Christmas came and all I got was working at this crummy job.

Merry Christmas!  I absolutely need to do some research on things I can do for people that A) Don't cost a bizillion dollars and B) Can be done without a ton of planning for days like today.  Options were limited today but I didn't want to be lame and claim the giving of presents was my give.  I truly procrastinated and did not have anything pre thought out to do.  I could have easily blown it.  On day 5 too.  That would have been an epic fail.  I made it though.  On the way to family's for dinner, Troy commented how much it sucked to work at the movie store since they were actually open on Christmas day.  That is insane.  I do not want to even support that company since they obviously value a dollar more that the people they have working for them.  On the return trip, we stopped at the only other place open today - Speedway - and (after buying 2 Mega Lottery tickets) bout a package of oatmeal raisin cookies.  Marnie and I then ran into the video store and told the poor fellow behind the counter how sorry we were that he had to be working and that we brought him some cookies.  He looked a bit shocked but responded with thanks and a Merry Christmas.  We then ran out the door.

I have two really big ones to do this week coming up.  I am pretty excited about one of them in particular.  I am really enjoying the process of thinking about giving so frequently.  If nothing else, that is time not thinking about myself, yes?  The kids are already catching on and have agreed to begin giving away 10% of any money they earn.  They have money coming in on a regular basis, so I think this is fair.  Both Troy and I have our own businesses and each kid 'owns' 2% of each.  We work together as a family, so we feel it is fair that they earn as well.  Troy and I have made the decision for the first time in our lives that it is time  for us to tithe 10% of our income on a weekly basis.  My project is above and beyond that amount, but I like to think of it as backpay.  We do not attend church on a very regular basis, and I am not sure if we ever will, but I do think we owe 10% to someone and the church is a good place for it to go.  I just need to convince them to put a donate button on their webpage so I do not need to check in every Sunday.  Anyhoo, the kids are tossing many ideas around about what they want to do with the percentage they have from all of their Christmas cash.  They kind of banked this year, so they each have about $15 to spend on acts.  Some interesting ideas have been popping up and I cannot wait to see what the final decision is.

Troy is jumping on board a little bit too.  He is the headliner in one of the big ones coming up.  He is very nervous but trusting that this will be good for us.  He deserves his own post however, so I will leave it at that for now.

Stats:
Daily Points - 5
Extra - 1
Bonus - 0

ut-o

Today, when picking up Marnie from school, I was pulled aside by one of her teachers. She needed to 'speak' to me. My stomach instantly dropped to my knees and a feeling that I have not felt in almost a decade crept into my being. Was I in trouble?

Apparently Marnie is having some issues regarding the bathroom. Her teacher, in an o-so teacherish tone informed me that after using the facilities, instead of finishing up in the usual manner, she instead removes her clothing and parades out into the classroom - shaking what her Mama gave her. Sadly that Mama is me. Why she is doing this, I have not a clue. Well, maybe I have some ideas, but they all make me feel worse.

I did not know I could feel this way at my age. I did not get in trouble with my teachers much as a kid, but when I did it destroyed me. I have never been one to handle criticism well. I would dwell for days on what was wrong with me. It makes me sad to think of it even now. After graduating however, I rejoiced in the fact I would never have to face that dread again. Of course the judgement was replaced instantly with that from employers and eventually other mothers... but none compared to that of a teacher. Perhaps it is so bad because they are invested in you. Perhaps it is because they try to care. Who knows, who cared really because I would never have to feel that way again.

Eff no.

After today's curb side discussion, I came to an absolutely horrifying realization. I am going to have to feel this make me wanna puke dread x 18 years x however many children I end up birthing. This is awful. Possibly enough for me to consider sterilization... for Troy. This possibility never crossed my mind and due to my ignorance I am now crawled up in a chair, my stomach in knots, wondering why my child is doing this and why I am such a sham of a mother.

Shit.

wow

This made me almost pee my pants.

Missed it, But...

I missed Recipe Wednesday. I suck. In my defense however, I was moping about, pouting and throwing tantrums like a two year old. You probably wouldn't have wanted to try any recipe I came up with at that time any how. It would have been something like this:

Life Hates Erin Pie

Ingredients:

1 stolen dirt bike
1 broke phone
1 lost necklace
1 busted up car
1 stolen laptop
Any other manure, poo, dookie, & shiz that you happen to have laying around
1 Erin

Directions:

In a big pot (maybe canner size?), combine all ingredients until they become heartbreakingly devastating & soul crushing.
Pour contents on top of Erin until she cries.
Enjoy!


Who wants to eat that really? No one, that's who. Definitely better that I just skipped over Wednesday and moved right along as if nothing ever happened.

I'll make it up to you though my cheeky little monkeys. How you ask? Ha, with this little ditty of a recipe that I made up this morning for my darling Marnie. She and Ethan have been sick all week and as a result, neither has had the desire to eat anything. This morning however my curly haired little girl asked for chocolate cookies. I don't happen to keep those on hand... actually not even sure if such exists outside of her sugar crazed mind, but I wanted to oblige. The only problem was that Troy took my car to work, so I had no way of going to the store. Not that it really mattered though. Even if I could have got there, I could not have bought anything. We have begun a new budget and the amount of money allotted to food would only get me a bag of lima beans and a half eaten jar of pickles. Not that the budget really mattered though either because I am inherently lazy and probably would not have gone regardless. So, as I do aim to please, I started rummaging through the cupboards to see what I could make up.

This recipe is based on one of my FAVORITES as a kid. Every time there was a bake sale at school and I somehow miraculously had a quarter, I would order me up a couple of No Bake Cookies. We did not have cookies at home. No sweets really. My Mom was of the mentality that if it didn't contain wheat germ it didn't belong in the house. Which is why the No Bake in my mind is synonymous with f.u.n.

Moving on... You may or may not know that Celiacs can not eat oats. There are some out there that claim to be gluten free. I find this dubious however and choose to not partake. I cannot quite wrap my head around how oats can be grown without the presence of wheat. To each his own however. But if you get intestinal cancer because you never met a bowl of oatmeal that you didn't like, don't come crying to me. I will run. This oat fact has always kept me away from making No Bakes, because really what could you use instead? Anything you happen to find in you pantry is what. This is what I came up with:

Throw It In There! No Bake Cookies

Ingredients:

1 3/4 cups white sugar
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup of butter (I didn't have any, so I used olive oil - it worked, but I'm pretty sure butter would have been better)
4 TBS unsweetened cocoa powder
3/4 cup peanut butter
3 cups shredded coconut
2 cups peanuts
1 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla extract

Directions:

In a medium saucepan, combine sugar, butter, milk and cocoa. Bring to a boil and cook for about two minutes. Remove from heat and mix in remaining ingredients. Place heaping spoonfuls onto wax paper and allow to cool for what seems like forever as your child screams 'But I want it Nnnooowwww!' Try to ignore the urge to rip the skin from your face.


They turned out well. The chocolate stained footie pajamas that I will spend the next two hours treating, rinsing, scrubbing, swearing at & repeat do well to prove it.

flying crayon.

After sobbing profusely for what seemed like years, Marnie finally quieted. She had just been punished for drawing, for the second day in a row, on the white wall with a deep purple crayon. Today there was an encore performance which covered the little green desk, the entirety of the maple coffee table and my latest crewel project. I sat down beside her and asked why she did not learn her lesson after yesterday's wall art punishment? 'It wasn't me. The Purple crayon really wanted to fly up to the wall and I said NO! My Mommy will give me a spanking if you do that! But she wouldn't listen and just went crazy.' With that she looked down at her knees and slowly shook her head from side to side as if befuddled by the crayon who would not listen to her. How could her favorite color do her so wrong?

October come August.

We moved to our little Farming town last October and almost immediately I began researching Mom organizations in the area. I was determined to not be held captive within our home as I was in Kalamazoo. I adore staying at home with my kids, however with the lack of coworkers and such it can be a very lonely occupation. Add a side note of living in the middle of nowhere and two kids who can barely talk and you have an equation that leads to one crazy Mama. I needed friends who were in similar situations and as soon as we were semi settled, I went seeking. I found two right off the bat and contacted both. As it was October and all, each invited me to attend their respective Halloween parties with Marnie and Ethan. It sounded like fun, so I dressed up my little bumble bee and headed out. I'm not shy exactly, but I cannot tell you how much I hate going into situations with people I do not know. I am just bad at it. I am always super quiet and am racking my brain for things to say that won't sound amazingly stupid. Since not saying stupid things is next to impossible for me, I usually stand there and pretend to be really involved in whatever the kids are doing and only speak when asked a direct question. I wish that I was less socially retarded, but eh... Working on it sounds like too much effort. So, the first party was a bitter disappointment in a general way. Most of the Moms were older than me and had the 'Mom look' that I desperately try to avoid. Only one woman bothered to introduce herself and talk to me out of the two dozen or so that were there and as she did so all I could think about was running away. She told me about how supportive the club was for stay-at-home mothers (working mothers are not welcome) and that it literally is her life line. I looked around and decided that this was not a life line that I wanted. The second group party that we visited however was fantastic. The moms were young and trendy and actually spoke to one another. They made us feel welcome and Marnie had so much fun playing with all of the children. I knew that I wanted to belong to this group and I took the registration home to fill out. Sadly, there it sat on my counter for days and then weeks and then, actually I have no idea what ever happened to it. Winter came and went and like I had swore I would not do, we holed up in our little house praying for spring to arrive.

I am not sure what reminded me of the group or why I was so suddenly motivated to join, but I did so about six weeks ago. There are many events to attend but we haven't gone to any. Something always comes up to prevent our attendance. Every Wednesday during the summer there is a park day play-date and I have honestly planned to attend each one for the past six weeks. One of the kids always wakes up sick the day of or Troy forgets to leave the car-seats and we are stranded. This week, due to heavy rains, the park was exchanged for this funky venue called Liberty Zone. As the word 'zone' might imply, it is an area filled with tunnels and climbing and kids screaming. I had never heard of this place before and after inquiring about it's location, was surprised to find out that it is within a Baptist church. It is also a mere six minute drive from our home. We made it this morning and spent a fun filled two and a half hours in the wackiest church around the corner in their free indoor playground thingy. The kids played and hopefully little budding friendships began to develop. I as well met some neat moms and hopefully I too will make some friendships. We'll see. I am not so great at getting those going either. If nothing else we will always have Liberty Zone.

life.

Time slips by lately. Scarily. One minute I am working diligently on preparation for a children's birthday party and the next two months has passed and I have yet to leave a post on all that has happened.

These few weeks will be the last I will have with both of my babies at home with me every moment of every day. I have put this thought at bay for the past year, not wanting to think about it too much due to it's soul crushing effects. Marnie will only be entering school for two days a week and only half days at that. I know that does not seem like such a big deal, but I have become so accustomed to being with her constantly and I cannot wrap my head around it being otherwise. I am sure the bigger issue here is of course her gradual move towards independence and the eventual demise of her now all encompassing need for me... but I am not ready to take that on. I prefer to take a baby step and focus now on how much I am going to miss her. I am going to miss her seven hours a week. Pathetic? Probably, but I don't care.

I am excited about the opportunity to spend more one on one time with Ethan. Ethan, although much more challenging on the health front, is extremely laid back and not nearly as demanding on my attention. While this can be a Godsend, it often means that he takes back-seat to his big sister. Marnie is big personality and Ethan chooses not to compete yet. Luckily however, Marnie also adores Ethan and gives him more attention than he could ever need and probably doesn't even desire. I am really looking forward to working on developing the relationship with Ethan that came so easy with Marnie and I when it was just the two of us. Ethan and I have never been just the two of us, so this situation I am sure will be positive for him and I.

On a completely dissimilar topic, I have been taken over by thoughts of Halloween lately. Odd. Last year, I had the desire to sew costumes for the kids, but I think perhaps I became lazy. I actually cannot recall what happened and why I didn't make them. All I know is that Ethan, being only 4 months old, did not have a costume at all and Marnie ended up with the only costume left in shop a week prior to the big night - a bumble bee. She was a cute bumble bee though. This year though, I am determined to produce amazing costumes on my own for both kids. I am no seamstress mind you, so I am going to start now. I have the feeling that this project might be a bit too much for my limited skills. We shall see. I ordered the patterns this morning and hopefully they will be here by next week. I have chosen to take on patterns by Tom Arma. For those who aren't familiar, Tom Arma designs the most amazing costumes for children. To buy one retail, you can expect to spend upwards of $80, which is ridiculous. Luckily for me and many others who could not possibly justify spending that crazy amount of cash on a costume that is only going to become ruined by pixie sticks, he also has designed a few select patterns for McCall's. So, there you go... I'll be updating I am sure.

much to do about much.

Thursday evening, my Mom drove in from the city to pick up the kids. Troy and I enjoyed the evening together and had a movie marathon. It was fun, but we had planned on really celebrating our anniversary on Friday. I wish I had remembered to take a picture of the amazing breakfast that Troy cooked in celebration of us... He made the most beautiful gluten-free crepes stuffed with fresh strawberries and topped with whipped cream. yum. We then took off to look for goodies.

Every year, Troy and I buy an antique for our anniversary. We LOVE antiques, but even more than possessing them, we love to shop for them. Since moving here, we had not yet checked out any of the local shops, so we hit them all up on Friday. We don't usually have anything in mind. At least not collectively. I had thought a picnic suitcase with all the bits would be lovely. I'm not sure if Troy had any ideas beforehand - he definitely was not in sync with mine. Usually as we browse, we will stumble upon some item that is obviously for us. That day was no exception. We found this gorgeous chick hatchery from 1910. Awesome. The condition is amazing and it stands on legs, so it can be used as a table. We just fell for it as soon as we set eyes on it. Unfortunately for us, it was priced a bit out of range of the budget we had set, but we have decided to continue to set some cash aside each week until we can call it ours. You know, in the name of us. Uh, love it. I wish I had taken a photo to pine over.

After much shopping and a little buying, we came home and Troy once again returned to the kitchen. What a dinner.


Steamed lobster claws, bacon wrapped Cajun sea scallops, grilled king crab in tarragon butter, and gluten-free fried oysters. Freaking delicious. He continues to boggle the mind.

Saturday was Marnie's big 3. I missed my babies so much. It is so silly how much your heart can ache after kiddos when they have only been gone a couple of days. It was a lovely reunion though and Marnie was pretty excited about the many packages we brought with us. Per usual, her fave by far was the birthday ball. The main theme was a barbie pretend makeup set - in the middle hid a (sort of) working hair dryer.


Since we are throwing the kids a giant party, I went the route of an individual cake for the actual day. I had wanted to get her a heavily frosted cupcake, but when the only bakery in town is inside a Walmart, you have to lower your expectations. I found a little cake and then added an immense amount of pink frosting and sugar stars. She dug.


The kids and I headed to Kalamazoo on Sunday for a cousin's graduation party/pig roast. Yup. It was fine and all. People went a bit crazy with the hooch, but at least it was entertaining. Yesterday morning though, Ethan awoke with a 104 temp. He was difficult to rouse and simply not himself. We got him home quickly and made many efforts to bring down his temp. We were in constant contact with his doctor and were ready to head out to the hospital in a second if the situation became worse. It was so scary to see him that way. Finally his fever broke in late afternoon and he returned to his crazy self by evening time. Ethan is such a sweet thang. He managed to smile through most of the day... even as he sat in a bath with ice.Yesterday, in addition to a sick kid, we also had a trapped bird in our fireplace. Troy had sworn he had been hearing a ghost in the house for a couple of days. Well, no. It was just a bird. What gave it away? Maybe it was the BIRD knocking his beak against the glass of the fireplace. I swear I don't know what he would do if he lived alone. Anyway, Troy was able to get at it after a few hours of trying. It was fine. *



And then in another lovely dinner from the boy. My favorite in fact. I think the rice needs some tweaking and I could do without the k.r.a.b., but overall it was good and so nice of him to try.
He said that this was for me, but it was really for him... Gluten-free chocolate cake. I'll admit it was pretty good.
Today we are back to normal. No more birthdays or holidays. Well, that is until Ethan turns one next week. And did I mention that the mother-in-law is arriving in a few days? Yup. We have a christening party to attend in a couple of days also and I have yet to make a gift or even search for ideas. Oh, and the ladies' wedding in which the gift is far from complete. And those birthday banners that need to be made before the party... I'm screwed.


* Don't mind the crying man in the photo - for he is not actually crying, merely deathly allergic to grass spores. Spring is trying to off him.

happiness

Oh Mother's Day loveliness! Today I got to sleep in until almost 9:30... and I was given these beautiful stakes for my garden. I'm pretty sure that this is the first time anyone has ever made something for me. I love it. I hope all my future gifts from the kids are made by their little hands. I felt very special.

The rest of the day was spent roaming around the gardens and splashing a bit in the lake. Lovely. The weather was perfect and at every turn there were new buds and stems that were not there yesterday. I love this time of year. I cannot wait for more blooms though.


I am working on so many projects right now that I am kind of freaking out. Many have deadlines and I am fearful of not getting them done in time. Troy's aunt and her partner are getting married next month and I decided to take a stab at quilting. Hand quilting. For the first time ever. hmmmm. Maybe a bit ambitious, but it seems like a good idea in theory. These two ladies mean the world to me and I want to do something really nice. I have never embroidered before, but I got a book! I took a stab at a couple of stitches and then did a flower. Pretty elementary, I know, but eh. It turned out okay.

I have some wee stichettes headed my way, so I'll get some practice. yum.

what to do when your daughter's the devil?

Oh, I feel terrible! A friend of mine came over earlier in the day to keep me company as I continue to dig up the vegetable plot from hell and allow her son and Marnie to play together. This was an excellent plan and for the most part it went swimmingly. My work went so much faster with her here to talk with and Marnie stayed out of my hair long enough to actually accomplish something. I dig, Jenni talks, kids play on the swing set, babies sleep = wonderfulness. That is until Marnie pushed Noah off the end of the tunnel which is twelve feet high. On purpose. Thank God he didn't break anything. What kind of punishment does such an act call for? Seriously - that is extremely dangerous behavior. She is only three, so I am not really sure what do do beyond time outs. Nowhere in the books does it tell you what to do when your tot tries to kill her only child friend. Obviously we ended the play date and now Marnie is sequestered to her bedroom until further notice, but is that enough or appropriate?

birthday banner banter

The family and I attended a birthday party last Sunday in the burbs. Birthday parties are of great interest to me right now as our big shin dig looms in the near future. I am really big on making things *extra* special and memorable (especially when it comes to my kiddos). This party that we went to was for the son of my dearest friend all throughout high school and up to now. We don't get to see each other very often, but when we do, it's just like we were together yesterday. Anyhow, her son turned one and we were able to make it out to the celebration. The thing that caught my eye was this large and lovely banner that she had made to wish her son a happy 1st. It was made of fabric and very cute. I had never thought to do this - but what a clever idea! Every year at the child's birthday, you can bring out the banner to hang up. With permission, I am totally stealing this idea for the kid's party. I am going to make one for each - in case they decide to do separate parties in the future or what have you. I am going to take the sentimental factor a bit farther however. When Marnie was a baby, I was so crazy about having this beautiful little girl that I went a little overboard on cute outfits. I have never had the heart to give away many of the dresses even though I have no plans of having more children. They have been sitting in the basement, collectively growing in numbers as she outgrows her still adorable dresses. The same kind of goes for Ethan too - I still have all of his baby clothing, however being only 11 months, there is not as much of a stash. Back to my point - I had the idea to use this clothing for the lettering on the banner. I think it will add a bit more to
the feeling of the banner.



Okay, so I still have quite a bit to do. I bought some felt today for the trim and to outline the letters. I hope that it doesn't take too much time, because I still have another to do. I have to say though that this project thus far has been super easy and really cheap. It really is not going to cost much more than one of those stupid plastic birthday banners and this will look much better hanging off the deck. The only thing that really sucks about this banner is how emotional it was to cut up her little dresses. I am not sure if it is due to the realisation that my baby is becoming a big girl or that I am not hanging on to them anymore in case I have another baby girl. Whatever the reason, it made me cry - a lot.