We have begun a new budget and the amount of money allotted to food would only get me a bag of lima beans and a half eaten jar of pickles. Not that the budget really mattered though either because I am inherently lazy and probably would not have gone regardless. So, as I do aim to please, I started rummaging through the cupboards to see what I could make up.

This recipe is based on one of my FAVORITES as a kid. Every time there was a bake sale at school and I somehow miraculously had a quarter, I would order me up a couple of No Bake Cookies. We did not have cookies at home. No sweets really. My Mom was of the mentality that if it didn't contain wheat germ it didn't belong in the house. Which is why the No Bake in my mind is synonymous with f.u.n.

Moving on... You may or may not know that Celiacs can not eat oats. There are some out there that claim to be gluten free. I find this dubious however and choose to not partake. I cannot quite wrap my head around how oats can be grown without the presence of wheat. To each his own however. But if you get intestinal cancer because you never met a bowl of oatmeal that you didn't like, don't come crying to me. I will run. This oat fact has always kept me away from making No Bakes, because really what could you use instead? Anything you happen to find in you pantry is what. This is what I came up with:

Throw It In There! No Bake Cookies

Ingredients:

1 3/4 cups white sugar
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup of butter (I didn't have any, so I used olive oil - it worked, but I'm pretty sure butter would have been better)
4 TBS unsweetened cocoa powder
3/4 cup peanut butter
3 cups shredded coconut
2 cups peanuts
1 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla extract

Directions:

In a medium saucepan, combine sugar, butter, milk and cocoa. Bring to a boil and cook for about two minutes. Remove from heat and mix in remaining ingredients. Place heaping spoonfuls onto wax paper and allow to cool for what seems like forever as your child screams 'But I want it Nnnooowwww!' Try to ignore the urge to rip the skin from your face.

They turned out well. The chocolate stained footie pajamas that I will spend the next two hours treating, rinsing, scrubbing, swearing at & repeat do well to prove it.

Something must change.

2007-09-13T15:37:00.000-05:00

After the dirt bike scenario the other evening, Troy and I got to ponder our situation. Over the past two months or so, we have had a lot of damage come to our personal belongings. So many things in fact that it has become kind of spooky. For example - the laptop I wrote about in an earlier post being stolen and a window to Troy's truck being smashed in. I lost a necklace that meant a lot too me and smashed my phone to bits. Another instance that I have not previously mentioned is my car. Troy was driving it home from work the other night and hit a raccoon. It completely busted up (beyond saving) my grill and dented the front. We also have a little projector that we use to play movies on our wall for our Friday Family Fun Night every week... Ethan tipped it off the table and broke some of the front off. My point? That is a lot of things to break in matter of a few weeks, no?

We have come to the conclusion that this is no set of circumstances or plain coincidence. Our attention and affections have been misdirected lately and we better get our acts together.

It has always been such a difficult task for us to decide where in time we actually belong. There is one huge part of Troy and I that want to step back and enjoy simpler lives. Enjoy our family and the pure pleasure of being with each-other no matter what it is that we are actually doing. We love this side of our personalities and we are constantly attempting to widen that aspect in our daily walk. The other side however is pulled by the modern trends and the ever so persuasive need for stuff. Troy and I are in our twenties and obviously susceptible to advertising and the allure of 'keeping up with the Joneses. I can't say that I like this part so much.

I am beginning to believe that all of these crazy events are happening to grab our attention. We have come to a point where we have to make a decision as to path we wish follow. We can't keep doing this. Not only because I want to lead a well purposed life, but also because I am scared shitless that my house is going to be hit by a cyclone. Or that my car will some how roll into the lake and drown.

I think I am going to sell my phone. I cannot even get that much for it - now that stupid Apple lowered the price on them, but it would be more of a symbolic gesture anyhow. I don't even like to use it now - I am so afraid that I will drop it and the face will shatter again. Troy says not to be hasty, but I really want to go back to my pre stuff days.

Troy is not going to replace his computer either. We are going to share mine. I will just have to trust him not to hurt my baby, I mean, er, my computer. BUT, just in case he somehow sets it ablaze by leaving it too close to the coffee maker or some such other absurd happening takes place - I now have rental insurance.

suckety suckety suck.

2007-09-10T18:22:00.000-05:00

I was planning on sitting down this evening and telling you all about Marnie's first day of preschool and the wonderful weekend that followed. A weekend that included a lovely visit with my Dad, apple picking, a new growing area for the chicks that is not in the house, my first attempt at canning and the the building of our new chicken house.

But now I'm not going to. Why? Because I'm pissed.

This evening the local police were due to come out and run the VIN on Troy's recently purchased vehicle. We bought a 2005 Honda CRF from a Honda dealership in a nearby town ( I won't write their name yet, since I am not sure how they will handle this situation). Troy loves his bike. He lourves his bike. His dreams are filled with dirt bikety goodness.

Troy's bike is a stolen bike. They sold us a STOLEN dirt bike.

This has to be the most mortifying experience I have ever been part of. Three cop cars in our driveway for over an hour and then a huge impound truck to haul the bike away. All of our neighbors could see it take place. We look like thieving criminals.

More later. I cannot formulate thoughts properly at the moment.

Gluten Free Recipe Wednesday

2007-09-05T13:30:00.000-05:00

The thing about not eating is this - it makes you pretty hungry. Since I am unable to actually eat food however, I figure I might as well write about it. And here, the very first Gluten Free Recipe Wednesday is born. A day for all you Celiacs out there to dine like I wish I could.

Troy became obsessed with cooking about three years back when we moved from South up to my neck of the woods. Maybe it was homesickness, but Troy began to read every book article and website on Cajun and Creole cooking. He began concocting elaborate meals from scratch that would make your mouth salivate with a single sniff. His level of skill increased in all things culinary and he began to expand into other genres. Cajun and Creole were his passions though and remain so until this day. Soon after Troy had begun to explore the culinary arts and actually become quite fantastic, I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease. This was a crushing blow to my husband, who felt like he was being told he could never see his best friend again. Not only could I not eat wheat anymore, but essentially it could not even be in our home due to fear of cross contamination. To be honest, when diagnosed, I had never even heard of the word gluten. Where as Troy was proving himself to be quite genius in the kitchen, I was more of what you would call a culinary retard. Once grasping the concept of living without wheat, we were devastated. So many meals that we loved were made using flour. The entire base of almost every cajun recipe is a roux which is essentially flour and oil. But for one's health, you must do what you must. We endured a few weeks of chicken breasts with no sauces to accompany them and steamed vegetables with no seasoning. Salads. We tried out various corn pastas and "crackers" from our local health food store which all tasted like cardboard and the cost of which jeopardized Marnie's college fund. This just would not do. We really enjoy good food and there just wasn't any out there for me. We would just have to stop wallowing in self pity and discover ways to make it for ourselves. And that is exactly what we did. Over the years we have created some awesome dishes that have met and exceeded every craving for foods that are otherwise forbidden to me. We have also made some things that were pretty nasty, but we'll just forget about those...

This week I thought that I would start with one of our family favorites, Lasagna. This is not SO much a gluten free recipe - it is more of an awesome dish that we made gluten free. Just a fantastic dinner to at to your family's repertoire. This is not just any lasagna mind you, it is absolutely the best tasting lasagna in the universe. I have served this dish to many, many guests and each time I get raves of it being the most amazing they have ever eaten ( "It's better than my Mom's, but please don't tell!) and I am asked for the recipe a ton. If you do not have a wheat allergy, just substitute the Tinkyada Brown Rice noodles for regular. It is just damn good.

* If you make this for your family, please leave me a comment and let me know how your thoughts!
** The original recipe was given to us by our Aunt Dixie (thanks Dixie!!) and adapted, amended, and substitutions made to make it our own Family Lasagna.

Our Family Lasagna Recipe

Ingredients:

1 pound Sweet Italian Sausage (I buy the stuffed sausages and cut the casings)
1 pound ground beef.
1 onion
1 green pepper
4 Large cloves of garlic
1 (28 ounce) can crushed tomatoes
1 (14 ounce) can tomato paste
1 (14 ounce) can tomato sauce
1/2 cup water
2 TBS white sugar
1 TBS dried basil
1 tsp. Italian Seasoning
1 TBS salt
1/4 tsp. black pepper
2 cups fresh parsley
Tinkyada GF Brown Rice Noodles (of course you can substitute, but I personally believe these to be the best)
16 ounces ricotta cheese
1 egg
1/2 tsp. salt
12 ounces mozzarella cheese
1 cup grated parmesan cheese

Directions:

In your lasagna pan, fill with warm water and set your lasagna noodles to soak. By the time the sauce is ready, your noodles will be perfect for cooking (drain and set aside before assembly).

In a dutch oven, cook sausage, beef, onion, bell pepper & garlic over medium heat until well browned. Stir in all tomatoes and water. Season with sugar, basil, Italian seasoning, 1 TBS salt, pepper and 1/2 the amount of parsley. Simmer, covered for 1 1/2 hours, stirring occasionally.

In a mixing bowl, combine ricotta cheese with egg, remaining parsley and 1/2 tsp. salt

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

To Assemble:

Begin layers with sauce, noodles, ricotta mixture, cheese, more sauce & then parmesan cheese. Add additional layers. Top with cheese.

Cover with foil - to prevent sticking, spray foil with cooking spray or use toothpicks to make a 'tent'.

Bake in preheated oven for 35 minutes. Remove foil and bake for additional 25 minutes or until cheese has turned a nice color of golden brown. Let cool 15 minutes before serving.

Enjoy!!

homestead.

2007-09-04T20:36:00.000-05:00

I am becoming enthralled with the idea of homesteading. Until two days ago I had no idea what the term meant nor implied. If asked I would have come up with some partially correct, but mostly incorrect answer about going out west and staking claim of a plot of land. I am an absolute moron when it comes to history. Homesteading today in fact has nothing to do with claiming land from the government, but rather the idea of living in a simpler fashion and more self sufficiently. People have varying ideas about the subject, but that is okay generalization I think.

When we moved into the country a year ago, I had no idea that this idea of homesteading was exactly what we were drawn to. Little by little we have simplified our existence. We have tried to become more green. Nothing drastic mind you, just little things to slowly erase our footsteps. Out went the 409 and in came the vinegar. We took a stand against the usage of paper towels and started using cloth. We do much of our clothes drying by line. Tiny changes that will hopefully lead to bigger ones later. We now of course have the two goats. They are useless really but quite cute. The chickens will do us a lot of good. Eggs, meat, fertilizer and entertainment. I have more dreams of adding other small animals to our growing hobby farm to provide us with additional food and fiber. We have to stay pretty small scale due to the cost of housing and enclosure for our animals. At this time, we rent and therefore do not wish to spend a lot of money on fences and barns on someone else's property. Hopefully one day, after much scrimping and saving, we will be able to buy some land of our own and develop it the way we wish.

Here is the huge gaping, red flag waving, hole in my beautiful dream: I love stuff. I am ashamed to report this, but sadly it is true. Ebay is one of my best friends. Target and I are old chums. Take a look in my crafting hutch and you will witness my deepest shame. Stuff, oddly enough, costs money - which we need to be saving. Being thrifty just does not seem like as much fun as shopping does. But alas... I am going to change this around. Here I make a pledge to put as much effort into saving every extra penny and working towards a larger goal and a better purpose as I now do in finding the latest and greatest (insert needless item here). This is going to be a real struggle for me I am sure, but I am sure I can do it. I have saved at least twenty bucks yesterday and today by making Troy fast with me. Maybe we could stay on it for the next five years.

chickens.

2007-09-03T19:31:00.000-05:00

I love these chickens. They are crazy and full of spunk. I threw an apple core into their brooder and they went absolutely bonkers. All of them running around trying to steal peel from other's mouths. All except for one that is. I think that one of my chicks might die. I noticed this morning that one of the littlest chicklets was just standing around with her eyes shut when much activity buzzed around her. The brood would run into her and she would just sort of stumble a bit. Her doings were just odd and most definitely stood out amongst all the chaos. I cannot even fathom what exactly is wrong with this little chicken - seeing as I have no experience with raising poultry. I decided to separate her from the others for some time. This thought presented it's own set of problems. I have plenty of boxes laying about, but I do not have duplicates of the other necessities like waterers, feeders and most crucial, a heat lamp. I started to scrummage through the basement and put together this little birdie bubble:

It will have to do. The housing itself is a miniature greenhouse for starting seeds. There are slats in the top to allow in air. She will be dining off Japanese soy sauce plates and her heat source is coming at her via a nasty old heating pad. I keep checking to make sure it is not too hot in there, but it seems to be fine. The bird seems to be perking up a little also. I guess we will just have to wait and see.

o-so-tired chickens napping after The Great Apple Core pursuit

Not knowing what types of birds I have is driving me insane. There are at least five different varieties of hens plus the double mystery freebie that Murray McMurray Hatchery threw in. I spent all day yesterday next to the brooder with my laptop, comparing pictures of breeds as chicks with my own. I did not have much luck. I am pretty sure that I have 5 Buff Orphingtons which is awesome. I really wanted some Buffs, but the site stated they were all sold out. And I am a gazillion percent positive that two of them are Turkens. After that, well I just have no idea. I am really confused by the 'rare' extra. I looked at a slew of photos, but could not tell. I hate surprises. I hate not knowing.

Mystery Chick

Enough about the chickens, let's talk about me not eating. Well, I am not eating. The end.

I really thought this fast would be a bit more of an interesting topic, but if all continues on in the way of today, then nope. Troy started it with me today too. He also has nothing to report.

theft sucks.

2007-09-01T16:09:00.000-05:00

This morning was our first big School Shopping day and we were all pretty excited for it. We headed out early to the outlets in Michigan City where they were having a crazy sidewalk sale. It was nearly impossible to find a parking spot and we ended up about seven miles from the stores (exaggeration). Troy called during our hike back to the outlets to find out where he could meet us. He had given a meeting at work earlier that morning and was ready to join in our fun spending adventure - pretty sure he just wanted to insure that I did not blow the paycheck. We set off from kid store to kid store and could not believe the insanity. The lines for checkout at any particular retail establishment would circle the perimeter and sometimes continue out the door. We decided to choose two stores that were worth waiting in line for and then get the hell out of there. I am full of certainty that it will be a long time before I can convince Troy boy to come out shopping with us for clothing again. While standing in line at the baby Gap, I saw the cutest little rompers that I just had to have for Ethan. I motioned to Troy to come and take my place so that I could go and find his size. Apparently the four (not together) women who were behind me in line did not see our switcheroo and started to yell at him. What do you think you are doing? Who the hell do you think you are? No mind to the fact that the poor man is standing there with a baby in a stroller and a pint sized Marnie. After explaining to the angry shoppers that he had merely taken my place in line and no he had not 'cut', one of the women said 'Well, you can obviously see what lead me to my thinking'. Yes, of course. No apology is necessary then. Crazy 'ol bat. Troy made me leave then. We went and had a nice lunch that involved Ethan trying to climb onto the table and throw chicken wing bones at our heads. There was even time afterwards to head home so that Troy could change his shirt before work (he is the messiest of the three kiddies). I drove him back to where his car was parked. It was like shit-cream frosting on a poopy cake. One of the windows had been smashed in. Troy's two month old black MacBook was gone. Gone. Stolen. Now, after a couple hours to calm down, I am still uncertain as to why they broke into the truck. It really is a pile of junk. Last year we blew out a tire and still have the rusty hubcapped replacement on there. If you look in the driver's window, you will surely notice that the middle console is completely missing and that there are five dollar seat covers (not in good shape) hiding the cigarette burned seats from the previous owners. We had thought about selling this truck a couple of months back, but decided not to waste our money on advertisement for we were relatively sure that no one would want it. The only reason Troy was even driving it is because his Saturn is not running. I am giving you all a stellar impression of our choice in automobiles I know. Who could possibly have thought that there was something worth stealing in there? How did they know there was and $1800 laptop hidden under the seat? I am certain (and when I say certain, I mean not at all certain) that it has to be someone Troy works with. He had given a meeting using his computer earlier that morning and then went off to meet us. And how does such a thing happen in the middle of the day? Due to the crapiness of the car, we only had the minimum coverage on the car. Insurance won't even pay for the window let alone the computer. We are screwed unless they happen to find the person who stole it. And I am sure that never happens.

broody babies.

2007-08-31T20:39:00.000-05:00

Our chicks arrived today!! They are so cute! This morning we received a call from the Post Office to come and pick them up. Off we trotted into our little town's mini Post Office; Marnie accompanied me inside. As soon as we stepped in the door we could hear the sweetest little chirps. Marnie was so excited as she told the lady at the desk what we were there for. We got them home and into their little mock breeder (which we made out of the kid's plastic pool). They adjusted easily and nicely. You would never know that they had spent the last 48 hours being bounced around the back of various mail trucks. I was a bit worried that they would not arrive all healthy, but I was wrong. I could not convince Marnie of this fact though. She sat on the table with the chicks for a good part of the afternoon - exclaiming that a chick has died every time one would close it's eyes to sleep. She is kind of obsessed with it actually. It's a little freaky.

Besides the obvious that we live on a farm that is mostly vacant (with the exception of the goats.) and it needs some life, I mostly got the chickens for eggs. I ordered the brown egg laying variety package. Yes, there is such a thing. The company that I purchased them from guarantees at least five varieties plus they throw in one free rare chick to boot. The kicker however is that they do not tell you what kind of chickens they sent you. They keep no record of it either. So now it is a waiting game. I have tried to compare them with pictures of the breeds, but it isn't really working. I have no idea. 26 chickens. There are two that I could identify because they are from some freak breed. Turkens are what they are named and they scare the bejesus out of me. There are no feathers on their necks at all and as adults they resemble those crazy creatures from 'Dark Crystal'. I hate anything that is hairless - like those icky hairless cats. Ew. There is a white one and a black one and they totally give me the heebie jeebies. It's too bad really. The rare chick is completely cute. I have no idea what it is either. I don't think that there is any assurance that it will be female like the rest of my gals, so I am sure it will be a rooster.

shmud.

2007-08-30T20:42:00.000-05:00

The first day of the Master Cleanse was a little more unpleasant than I had imagined. And what I had imagined was pretty horrific to begin with. The day began with 32 ounces of water and two teaspoons of sea salt. It was like forcing yourself to eat ocean. I was pretty sure that I was going to be unable to keep it down. After the nausea passed, it was pretty smooth sailing for the next few hours. I made the lemon tincture and was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't absolutely terrifying although pretty damn spicy due to the cayenne pepper. I have a pretty high tolerance for hot too, but this drink kicked my ass. Although to be quite honest, my measurements could be quite off the mark for what the recipe actually calls for. Each drink calls for 1/10 teaspoon of cayenne pepper. What the hell is that? Who has that small of a measuring spoon? I just kind of threw some in there and hoped for the best. Next time I will have to ask Marnie if I can borrow Barbie's kitchen set. The kids and I had a park play-date with our Mother's & More group and I brought my 'juice' along. I really felt no hunger, but somewhere between running after Ethan so he didn't get run down by the black impala and running after Ethan so he wouldn't fling himself from the top of the twister slide, I was hit by a monster migraine. I haven't felt that kind of pain since pregnant with Marnie. Back in those days I was plagued with the brain splitting terrors almost every day. At least then I could take Tylenol - which obviously did no actual good as it is a pointless excuse for a pain killer, but did at least provide the benefit of acting like a placebo to my easily persuaded mind. While on this fast, you are to take no medicine nor vitamin of any kind, so basically I was screwed. I made through the park excursion, gritting my teeth and wanting to rip the eyeballs from my sockets. Finally it ended and I fled home. Once there, Troy smugly informed me that it must be the lack of caffeine. For weeks prior to starting this fast, I have been attempting (pleading really) to get Troy to join me. He actually wanted - if he could be allowed to drink his pot of coffee a day. To me that was against the point of the entire detox. I too drink coffee and diet coke and I was not going to let that stop me. What a freaking baby. Cold turkey is the way to go in by book, so that's the way I went. And it went not well obviously. I was splayed out, face down, on the couch for the remainder of the afternoon in too much pain to cry. Finally I had to pull myself together in order to accompany Marnie to her Preschool orientation. I cannot even tell you much of went on there. I know that there was something with paste and Marnie throwing a fit because it required her to dirty her fingers, but I was pretty much blacked out at that point from excruciating pain. Good thing I was randomly pointing my camera places and clicking the button. I managed to capture snippets of what was a banner day in the world of Marnie. At some point in the evening Troy mentioned that he indeed would like to do the cleanse with me if I would only allow him a couple of days to gradually wean himself from the coffee. Did this mean that I could take drugs to rid myself of the internal hell fire that was set ablaze inside my skull? Yes. There was a pause, oh so brief, where I debated whether I should agree to this plan, for it meant that I also agreed with the fact that I am caffeine's bitch and even worse, that Troy was right. Within a mere fraction of a second, Marnie was ripped from her pint size student chair and I was running with her down the wooded path to our car. Her cries didn't even deter me. It was only orientation after all. Within an hour of returning home and taking some Motrin (an actual drug that works) I began to feel human again. And like a bad mom, but I promised that tomorrow she could don her pouffiest dress in which would provide her with hours of twirling joy. All was forgiven.

Today was smoother. Although not on the fast, I am continuing to not consume an ounce of caffeine in preparation for the restart which has been scheduled for this coming Monday. No headaches either which is rather promising Troy is doing better than expected. He has only consumed one and a half cups of coffee (so he says) today and is not nearly as angry as I assumed he would be. I had suspected that these four days of withdraw for him would be much like the period of time in the morning between waking and that first sip of muddy bliss. No one wants to be near the man at that time. Just ask Marnie, her lip will quiver as her eyes dart looking for the nearest corner in which to hide. We'll see how he does once he's off the bean completely.

as always, amazed.

2007-08-28T14:50:00.000-05:00

Last week was a little rough in the world of Erin. After a fun family affair in Kalamazoo, I discovered that my most adored 'Return to Tiffany' heart lock pendant was missing from my neck. Troy gave this little slice-o-bliss to me a few months ago and I have never once removed it. I knew that I would have to soon, for the once sparkling silver had become dark with tarnish, but not yet. As much as I love this necklace and the sentiment behind it, there was one drawback - the 'lock' feature was somewhat real. The handle could be pulled up and out allowing the pendant to be released from it's chain. A pretty cool feature in general, but maybe not so handy with toddler fingers constantly prying at every article on my being. I can only imagine that this is what took place that weekend. It had happened before, a couple of times in fact, where I had been holding my little man and YANK! Off went my little silver heart into his sticky little paw. I tried to teach him not to touch it, but as any Mom knows who owns anything shiny and valuable - it's pretty much pointless. I have always felt the tug before though. I mean you really need to put a bit of grunt into the pull in order for the heart to open. This time however I felt nothing. In fact I have no idea exactly when I even lost it. After the 90 minute drive home and an additional many hours, I finally noticed the absence of weight around my neck. It could have been anywhere.

After my usual panic freak out - which I am prone to, I emailed the aunt who's house we had stayed and explained what had happened. No luck. No one could find it after much searching. We had been many places. It was gone. I felt very upset with myself.

Five days later I dropped my iphone and the glass shattered into an unusable hundred or so pieces. After calling Apple and dealing with an extremely unsympathetic rep, I felt really pissed off to be frank. I have been loyal to Apple for many, many years. My love affair started with a small SE when I was seven years old. Computers were just entering the school systems for the first time and people were beginning to save for one for home. My Dad, a gadget lover and enthusiast, brought home our first Mac. I'm not sure why he he was swayed by the little desktop computer, but once it sat upon his desk, I became a Mac girl for life. As with many girls I am sure, my Dad was the TOPS. He knew everything about everything and if he said Macs were the best then I'll be damned if you are going to sway me otherwise. Every week of my childhood I would go to school with smug satisfaction and outrageous excitement over the fact that THIS week my Dad was going to win the lotto and next week I would be getting my teachings in Jamaica. I debated my classmates and earnestly put up my $2 weekly allowance on a bet that Ross Perot would be our next President of these United States. Of course he would. Although these days I do seek out my very own un persuaded opinion on most things, my love of the Mac has never faltered. My Dad and I will spend entire weekend visits tapping away at our own respective MacBooks, talking of this and that in which we have learned or stumbled across. If it is of Apple, we probably own it or at the very least covet it greatly. As was with the iphone. We oohed and ahhed over every little short that was made available on Apple's website. We spoke over it's grandness over the phone. It must be ours. And it was. Dad got hold of one the day it was released - I had mine a couple of weeks later. The first day was lovely - learning all of the quirky new features. Sadly, my affection was short lived. There are many things lacking that 'could have been' in the iphone, but of course it really is a revolutionary phone and I don't feel right going on and on about what it is lacking. My first problem was actually encountered by what it does have - a really deep and thin headphone jack. One of the reasons that I was so excited about the phone was that now my cell and ipod would be one. I would be able able to plug my phone into my car through the aux and listen as I had with my ipod. Wrong. Any normal auxiliary cable will not fit and as there is no Apple store in the middle of nowhere where I happen to live for me to buy the adapter - I am without. I can order it online, but why do I have to?? The question is mute anyhow with the shattered face plate and/or the $250 repair price tag. After calling Apple, I also contacted Apple retail stores in both Grand Rapids and Chicago. Same answer, no. No. No. My Dad, after a short visit, took the phone back to Milwaukee with him and tried a face to face approach. Nope.

In walks Troy. After me telling him that there was absolutely no point whatsoever in calling Apple as there was no chance of persuading them to fix my phone for free, he did so anyway. I am not sure where this confidence or abandonment of fear of others comes from, but I wish I had it. Even a little bit of it. Deal done. 20 minutes of this and that Apple is sending me a brand new phone. What? Okay.... I am absolutely not going to complain. An hour later, the phone rings and it is my Aunt Jean - my cousin, who did not even know that my pendant was missing, found the heart and had wondered if it were mine. Why? Because Troy had my initials engraved on the back. Wonders that boy is, pure wonders. It's a good thing to because I was having nightmares over having to speak badly about Apple. Pure blasphemy.

Keeping with the theme of my world of order being restored, tomorrow I am starting a fast. The Master Cleanse / Lemonade Diet / Detox whatchamacallit to be more exact. Fourteen days without any food is what I have to look forward to and I am sure it will be interesting, at least mildly. Updates to come if I have energy to put fingers to MacBook.

sadly, no.

2007-08-26T20:17:00.000-05:00

As I have previously mentioned, I recently joined a Mom's group. Thus far, although my experience is limited, I have enjoyed the experience. I like that there are no judgments attached to whether you choose to work or stay home. If those two groups can coexist within a play-group setting than the club must at least be a little evolved and adequately open minded. I have no real feelings on the subject. I know I should - seeing as I am a stay-at-home-mom and all. I just cannot muster up an opinion. Opinions require reasoning, which I just do not have. If asked, I could probably name at least a dozen reasons as to why I choose to stay home with my kids. They would all be true mostly, but the real reason that I dedicate so much time and effort into the raising of my babes is that when five months pregnant with Marnie, I was fired from my job and no one else would take me. It just did not occur to me to to go forth and seek out a job once the baby was born. It is not principles you see, it is pure happenstance. I wonder if I would feel different about my position if I had made a conscious decision to leave my place of employment and put all of my time, intellect and resources into the care and safe keeping of the child I was to birth. Would I feel some great sense of purpose? Would I feel more accomplished at this moment and every other where my child is praised for their pure splendidness or would I feel deeper and more frequent pangs of guilt every time one of them acts like a big wad of snot that you just want to ditch? As it stands now, I don't feel that I am solely credited for either. I did not, as I mentioned, make this choice for myself. That thought also raises another in which I ponder where my falling into homemaker status ends and where my conscious choice to remain so begins. Obviously I could have returned to a job if I wished. I did not. I do not. If that was a stand I took, where are all of the convictions behind it?

flying crayon.

2007-08-26T19:57:00.000-05:00

After sobbing profusely for what seemed like years, Marnie finally quieted. She had just been punished for drawing, for the second day in a row, on the white wall with a deep purple crayon. Today there was an encore performance which covered the little green desk, the entirety of the maple coffee table and my latest crewel project. I sat down beside her and asked why she did not learn her lesson after yesterday's wall art punishment? 'It wasn't me. The Purple crayon really wanted to fly up to the wall and I said NO! My Mommy will give me a spanking if you do that! But she wouldn't listen and just went crazy.' With that she looked down at her knees and slowly shook her head from side to side as if befuddled by the crayon who would not listen to her. How could her favorite color do her so wrong?

tornado.

2007-08-25T17:11:00.000-05:00

Our town was hit by a tornado. Branches flew everywhere and apples from our tree were chucked at the house. The lake grew waves to heights of 3 feet - which are huge seeing as the 'lake' is merely a fishing hole that can easily be swam across. The kids and I spent the better half of an afternoon hiding out in our stanky basement. Our house made it through unscathed, but the storm put in motion a series of events that can only be described as, well, not cool.

The power went out. This happens a lot out here. This was probably the sixth time it has been out this year. No electricity is bad enough, but our water pump is also run on power which means we also had no water. AND did you know that you need water to flush a toilet? Four people in a house with no lights, water or bathroom facilities make for a non appealing time. At least it happened at night when the kids were already in bed. Too bad it was still out when they got up the next morning and had to pee.

Due to the storm, a bird flew into the garage. We tried to shoo him out but unfortunately we left the door to the house open and the bird decided that our kitchen would be more fun to escape to.

As Troy was chasing the bird around the inside of our house, I decided that it would be smart to charge my laptop and cell in my car so that we could at least listen to music, check our email and let the kids watch a movie. My phone slipped from my hand on the way as I ducked flying fowl and the face smashed into a hundred pieces. Did I mention that my cell is an iphone? I am still not recovered from the heated argument that followed with the Apple rep who nastily told me that they were not going to cover the damage by warranty and that it would cost me $250 to replace a six inch piece of glass.

Meanwhile, Troy was able to grab the bird and release it outside. I guess the bird wasn't happy with that and quickly flew back into the garage. As soon as I ceased pounding my fists and feet against the floor and wailing over my phone like the toddler I truly am, I went out to finish plugging in the laptop to the car. As I stepped out, WOOSH, the bird flew over my house and back into the house.

Still no power.

I dressed the kids and threw them into the car. Being anywhere other than home was my deepest desire. Troy went to work catching the bird. Again. And once again he released it, but not without another escape into the garage. Eff it. We went out for breakfast.

The day did get a little better from there. My Dad came for a visit and took my mind off of not being able to poop in peace. We dinked around town trying to take up hours. Eventually the electricity returned a full 24 hours after it went out.

Today is much nicer indeed. I tried out another brownie recipe for the bakery and am pretty sure that it's 'the one'. I still need to tweak a few minor details, but it was definitely delish. I am going to try another batch tonight and see what Troy thinks. While they baked, I organized my craft hutch and made a little fun hair bow holder for Marnie's room. I now have the table space to properly set up my new embroidery machine and learn the ropes. Maybe I will get to that tonight.

Maybe not though because I have started to learn yet another craft and I might be too engrossed with that. I am so easily swayed by new projects. I do not posses the power to say no....

Marnie was bit by the art bug today also. She took it out on my wall. Although less than enthusiastic with her choice of canvas, I do have to say this is some of her best work.

October come August.

2007-08-22T13:42:00.000-05:00

We moved to our little Farming town last October and almost immediately I began researching Mom organizations in the area. I was determined to not be held captive within our home as I was in Kalamazoo. I adore staying at home with my kids, however with the lack of coworkers and such it can be a very lonely occupation. Add a side note of living in the middle of nowhere and two kids who can barely talk and you have an equation that leads to one crazy Mama. I needed friends who were in similar situations and as soon as we were semi settled, I went seeking. I found two right off the bat and contacted both. As it was October and all, each invited me to attend their respective Halloween parties with Marnie and Ethan. It sounded like fun, so I dressed up my little bumble bee and headed out. I'm not shy exactly, but I cannot tell you how much I hate going into situations with people I do not know. I am just bad at it. I am always super quiet and am racking my brain for things to say that won't sound amazingly stupid. Since not saying stupid things is next to impossible for me, I usually stand there and pretend to be really involved in whatever the kids are doing and only speak when asked a direct question. I wish that I was less socially retarded, but eh... Working on it sounds like too much effort. So, the first party was a bitter disappointment in a general way. Most of the Moms were older than me and had the 'Mom look' that I desperately try to avoid. Only one woman bothered to introduce herself and talk to me out of the two dozen or so that were there and as she did so all I could think about was running away. She told me about how supportive the club was for stay-at-home mothers (working mothers are not welcome) and that it literally is her life line. I looked around and decided that this was not a life line that I wanted. The second group party that we visited however was fantastic. The moms were young and trendy and actually spoke to one another. They made us feel welcome and Marnie had so much fun playing with all of the children. I knew that I wanted to belong to this group and I took the registration home to fill out. Sadly, there it sat on my counter for days and then weeks and then, actually I have no idea what ever happened to it. Winter came and went and like I had swore I would not do, we holed up in our little house praying for spring to arrive.

I am not sure what reminded me of the group or why I was so suddenly motivated to join, but I did so about six weeks ago. There are many events to attend but we haven't gone to any. Something always comes up to prevent our attendance. Every Wednesday during the summer there is a park day play-date and I have honestly planned to attend each one for the past six weeks. One of the kids always wakes up sick the day of or Troy forgets to leave the car-seats and we are stranded. This week, due to heavy rains, the park was exchanged for this funky venue called Liberty Zone. As the word 'zone' might imply, it is an area filled with tunnels and climbing and kids screaming. I had never heard of this place before and after inquiring about it's location, was surprised to find out that it is within a Baptist church. It is also a mere six minute drive from our home. We made it this morning and spent a fun filled two and a half hours in the wackiest church around the corner in their free indoor playground thingy. The kids played and hopefully little budding friendships began to develop. I as well met some neat moms and hopefully I too will make some friendships. We'll see. I am not so great at getting those going either. If nothing else we will always have Liberty Zone.

peeps.

2007-08-21T19:49:00.000-05:00

Oooohh... I just ordered my chicks today! They are due to arrive next week Wednesday thru Saturday. Can you believe they actually arrive by the United Postal Service? That is crazy. I am a farmer now via the internet. I ordered a brown egg variety pack. Just like KFC. They ensure a varying brood of at least five types. The company also throws in a free 'rare breed' chick if you are so inclined. I am thankyouverymuch. I've never raised chickens before, so this should be an interesting Fall. Especially because they have to live in a tub within the house for a couple of weeks and then in a pen in the garage for about five more. In about 20 weeks though I am going to feast on an omelet to be envious of.

gluten sucks.

2007-08-21T09:57:00.000-05:00

Over the Fourth of July holiday of 2005, I read a book that changed my life forever. After the first chapter of Gluten Free Bible, I knew without a doubt that I had Celiac Disease and that my body was fighting itself (with dire consequences) because of wheat. I was devastated and yet a little trickle of excitement crept in from behind also because maybe, just possibly some of the problems I had been enduring were not normal...

Looking back now, I cannot believe I put up with all of the 'symptoms' that eventually lead me to conclude that I have a gluten allergy. I had a horrible case of insomnia and was barely sleeping at all, depression, I was losing hair, there were bumps all over my legs, I would bruise so badly that I was questioned about the relationship between Troy and I and of course the discomfort and embarrassment of bowel issues that almost all Celiacs experience. When bunched together, I am ashamed that I never sought a doctor's opinion to find out what the hell was wrong with me. As a teen I was diagnosed with a lactose intolerance which in turn I blamed for all of my bowel discomforts. I never thought to question it. The insomnia, bruising, hair loss and skin problems - my Mom had them also, so it was just assumed to be a hereditary problem (which of course it was - she has Celiac's disease also). This disease can be so hard to diagnose because the symptoms are not the same in every person every time. Many of the problems associated with this disease are also indicators of many other diseases and health issues. Gluten allergies are often misdiagnosed for Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Lactose allergies, Crohn's Disease and more. It was not until my Mom's stomach issues became so severe that cancer was feared and Celiac Disease was finally diagnosed.

I am in no way, intended or implied, an expert on Celiac Disease or gluten allergies. I simply am a girl who's body cannot handle wheat and I think it sucks. For those of you who do not have a problem with wheat, sit back and think about what items you eat that contain the ingredient... Of course there are the biggies such as bread and everything made with flour (pancakes, pastries,pasta, pretzels, etc.) but it is far more reaching than that. Flour is used to thicken so many foods that many dietary staples become untouchable - soups, gravies and sauces are almost all off limit. Wheat is a common ingredient in almost every convenience food and you can kiss all fast food goodbye.

The first few months with the disease were hard. Many people in my family, Troy included, were very doubtful of the disease. I was probably overreacting or misinformed... Celiac Disease was basically unknown. Who the hell is allergic to wheat? It was especially difficult for Troy to wrap his head around because he is a fantastic cook and would spend many hours a week cooking amazing Cajun and Creole dishes for his family to eat. Dishes his family could no longer eat because every single one of them contained this ingredient that we know had to consider poison. We had a pity party.

Eventually however, you begin to accept the new terms of your life. Health problems that you had been experiencing disappear as if by magic in the absence of wheat. When you do not discard this way of eating as you maybe would a fad diet, people around you begin to seek out information on their own and slowly choose to believe you or at the very least accept that you believe you. You begin to adjust your thinking and come to accept that eating salads for every meal is your new way of life.

But that sucks. Veggies are great, but I just cannot eat them for every meal, every day. Troy, no matter how hard he tried, could not stay away from the kitchen. The experimenting began. Over these couple of years, Troy and I have invented many dishes and tweaked many recipes so that meals could be eaten by me. A lot of the earlier tries were really disgusting. We have gotten better and now, we can make the most amazing meals and I would bet our goats that no one would ever guess that wheat was taboo in our home.

Our lives are now almost completely back to pre Celiac normalcy. I still obviously cannot order whatever I want in a restaurant or dive into Thanksgiving Dinner at my Aunt Jean's, however here in my home, we live normally. We have delicious pizza every Friday night during our Family Fun night. I bake cookies with my daughter and celebrate birthday's with yummy cake. I am lucky. I wish that for all people who suffer from this awful allergy. I hope that we can help.

little bit of veg.

2007-07-22T20:30:00.000-05:00

Today I was able to make my first meal using many ingredients from the garden. I know it is pretty late in the season, but my garden is not near what I hoped it to be. We were way too ambitious this year. I think our ambition however is quite understandable given the small plot-o-land we have had to work with in previous years. So small... When our eyes gazed upon the acre after acre of green goodness that we now call our yard, we were instantly hit with grandiose ideas of living off our land. Sense never hit us as we loaded a couple hundred dollars worth of plants and seeds into our car. Neither did it hit us as we planted said seeds into the massive rectangle of earth that we had taken us weeks to dig up. It finally occurred to us that possibly we may have taken on too much when the seedlings began to grow... and so did the weeds. I am a strong believer of growing organically. Unfortunately for me and my beliefs, I have no real knowledge of botany. I cannot tell what is an eggplant seedling and what is a pesky weed. Not wanting to pull up my precious plants, we let them all grow. My garden looks like crap frankly. I have tried to pull up weeds since, but they have taken over. I give up this year. Next year I will try again, but my mantra will be mulch, mulch, mulch.

Anyhoo, I finally was able to find a few veggies that have grown in my little weed jungle and made a very nice and very gluten free dinner. I am now waiting for Troy to come home and be impressed. We are having:

- Glumpkies rolled in purple cabbage (old family recipe and oh so delicious)
- Creamy garlic cauliflower mash
- Chunky coleslaw
- Sweet vinegar cucumbers
- New potato, green beans, and caper salad

It always tastes so much better when the goods come from your own backyard.

life.

2007-07-19T09:33:00.000-05:00

Time slips by lately. Scarily. One minute I am working diligently on preparation for a children's birthday party and the next two months has passed and I have yet to leave a post on all that has happened.

These few weeks will be the last I will have with both of my babies at home with me every moment of every day. I have put this thought at bay for the past year, not wanting to think about it too much due to it's soul crushing effects. Marnie will only be entering school for two days a week and only half days at that. I know that does not seem like such a big deal, but I have become so accustomed to being with her constantly and I cannot wrap my head around it being otherwise. I am sure the bigger issue here is of course her gradual move towards independence and the eventual demise of her now all encompassing need for me... but I am not ready to take that on. I prefer to take a baby step and focus now on how much I am going to miss her. I am going to miss her seven hours a week. Pathetic? Probably, but I don't care.

I am excited about the opportunity to spend more one on one time with Ethan. Ethan, although much more challenging on the health front, is extremely laid back and not nearly as demanding on my attention. While this can be a Godsend, it often means that he takes back-seat to his big sister. Marnie is big personality and Ethan chooses not to compete yet. Luckily however, Marnie also adores Ethan and gives him more attention than he could ever need and probably doesn't even desire. I am really looking forward to working on developing the relationship with Ethan that came so easy with Marnie and I when it was just the two of us. Ethan and I have never been just the two of us, so this situation I am sure will be positive for him and I.

On a completely dissimilar topic, I have been taken over by thoughts of Halloween lately. Odd. Last year, I had the desire to sew costumes for the kids, but I think perhaps I became lazy. I actually cannot recall what happened and why I didn't make them. All I know is that Ethan, being only 4 months old, did not have a costume at all and Marnie ended up with the only costume left in shop a week prior to the big night - a bumble bee. She was a cute bumble bee though. This year though, I am determined to produce amazing costumes on my own for both kids. I am no seamstress mind you, so I am going to start now. I have the feeling that this project might be a bit too much for my limited skills. We shall see. I ordered the patterns this morning and hopefully they will be here by next week. I have chosen to take on patterns by Tom Arma. For those who aren't familiar, Tom Arma designs the most amazing costumes for children. To buy one retail, you can expect to spend upwards of $80, which is ridiculous. Luckily for me and many others who could not possibly justify spending that crazy amount of cash on a costume that is only going to become ruined by pixie sticks, he also has designed a few select patterns for McCall's. So, there you go... I'll be updating I am sure.

whata pinata.

2007-06-03T16:33:00.001-05:00

I love pinatas. I have such fond memories of being little and going to birthday parties with candy filled donkeys hanging from strings. I never had one of my own - I have only had one birthday party and nada pinata. But I love them. I had decided that I would get one , but I had to change my mind once I began to dream of all the little 3 year olds trying to bash it open and then becoming increasingly frustrated when nothing happens, because you know, they're only 3. Hmmm, so I decided that I would make one and make it not so hard to break open. I could only find instructions to make them in the shape of a balloon. boring. Eventually I decided to make mini individual pinatas for each child to destroy. I have got the first few layers done and as soon as they are fully dry, I will be able to fill them up with goodies. Hopefully they are not too fragile to hold all the loot I have to go inside. I will be so mad. These bad boys have taken up a lot of my time. I need to figure out a creative way to display them at the party. They are so colorful and will make nice decorations. I had thought that I would hang them from a tree or something, but they ended up being much bigger than I had planned. Any ideas?

Troy made some Miso soup with prawns for lunch and it was so pretty I just had to take a picture. Delish!

in true fashion.

2007-06-03T14:06:00.000-05:00

Things I hate: Cartoon characters on clothing, tots dressed as if about to go man hunting in some sleazy dive bar, paying $45 for a dress for a toddler that will outgrow it within six months. I am not doing it anymore. I want to live simply and I want my children to do so also. Part of this, I believe, is to actually be a kid. You know, run, skip, play, be merry. I don't think kids get to do that too often anymore. Have you walked down a toy isle recently? The outfits on some of the dolls are outrageous! Once I dreamed of being glamorous like Barbie in all of her ball gowns and princess like outfits. Do girls still dream of being like her - only now wearing barely there outfits? I cannot even look at some of the other brands without blushing...

Anyway, I am not talking about this to merely complain. I have decided that I am not giving in and I am not going to allow my kids to be part of this hootchie kid culture. I will continue to make changes in our lifestyle to simplify and allow Marnie and Ethan to remain innocent for as long as possible.

I love the clothing styles for children from the 50's, 60's & 70's. Not all of them of course, but many. Over the past month or so (as Marnie is now outgrowing many of her outfits) I have been collecting vintage patterns in hopes of sewing most of Marnie's clothing from now on. I finally sat down to the machine to attempt my first, and I think it turned out pretty swell. I am not the greatest behind a sewing machine, but I did my best. I am sure I will improve as my clothing quest continues.

It is kind of hard to see in this picture. It is a jumpsuit from the seventies. She loves it. There is elastic at the waist and also at the top to hold it up. This was the first time I have ever done anything with elastic. The waist part did not turn out so picture perfect, so I decided to make a matching sash to tie around. It suited the jumper perfectly. I attached it on one side and then tied it on the other. It helps the garment stay up too. For my first project, I am pretty happy with it. I am going to attempt a dress from the 50's next. It seems a bit more difficult, so we will see... I also will need to learn to make button holes with my sewing machine. I wish I had been taught all of this when I was a girl. Why didn't I take home economics like my brother?

Our gardens are coming along so nicely. The plants are sprouting up all over. We are having some problems with rabbits already, but so far it is minimal. There is a huge rhubarb plant in one of the gardens that is so large and so beautiful that it was almost a shame to harvest it. But alas, it is one of my favorites, so chop, chop.
I made the most delicious Gluten Free Strawberry Rhubarb Shortcake Cobbler. It turned out so well that I feel I need to post the recipe and spread the gluten free love.

Serves eight.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

2 2/3 cup of Bob's Redmill Gluten Free all purpose flour
1/2 cup sugar
6 tablespoons sugar
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
10 tablespoons butter, cut into 1/4-inch pieces and chilled
1 1/3 cup heavy cream
1 pint strawberries, hulled and cut in halves
1 pound rhubarb, cut into 1 inch pieces
2 tablespoons butter melted
1/2 cup water

In a small sauce pan, combine rhubarb, 1/2 cup sugar and water. Bring to a boil, stirring occasionally. Reduce heat and allow mixture to reduce. Set aside.

In a large bowl, mix together the flour, 4 tablespoons sugar, baking powder and salt. Add chilled butter and cut into dry ingredients with a pastry cutter until crumbles. Add the cream and stir until all ingredients are combined.

Arrange strawberries in baking dish. Pour rhubarb mixture over strawberries. With a spoon, drop large globs of dough throughout the baking dish. Brush exposed dough with melted butter and sprinkle with remaining sugar. Bake for 35 minutes or until dough is golden brown.

Serve with whipped cream. yummy.

I'm pretty sure it tastes better since the rhubarb is home grown... doesn't everything though?

I am thinking that I might attempt a no sugar added version for the party next Saturday. My mother-in-law is diabetic and I like to have a special something for her during events where there are many temptations. She gets in tomorrow, so we'll see if she even likes rhubarb.

Look at all of these geese. I kind of hate geese for all the poopin' and such, but how can you hang on to the hate when they stroll through your yard with a couple dozen goslings?This picture is not very good. There were tons of them though and they were all cute. Damn geese.

paperbacks

2007-05-29T19:59:00.000-05:00

Have you ever heard of paperback swap? How did I not know of this site before now? Screw ebay! Now I can read to my little heart's desire for mere postage. Amazing. First on my list - another David Sedaris book, "Naked". I am on a kick that will not end until I have read them all I believe. I enjoyed the last one so much I was giddy while reading. That's a feat, turning the reader into a fit of giggles mid sentence. How can I resist? Thus far, since joining a mere 24 hours ago, I have already sent out five of my books and have three others due to go tomorrow. Hmmm, I must have good taste in books to be so popular, no?

much to do about much.

2007-05-29T14:49:00.001-05:00

Thursday evening, my Mom drove in from the city to pick up the kids. Troy and I enjoyed the evening together and had a movie marathon. It was fun, but we had planned on really celebrating our anniversary on Friday. I wish I had remembered to take a picture of the amazing breakfast that Troy cooked in celebration of us... He made the most beautiful gluten-free crepes stuffed with fresh strawberries and topped with whipped cream. yum. We then took off to look for goodies.

Every year, Troy and I buy an antique for our anniversary. We LOVE antiques, but even more than possessing them, we love to shop for them. Since moving here, we had not yet checked out any of the local shops, so we hit them all up on Friday. We don't usually have anything in mind. At least not collectively. I had thought a picnic suitcase with all the bits would be lovely. I'm not sure if Troy had any ideas beforehand - he definitely was not in sync with mine. Usually as we browse, we will stumble upon some item that is obviously for us. That day was no exception. We found this gorgeous chick hatchery from 1910. Awesome. The condition is amazing and it stands on legs, so it can be used as a table. We just fell for it as soon as we set eyes on it. Unfortunately for us, it was priced a bit out of range of the budget we had set, but we have decided to continue to set some cash aside each week until we can call it ours. You know, in the name of us. Uh, love it. I wish I had taken a photo to pine over.

After much shopping and a little buying, we came home and Troy once again returned to the kitchen. What a dinner.

Steamed lobster claws, bacon wrapped Cajun sea scallops, grilled king crab in tarragon butter, and gluten-free fried oysters. Freaking delicious. He continues to boggle the mind.

Saturday was Marnie's big 3. I missed my babies so much. It is so silly how much your heart can ache after kiddos when they have only been gone a couple of days. It was a lovely reunion though and Marnie was pretty excited about the many packages we brought with us. Per usual, her fave by far was the birthday ball. The main theme was a barbie pretend makeup set - in the middle hid a (sort of) working hair dryer.

Since we are throwing the kids a giant party, I went the route of an individual cake for the actual day. I had wanted to get her a heavily frosted cupcake, but when the only bakery in town is inside a Walmart, you have to lower your expectations. I found a little cake and then added an immense amount of pink frosting and sugar stars. She dug.

The kids and I headed to Kalamazoo on Sunday for a cousin's graduation party/pig roast. Yup. It was fine and all. People went a bit crazy with the hooch, but at least it was entertaining. Yesterday morning though, Ethan awoke with a 104 temp. He was difficult to rouse and simply not himself. We got him home quickly and made many efforts to bring down his temp. We were in constant contact with his doctor and were ready to head out to the hospital in a second if the situation became worse. It was so scary to see him that way. Finally his fever broke in late afternoon and he returned to his crazy self by evening time. Ethan is such a sweet thang. He managed to smile through most of the day... even as he sat in a bath with ice.Yesterday, in addition to a sick kid, we also had a trapped bird in our fireplace. Troy had sworn he had been hearing a ghost in the house for a couple of days. Well, no. It was just a bird. What gave it away? Maybe it was the BIRD knocking his beak against the glass of the fireplace. I swear I don't know what he would do if he lived alone. Anyway, Troy was able to get at it after a few hours of trying. It was fine. *

And then in another lovely dinner from the boy. My favorite in fact. I think the rice needs some tweaking and I could do without the k.r.a.b., but overall it was good and so nice of him to try.
He said that this was for me, but it was really for him... Gluten-free chocolate cake. I'll admit it was pretty good.
Today we are back to normal. No more birthdays or holidays. Well, that is until Ethan turns one next week. And did I mention that the mother-in-law is arriving in a few days? Yup. We have a christening party to attend in a couple of days also and I have yet to make a gift or even search for ideas. Oh, and the ladies' wedding in which the gift is far from complete. And those birthday banners that need to be made before the party... I'm screwed.

* Don't mind the crying man in the photo - for he is not actually crying, merely deathly allergic to grass spores. Spring is trying to off him.

craziness

2007-05-24T14:34:00.000-05:00

These past couple of weeks have been insane. Actually, this time of year is always insane in our family. Four years ago today, my handsome husband and I were married (Happy Anniversary honey!!!) and then three months later we were pregnant. Purposely pregnant, but maybe not planned so perfectly. Marnie was due to be born the day after our one year anniversary - she was instead born 2 days later on the 26th. Once Marnie turned a year old, Troy and I decided we were ready to have another baby. We wanted our kids to be very close to two years apart plus a couple of months so that their birthdays would be a bit apart. We were spot on this time and Ethan was due to arrive July 9th. We would have a couple of weeks between Marnie's day and Father's Day and then yet another couple of weeks until the Fourth of July and E's day. He had other plans though and make it into this world six weeks ahead of schedule. So, now all five events are scrunched in together. We do the best we can. Usually this time of year goes something like we forgo Mother's Day activities and Troy and I are lucky if we are able to go to dinner on our anniversary...we try to make the birthdays special but simple... and then somehow Troy ends up with some crazy kind of expensive Father's Day gift. I'm not sure how this happened. Last year: Mother's Day = nada. Father's Day = a great big gas grill. Hmpf.

This year however, it is going down a bit differently. Sort of. We are once again not really 'doing' too much for our anniversary. We are shipping the kids off to Chicago this afternoon and spending a whole day and a half by ourselves. Did you catch that? a.l.o.n.e. I am so freaking excited to sleep in tomorrow that I cannot even put it into actual words. It just keeps coming out ploopengotten smattenhoop. Nope, this year we have chosen to forsake our selfish Mom and Pop holidays for a huge kiddie bash. We are doing it up toddler style. In a mere two weeks, our house will be filled with loved ones celebrating our children's lives. I am pretty stoked about this event. Right now however, I am selling off all my worldly possessions on ebay in order to pay for it. Okay, so not all of them. Maybe in fact it is just a bunch of crap. Crap for sale.

Updates on all things Marnie & Ethan Birthday 2007 to come...

happiness

2007-05-13T20:15:00.000-05:00

Oh Mother's Day loveliness! Today I got to sleep in until almost 9:30... and I was given these beautiful stakes for my garden. I'm pretty sure that this is the first time anyone has ever made something for me. I love it. I hope all my future gifts from the kids are made by their little hands. I felt very special.

The rest of the day was spent roaming around the gardens and splashing a bit in the lake. Lovely. The weather was perfect and at every turn there were new buds and stems that were not there yesterday. I love this time of year. I cannot wait for more blooms though.

I am working on so many projects right now that I am kind of freaking out. Many have deadlines and I am fearful of not getting them done in time. Troy's aunt and her partner are getting married next month and I decided to take a stab at quilting. Hand quilting. For the first time ever. hmmmm. Maybe a bit ambitious, but it seems like a good idea in theory. These two ladies mean the world to me and I want to do something really nice. I have never embroidered before, but I got a book! I took a stab at a couple of stitches and then did a flower. Pretty elementary, I know, but eh. It turned out okay.

I have some wee stichettes headed my way, so I'll get some practice. yum.

Pan - moving on...

2007-05-11T07:29:00.000-05:00

I finished "Plain Truth" a novel by Jodi Picoult about a week ago. Let me start by saying how much I enjoyed the theme: Amish living. I was drawn to the book due solely to my not so secret desire to live in a plain way. I of course do not dream to give up all my modern possessions in exchange of gas lamps and dairy farming, but I do yearn for a more simple existence. This book tapped into that little part of me and explained a bit about this faith and the people that live it. Sadly, that is where the enjoyment ends.

"Plain Truth" was positively painful to read. Ms. Picoult's writing is extremely elementary, lacks creativity and is absolutely obvious. I would have stopped after the first chapter had I not wanted to learn more about the Amish culture. Thinking back, I'm not sure that the trade of a bit of knowledge vs. the cringe factor in the author's writing was worth it. Had I been of right mind, I would have chucked the book in the bin and bought some other book about the Amish. Who knows what my thinking was... The ending really capped off the book in a way true to each of it's preceding pages - in outrageous disappointment which leads to self analyzing the reason why you had put yourself through the torture of 405 pages of this shiteous writing in the first place. Obviously I will not be running out to read the rest of Jodi Picoult's works.

Enough about that crappy book. Let's talk about the two I am currently reading in quite sporadic form: "Me Talk Pretty One Day" by David Sedaris and "Sacred Games" by Vikram Chandra. Both are lovely and I am enjoying them thus far. I am not sure if trying, that I could find two mored dis similar books, but in an odd way they compliment each other in my world. Why am I reading two? Troy and I are sharing the Sedaris book, and I have the other going so I may not ever be without a good read. I am not far into either book, so I have no opinion to really give at this time beyond the obvious of Sedaris being so funny that I often times find myself in fits of tears and that I have a lot more to learn about the gangs of India. More to come on these two.

what to do when your daughter's the devil?

2007-05-10T15:11:00.000-05:00

Oh, I feel terrible! A friend of mine came over earlier in the day to keep me company as I continue to dig up the vegetable plot from hell and allow her son and Marnie to play together. This was an excellent plan and for the most part it went swimmingly. My work went so much faster with her here to talk with and Marnie stayed out of my hair long enough to actually accomplish something. I dig, Jenni talks, kids play on the swing set, babies sleep = wonderfulness. That is until Marnie pushed Noah off the end of the tunnel which is twelve feet high. On purpose. Thank God he didn't break anything. What kind of punishment does such an act call for? Seriously - that is extremely dangerous behavior. She is only three, so I am not really sure what do do beyond time outs. Nowhere in the books does it tell you what to do when your tot tries to kill her only child friend. Obviously we ended the play date and now Marnie is sequestered to her bedroom until further notice, but is that enough or appropriate?

Mother's Day goodiness

2007-05-10T10:11:00.000-05:00

What a nice success! Last night my mom and step-dad came for the evening before continuing on to the house up north in Traverse City. Since they will be there all weekend and will therefore not be in the vicinity for Mother's Day - we made my mom dinner and gave her a gift last night to show her how awesome she is. It went pretty well if I do say so. Here was our menu:

Fontina cheese served with sesame and seaweed crackers
Steak, shrimp & scallop kabobs
Red, orange & yellow peppers, mushroom and vadallia onion kabobs
Twice baked potatoes with green onions
Vino

Yummy.

I wish I had thought to take pictures of the meal. It was really beautiful with all the colored peppers. I had planned to, but alas...

As for the gift - I always have such a hard time picking out gifts for my parents. They have everything that they need and if they don't, they go out and buy it. My mom does not really collect anything and despises knick knacks and anything that doesn't have a real purpose. That is one of the main reasons I prefer to make gifts instead of buy them - usually what I make is practical and if it's not, you feel to guilty to throw it out or not use it because someone spent so much making it for you. Anyhow, this year I did not have the time to make something - I just had too many other projects going on. I decided to to go the charity route via this bag.
Not only is the bag awesome, but it also feeds a child for an entire school year. How can you go wrong? I am going to get one for myself also and so should you!

World Food Programme Feed Bag

birthday banner banter

2007-05-09T15:31:00.000-05:00

The family and I attended a birthday party last Sunday in the burbs. Birthday parties are of great interest to me right now as our big shin dig looms in the near future. I am really big on making things *extra* special and memorable (especially when it comes to my kiddos). This party that we went to was for the son of my dearest friend all throughout high school and up to now. We don't get to see each other very often, but when we do, it's just like we were together yesterday. Anyhow, her son turned one and we were able to make it out to the celebration. The thing that caught my eye was this large and lovely banner that she had made to wish her son a happy 1st. It was made of fabric and very cute. I had never thought to do this - but what a clever idea! Every year at the child's birthday, you can bring out the banner to hang up. With permission, I am totally stealing this idea for the kid's party. I am going to make one for each - in case they decide to do separate parties in the future or what have you. I am going to take the sentimental factor a bit farther however. When Marnie was a baby, I was so crazy about having this beautiful little girl that I went a little overboard on cute outfits. I have never had the heart to give away many of the dresses even though I have no plans of having more children. They have been sitting in the basement, collectively growing in numbers as she outgrows her still adorable dresses. The same kind of goes for Ethan too - I still have all of his baby clothing, however being only 11 months, there is not as much of a stash. Back to my point - I had the idea to use this clothing for the lettering on the banner. I think it will add a bit more to
the feeling of the banner.

Okay, so I still have quite a bit to do. I bought some felt today for the trim and to outline the letters. I hope that it doesn't take too much time, because I still have another to do. I have to say though that this project thus far has been super easy and really cheap. It really is not going to cost much more than one of those stupid plastic birthday banners and this will look much better hanging off the deck. The only thing that really sucks about this banner is how emotional it was to cut up her little dresses. I am not sure if it is due to the realisation that my baby is becoming a big girl or that I am not hanging on to them anymore in case I have another baby girl. Whatever the reason, it made me cry - a lot.