Christmas came and all I got was working at this crummy job.

Merry Christmas!  I absolutely need to do some research on things I can do for people that A) Don't cost a bizillion dollars and B) Can be done without a ton of planning for days like today.  Options were limited today but I didn't want to be lame and claim the giving of presents was my give.  I truly procrastinated and did not have anything pre thought out to do.  I could have easily blown it.  On day 5 too.  That would have been an epic fail.  I made it though.  On the way to family's for dinner, Troy commented how much it sucked to work at the movie store since they were actually open on Christmas day.  That is insane.  I do not want to even support that company since they obviously value a dollar more that the people they have working for them.  On the return trip, we stopped at the only other place open today - Speedway - and (after buying 2 Mega Lottery tickets) bout a package of oatmeal raisin cookies.  Marnie and I then ran into the video store and told the poor fellow behind the counter how sorry we were that he had to be working and that we brought him some cookies.  He looked a bit shocked but responded with thanks and a Merry Christmas.  We then ran out the door.

I have two really big ones to do this week coming up.  I am pretty excited about one of them in particular.  I am really enjoying the process of thinking about giving so frequently.  If nothing else, that is time not thinking about myself, yes?  The kids are already catching on and have agreed to begin giving away 10% of any money they earn.  They have money coming in on a regular basis, so I think this is fair.  Both Troy and I have our own businesses and each kid 'owns' 2% of each.  We work together as a family, so we feel it is fair that they earn as well.  Troy and I have made the decision for the first time in our lives that it is time  for us to tithe 10% of our income on a weekly basis.  My project is above and beyond that amount, but I like to think of it as backpay.  We do not attend church on a very regular basis, and I am not sure if we ever will, but I do think we owe 10% to someone and the church is a good place for it to go.  I just need to convince them to put a donate button on their webpage so I do not need to check in every Sunday.  Anyhoo, the kids are tossing many ideas around about what they want to do with the percentage they have from all of their Christmas cash.  They kind of banked this year, so they each have about $15 to spend on acts.  Some interesting ideas have been popping up and I cannot wait to see what the final decision is.

Troy is jumping on board a little bit too.  He is the headliner in one of the big ones coming up.  He is very nervous but trusting that this will be good for us.  He deserves his own post however, so I will leave it at that for now.

Stats:
Daily Points - 5
Extra - 1
Bonus - 0

lame town halloween.

Last night, Sunday night that is - a full 5 days prior to Halloween - we took our kids trick-or-treating. Odd? Yes, I concur. I have been racking my brain for the last two weeks trying to figure out why Lame Town set it up this way. I cannot figure it out. Halloween this year falls on a Friday... and there is no school the next day... It's over my head.

Anyhoo, we went trick-or-treating to a whole 5 houses before returning home. It was freezing outside and I think my poor son was about to die. Troy and I each took a kid to ready up for the outing - Marnie fell to me because she decided last minute to be a lion - the same exact costume she wore last year. Blech. She insisted this year WAS different because this year she was going to be a girl lion. No matter that the costume has a sewn in mane. Semantics Mom. A girl lion is apparently differentiated by the makeup on her face, hence Marnie being my responsibility. If left to Troy, she would have been a tranny lion - actually that may have been more appropriate given the mane, but I digress. Troy in turn took Ethan who chose to be an alligator. Given that Troy will be 30 next week, has been a father for almost five years and has been with my anal ass for 8 - I have come to trust him to do small tasks. Perhaps a mistake on my part. I finish dressing my gender confused lion, see that Ethan is Alligator looking, snap a few photos and we are out the door. Two blocks in, Ethan starts noticeably shaking. I mention that we should probably head back home since it is so cold out. Yes, Troy agrees. After all Ethan only has a diaper on beneath his costume. Stop. Blink. Blink. No winter coat? A sweater? A pair of pants? It was 56 degrees when taking pictures on our stoop. Troy defends himself by informing me that he and his brother never had to wear anything under their costumes on Halloween growing up. I remind him that he grew up in southern Mississippi and that he now lives in the midwest and has done so for 10 years. Nothing. Blank stare.





Troy was not the disturbing part of my fake-Halloween Halloween though. The really odd part came after we returned and set ourselves up to hand out candy to all the little treat seeking kiddos that would pass our house. At least that is what I bought the candy for. In reality, I think we had an entire 4 children in costume come to our door. I did however have 5 different mothers, at different times throughout the evening - pushing infants in strollers, without any other children in sight, appear with bags asking for candy. These babies were in no way old enough to eat mashed peas - candy would kill them. It was really bizarre. If it was just one, I would shrug it off and toss it in the annoying Halloween category - you know, the one where kids without costumes and the ones sporting boobs and mustaches go, but five? That's a bit more than strange. Most of them also went into these 'cutesy' little voices as if speaking for the baby. I'd have rather they just flashed a gun and demand all my candy. That would have spooked me less.

suckety suckety suck.

I was planning on sitting down this evening and telling you all about Marnie's first day of preschool and the wonderful weekend that followed. A weekend that included a lovely visit with my Dad, apple picking, a new growing area for the chicks that is not in the house, my first attempt at canning and the the building of our new chicken house.

But now I'm not going to. Why? Because I'm pissed.

This evening the local police were due to come out and run the VIN on Troy's recently purchased vehicle. We bought a 2005 Honda CRF from a Honda dealership in a nearby town ( I won't write their name yet, since I am not sure how they will handle this situation). Troy loves his bike. He lourves his bike. His dreams are filled with dirt bikety goodness.

Troy's bike is a stolen bike. They sold us a STOLEN dirt bike.

This has to be the most mortifying experience I have ever been part of. Three cop cars in our driveway for over an hour and then a huge impound truck to haul the bike away. All of our neighbors could see it take place. We look like thieving criminals.

More later. I cannot formulate thoughts properly at the moment.

shmud.

The first day of the Master Cleanse was a little more unpleasant than I had imagined. And what I had imagined was pretty horrific to begin with. The day began with 32 ounces of water and two teaspoons of sea salt. It was like forcing yourself to eat ocean. I was pretty sure that I was going to be unable to keep it down. After the nausea passed, it was pretty smooth sailing for the next few hours. I made the lemon tincture and was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't absolutely terrifying although pretty damn spicy due to the cayenne pepper. I have a pretty high tolerance for hot too, but this drink kicked my ass. Although to be quite honest, my measurements could be quite off the mark for what the recipe actually calls for. Each drink calls for 1/10 teaspoon of cayenne pepper. What the hell is that? Who has that small of a measuring spoon? I just kind of threw some in there and hoped for the best. Next time I will have to ask Marnie if I can borrow Barbie's kitchen set. The kids and I had a park play-date with our Mother's & More group and I brought my 'juice' along. I really felt no hunger, but somewhere between running after Ethan so he didn't get run down by the black impala and running after Ethan so he wouldn't fling himself from the top of the twister slide, I was hit by a monster migraine. I haven't felt that kind of pain since pregnant with Marnie. Back in those days I was plagued with the brain splitting terrors almost every day. At least then I could take Tylenol - which obviously did no actual good as it is a pointless excuse for a pain killer, but did at least provide the benefit of acting like a placebo to my easily persuaded mind. While on this fast, you are to take no medicine nor vitamin of any kind, so basically I was screwed. I made through the park excursion, gritting my teeth and wanting to rip the eyeballs from my sockets. Finally it ended and I fled home. Once there, Troy smugly informed me that it must be the lack of caffeine. For weeks prior to starting this fast, I have been attempting (pleading really) to get Troy to join me. He actually wanted - if he could be allowed to drink his pot of coffee a day. To me that was against the point of the entire detox. I too drink coffee and diet coke and I was not going to let that stop me. What a freaking baby. Cold turkey is the way to go in by book, so that's the way I went. And it went not well obviously. I was splayed out, face down, on the couch for the remainder of the afternoon in too much pain to cry. Finally I had to pull myself together in order to accompany Marnie to her Preschool orientation. I cannot even tell you much of went on there. I know that there was something with paste and Marnie throwing a fit because it required her to dirty her fingers, but I was pretty much blacked out at that point from excruciating pain. Good thing I was randomly pointing my camera places and clicking the button. I managed to capture snippets of what was a banner day in the world of Marnie. At some point in the evening Troy mentioned that he indeed would like to do the cleanse with me if I would only allow him a couple of days to gradually wean himself from the coffee. Did this mean that I could take drugs to rid myself of the internal hell fire that was set ablaze inside my skull? Yes. There was a pause, oh so brief, where I debated whether I should agree to this plan, for it meant that I also agreed with the fact that I am caffeine's bitch and even worse, that Troy was right. Within a mere fraction of a second, Marnie was ripped from her pint size student chair and I was running with her down the wooded path to our car. Her cries didn't even deter me. It was only orientation after all. Within an hour of returning home and taking some Motrin (an actual drug that works) I began to feel human again. And like a bad mom, but I promised that tomorrow she could don her pouffiest dress in which would provide her with hours of twirling joy. All was forgiven.

Today was smoother. Although not on the fast, I am continuing to not consume an ounce of caffeine in preparation for the restart which has been scheduled for this coming Monday. No headaches either which is rather promising Troy is doing better than expected. He has only consumed one and a half cups of coffee (so he says) today and is not nearly as angry as I assumed he would be. I had suspected that these four days of withdraw for him would be much like the period of time in the morning between waking and that first sip of muddy bliss. No one wants to be near the man at that time. Just ask Marnie, her lip will quiver as her eyes dart looking for the nearest corner in which to hide. We'll see how he does once he's off the bean completely.

as always, amazed.

Last week was a little rough in the world of Erin. After a fun family affair in Kalamazoo, I discovered that my most adored 'Return to Tiffany' heart lock pendant was missing from my neck. Troy gave this little slice-o-bliss to me a few months ago and I have never once removed it. I knew that I would have to soon, for the once sparkling silver had become dark with tarnish, but not yet. As much as I love this necklace and the sentiment behind it, there was one drawback - the 'lock' feature was somewhat real. The handle could be pulled up and out allowing the pendant to be released from it's chain. A pretty cool feature in general, but maybe not so handy with toddler fingers constantly prying at every article on my being. I can only imagine that this is what took place that weekend. It had happened before, a couple of times in fact, where I had been holding my little man and YANK! Off went my little silver heart into his sticky little paw. I tried to teach him not to touch it, but as any Mom knows who owns anything shiny and valuable - it's pretty much pointless. I have always felt the tug before though. I mean you really need to put a bit of grunt into the pull in order for the heart to open. This time however I felt nothing. In fact I have no idea exactly when I even lost it. After the 90 minute drive home and an additional many hours, I finally noticed the absence of weight around my neck. It could have been anywhere.

After my usual panic freak out - which I am prone to, I emailed the aunt who's house we had stayed and explained what had happened. No luck. No one could find it after much searching. We had been many places. It was gone. I felt very upset with myself.

Five days later I dropped my iphone and the glass shattered into an unusable hundred or so pieces. After calling Apple and dealing with an extremely unsympathetic rep, I felt really pissed off to be frank. I have been loyal to Apple for many, many years. My love affair started with a small SE when I was seven years old. Computers were just entering the school systems for the first time and people were beginning to save for one for home. My Dad, a gadget lover and enthusiast, brought home our first Mac. I'm not sure why he he was swayed by the little desktop computer, but once it sat upon his desk, I became a Mac girl for life. As with many girls I am sure, my Dad was the TOPS. He knew everything about everything and if he said Macs were the best then I'll be damned if you are going to sway me otherwise. Every week of my childhood I would go to school with smug satisfaction and outrageous excitement over the fact that THIS week my Dad was going to win the lotto and next week I would be getting my teachings in Jamaica. I debated my classmates and earnestly put up my $2 weekly allowance on a bet that Ross Perot would be our next President of these United States. Of course he would. Although these days I do seek out my very own un persuaded opinion on most things, my love of the Mac has never faltered. My Dad and I will spend entire weekend visits tapping away at our own respective MacBooks, talking of this and that in which we have learned or stumbled across. If it is of Apple, we probably own it or at the very least covet it greatly. As was with the iphone. We oohed and ahhed over every little short that was made available on Apple's website. We spoke over it's grandness over the phone. It must be ours. And it was. Dad got hold of one the day it was released - I had mine a couple of weeks later. The first day was lovely - learning all of the quirky new features. Sadly, my affection was short lived. There are many things lacking that 'could have been' in the iphone, but of course it really is a revolutionary phone and I don't feel right going on and on about what it is lacking. My first problem was actually encountered by what it does have - a really deep and thin headphone jack. One of the reasons that I was so excited about the phone was that now my cell and ipod would be one. I would be able able to plug my phone into my car through the aux and listen as I had with my ipod. Wrong. Any normal auxiliary cable will not fit and as there is no Apple store in the middle of nowhere where I happen to live for me to buy the adapter - I am without. I can order it online, but why do I have to?? The question is mute anyhow with the shattered face plate and/or the $250 repair price tag. After calling Apple, I also contacted Apple retail stores in both Grand Rapids and Chicago. Same answer, no. No. No. My Dad, after a short visit, took the phone back to Milwaukee with him and tried a face to face approach. Nope.

In walks Troy. After me telling him that there was absolutely no point whatsoever in calling Apple as there was no chance of persuading them to fix my phone for free, he did so anyway. I am not sure where this confidence or abandonment of fear of others comes from, but I wish I had it. Even a little bit of it. Deal done. 20 minutes of this and that Apple is sending me a brand new phone. What? Okay.... I am absolutely not going to complain. An hour later, the phone rings and it is my Aunt Jean - my cousin, who did not even know that my pendant was missing, found the heart and had wondered if it were mine. Why? Because Troy had my initials engraved on the back. Wonders that boy is, pure wonders. It's a good thing to because I was having nightmares over having to speak badly about Apple. Pure blasphemy.

Keeping with the theme of my world of order being restored, tomorrow I am starting a fast. The Master Cleanse / Lemonade Diet / Detox whatchamacallit to be more exact. Fourteen days without any food is what I have to look forward to and I am sure it will be interesting, at least mildly. Updates to come if I have energy to put fingers to MacBook.