Christmas came and all I got was working at this crummy job.

Merry Christmas!  I absolutely need to do some research on things I can do for people that A) Don't cost a bizillion dollars and B) Can be done without a ton of planning for days like today.  Options were limited today but I didn't want to be lame and claim the giving of presents was my give.  I truly procrastinated and did not have anything pre thought out to do.  I could have easily blown it.  On day 5 too.  That would have been an epic fail.  I made it though.  On the way to family's for dinner, Troy commented how much it sucked to work at the movie store since they were actually open on Christmas day.  That is insane.  I do not want to even support that company since they obviously value a dollar more that the people they have working for them.  On the return trip, we stopped at the only other place open today - Speedway - and (after buying 2 Mega Lottery tickets) bout a package of oatmeal raisin cookies.  Marnie and I then ran into the video store and told the poor fellow behind the counter how sorry we were that he had to be working and that we brought him some cookies.  He looked a bit shocked but responded with thanks and a Merry Christmas.  We then ran out the door.

I have two really big ones to do this week coming up.  I am pretty excited about one of them in particular.  I am really enjoying the process of thinking about giving so frequently.  If nothing else, that is time not thinking about myself, yes?  The kids are already catching on and have agreed to begin giving away 10% of any money they earn.  They have money coming in on a regular basis, so I think this is fair.  Both Troy and I have our own businesses and each kid 'owns' 2% of each.  We work together as a family, so we feel it is fair that they earn as well.  Troy and I have made the decision for the first time in our lives that it is time  for us to tithe 10% of our income on a weekly basis.  My project is above and beyond that amount, but I like to think of it as backpay.  We do not attend church on a very regular basis, and I am not sure if we ever will, but I do think we owe 10% to someone and the church is a good place for it to go.  I just need to convince them to put a donate button on their webpage so I do not need to check in every Sunday.  Anyhoo, the kids are tossing many ideas around about what they want to do with the percentage they have from all of their Christmas cash.  They kind of banked this year, so they each have about $15 to spend on acts.  Some interesting ideas have been popping up and I cannot wait to see what the final decision is.

Troy is jumping on board a little bit too.  He is the headliner in one of the big ones coming up.  He is very nervous but trusting that this will be good for us.  He deserves his own post however, so I will leave it at that for now.

Stats:
Daily Points - 5
Extra - 1
Bonus - 0

big breath in....

I likely will not be able to post later today due to the holiday, so I will just let you know what my act of the day will be and then I can fill you in on the details some other time...

The whole family is taking a trip over to the local maya discount shopping center where we will buy a $100 gift card.  We will then politely stalk out our unsuspecting prey and wait for them to check out.  Looking as if we are leaving the store, we will approach our person (people) and ask if they would like to use the remainder of our gift card as there is only a couple of bucks on it and we do not usually frequent that particular store.  Then we run out the front door and leave.  I hope it goes as smoothly as it does in my head.  I also hope my children don't geek out with excitement and blow our cover.  This will be their first 'secret' give.

Merry Christmas!

Stats:
Daily Points - 4
Extra - 1*
Bonus - 0


* Got a coffee from the book store that cost a little more than $1.  Paid with a $5 and left the barista all of the change.  Maybe not a big deal, but they cannot ALL be big and it is something I would absolutely not have done before.

she likes me, she likes me not.

Today's act was a success and it felt good to do.  It is tricky to pull off acts of kindness this time of year since most people assume it is a Christmas present or some such thing.  It doesn't really matter what the thoughts are behind the receiver though I suppose - only the fact that I gave in the first place.  I have been trying to find ideas online about different ways I can surprise people with kind gestures.  Todays was pulled from one of the lists I read.  It had suggested giving flowers to a person at work that is normally over looked and under appreciated.  Seeing as I work in a salon, that would absolutely be the receptionist.  I called ahead by a few days to find out who was working and learned there would actually be two today.  One is a sweetheart and very easy to give to.  The other... well, let's just say that we have clashing personalities and try to avoid one another whenever possible.  This is felt on both sides I am sure.  An act is an act however, so I put on my big girl panties and decided to give to both.  I went out the other day and bought vases and some lovely river rocks.  I purchased two very pretty bouquets in a holiday theme.  I decided that in addition to the flowers, a personalized card of thanks would really put some emphasis on how much they are appreciated.  The one was easy.  The second required a little rubbing of my gratitude rock, but eventually the words came and I truly did have feelings of appreciation and wishes of joy for her and her family.

The easy one was there when I arrived and reacted exactly as you would assume one would.  The other arrived a few hours later - grumpy.  It was time for me to leave, so I took a private moment in another room to ground myself and make the choice that her mood would not effect me.  I gathered myself up and left for the day - not knowing if she even saw her flowers.

A few hours later I got a call.  It was a very nice call.  She told me about the bad week she was having and that perhaps the flowers made it a bit better.  I wished her a merry Christmas and that was that.  Maybe the seed has been planted.  Maybe a new relationship will grow or at least the old will change.  With one small gesture, a bit of time and some guts.

Stats:
Daily Points - 3
Extra - 0
Bonus - 0

neighbors being neighborly.

What a difference today was.  I awoke still in a funk.  I felt drained and uneasy.  Even though I could not put my finger on the exact why, I had the general feeling that it was still do to the mom.  I could not stop thinking about it and the way that I felt.  The reaction I had yesterday shames me a bit and I just could not wrap my head around what happened exactly.  I was so excited about the prospect of changing the situation prior to leaving for the mom's house.  I had high hopes and I was going to rise above and move on.  It did not go the way I intended.  Now granted there are many, many missing details from yesterday's story - but even had I included them, it would probably have read pretty bland and as though I am making something out of nothing.  I understand this.  I logically can see that I am being a big baby, but then why can I not shake the encounter?

As I do in every situation - good or bad, I ran everything past my husband during our morning coffee pow wow. He knew how much I was dreading the afternoon and how I had been anxious over what to do and how to end it.  Being the amazing sounding board that he is, he listened to me drone on and on and on about how bizarrely bad I felt when I left.  I described how my mood changed as soon as I entered the home, how insanely tired I became half way through (my friend had to make me espresso because I suddenly could not keep my eyes open or formulate a sentence), and how worthless I felt when I left.  A feeling which kept clinging to my mind throughout the night and into this morning.  I relayed a feeling of all the energy being drained from me.  Ding! Ding!  The idea hit me that maybe that IS exactly what happened.  Maybe it was not the mom at all per say, but the fact that I lost energy.  I recalled the one previous time that I had visited my friend's house and the fact that intense sleepiness overcame me then as well.  The mom was not there at the time but still I felt drained.  Maybe it was in fact the house and not the mom.  Maybe it was both.  Who knows and really who cares?  The fact of the matter is that I feel drained after being there.  I did a quick google on energy drainers and found lots of useful information and also a lot of rubbish.  Amongst the good, I found some articles regarding wearing crystals to protect your energy.  I have never really bought into that kind of thing in the past, but am a firm believer in the fact that if you believe something to be true long enough it will become so in your mind.  I have also been keen on acquiring  a stone or some such artifact that I can relay my sense of gratitude upon.  Troy and I have been studying the law of attraction and gratitude is an idea that I am fond of.  A crystal seemed perfect and the dual purpose made the stone in mind even better.

Marnie and I had some Christmas shopping to do, so off we went with a small detour to the New Age shop in our town.  I was a bit apprehensive about going in - let's just say I am not a frequent visitor.  The staff could not have been more helpful though and they did not make me feel like a moron.  They explained crystals and stones to me and the different properties or 'powers' some have.  There was this large tree like structure that hung dozens of stone pendants from it.  The colors were amazing and I am a total sucker for anything shiny.  Both shop keepers told me to concentrate on the stones and one would appear to me.  The one I was drawn to would be the exact stone I would need.  I looked but felt nothing.  The female took a lovely green stone down - jade I think - and read me it's properties out of a book.  It was nice but not right. The male chose another green stone which was also quite lovely but not what I was looking for.  Then a stone began to glow - I shit you not - it actually glowed to me.  I pointed and asked what that stone meant and after a quick flip through the book learned that amongst many other things,  it helped  you deal with difficult people and situations.  It was to be my rock. Ironically my chosen rock was also green.  I wonder if the two helping me knew I was going to be needing a green rock or if it was mere coincidence.  I wish I had thought to ask.  A silver chain, a fairy book for the girl, and $50 later we were out the door.

Is it going to work?  Yes, sure it will.  If I believe it to it will become what I need.  I do already feel much better about the whole thing.  I came home and cleansed the rock - and by cleansing I mean I washed it in water.  I held it and thought about what I want it to do for me.  I sent waves of gratitude from my ming into the rock.  Then I went in the hot tub.

Hopefully this rock will do me some good.  An interesting side note here: After returning home, I looked up the stone and learned some more information about it's properties.  One mentioned was the fact that it has been known to help with physic abilities and communication with those who have passed on.  Wouldn't that really throw a crazy twist into this experiment if I ended up being able to talk to dead people?  We won't dwell on that however - let's move on to my act for the day.

A quick note before I start though - I have been thinking of what to call my experiment.  All over the internet there is information about random acts of kindness and paying it forward, etc.  That is not exactly what I am wanting to do here.  It is swell and all but I am not doing anything exactly randomly.  Every recipient is pre selected or at least the idea of them is.  Every act has been planned out.  As great as it is, there is no spontaneity here.  Maybe that can be implemented in the future.  As of this moment however, I have decide to call my acts Premeditated Acts of Kindness.  P.A.K. if you will.  I like this because the main change I want to implant into my life is the shifting of my focus.  From negative to positive.  From myself to others.  Random indicates that little thought is put into the actual act.  Planning ahead suggests the idea that you were thinking of that person for an amount of time and the joy you might bring them.  Random is great and I hope to do that too, but I want to be much more involved than that and maybe a year from now I will feel a bit more evolved.

Today's act was a lovely full head of highlights on my very sweet neighbor, Leah.  She lives a few doors down, has three very small children and loves to bake.  I also think she is very alone.    Leah asked a few days ago if she and the girls could come over to decorate some Christmas cookies with my kiddos.  That is one tradition that we do not normally do at our house due to not eating sugar and baking gluten free stuff  that is sugar free and has no chemicals in it sucks.  Leah however has a Celiac sister and was up for the challenge.  I asked her to come on over a bit earlier than planned so I could do her hair and she was thrilled.  The afternoon was a circus.  Little girls everywhere.  Marnie, at seven, was the oldest by more than two years and Ethan was odd man out.  There were fights and bruises were made from many a fall.  But there was more fun than furry for sure.  There was one questionable moment in which one of the children emptied out four bottles of liquid food coloring onto my dining room table and her clothing and the proceeded to sit on my red leather chaises - all whilst her mother was laying on my kitchen counter with her head in my sink.  No permanent damage though and the child was allowed to live.

It was great though.  I was able to spend a lot of time with Leah.  I have been intending on having her over for a long time - since I met her, but have just not found the time.  I think she needs a friend.  And maybe so do I.

Stats:
Daily Points - 2 (on target)
Extra - 0
Bonus - 0

Can this be done?

Well, honestly I feel a bit deflated.  I am glad I get 375 more chances to do this.  This evening's act did not go as well as I hoped but I do suppose much of that was my fault.  I have been feeling a bit ill about this encounter for a couple of days and had mere hours beforehand to try to turn it around in my head but was apparently unsuccessful.  I need to give a bit of background here, but am very wary about doing so.  I in no way wish to hurt anyone's feelings but part of this experiment is to see how events in my life over the next year unfold and how can comparisons be made if there is no 'before' to compare it to?  I will try to be a bit vague and change names without leaving out any important details.

Let's start with the call from my friend about three or four months back.  This was a call asking if I would mind coloring her mother's hair.  No, I don't mind.  Of course.  This friend of mind is a keeper.  A very generous girl whom I like very much.  She ask'd how much I would charge - Oh nothing!  I don't mind doing her hair for free... once that is.  I did not know that once would end up being once every four weeks. I attempted to arrange a barter with the mom but it has never happened.  I have continued to do her hair.  Why?  I do not know.  I am not sure of my reasoning.  Each time she calls to have me meet her once again I plan to nicely explain to her all the reasons I cannot do this.  Each time I meet her, I need to leave my family.  I also work from home, so every time I leave is time I am not spending doing what I need to be doing to earn my living.  The mom does give me $20 but that is not even 1/5 of what I would charge at the salon.

This may seem like no big deal - here I am trying to do things for other people on a continuous basis.  And I do see the irony here.  However, this mom is not destitute nor unable to pay.  She went to another girl from my salon prior to me - she merely wants to spend less and has told me so.  I also do not feel that what I am doing is very much appreciated.  In fact I feel quite the opposite.  I leave each visit feeling badly and determined that I will not do it again.  Then she calls four weeks later...

This was going to be the week.  She called a couple days ago asking if I would come over.  I agreed.  I mulled over what to say about this being my last time and all... but.... she then told me how badly she was doing because her mother died last week.  I just could not add to that.  Nope.  I caved and agreed to go.  The next day the idea for this challenge came about.  Who better to be my first act than her?  I decided to also bring her a nice plant to cheer her up a bit.

I am not quite sure what I expected.  It was not it though... I still felt badly when I left and definitely less happy than when I arrived.  I cannot do that again.  I am sure that not every deed is going to be appreciated, but I do not need to do it over and over.

I am absolutely done dwelling on this evening.  I do not want to think about this anymore.  It makes me feel bad.

Tomorrow is a new day and a new act.  I am gifting highlights to my neighbor who could not afford them otherwise.  This one I am very fond of and I am very excited to do this for her.  I promise that not every act will involve hair, but the first two just happen to fall into that category.

Stats:
Daily Points - 1
Extra - 0
Bonus - 0

A new year is a comin'...

This year has been such a huge one for me.  Best in my thirty years I would think.  My life is a culmination of great blessings, outrageous joys and limitless jubilation.  I want to share what I have.  I want to do more than share.  I want to connect with people and bring about some kindness in a local and very personal way.  I have had the thought and I feel the motivation deep within and there is nothing to do but simply act...  And act I will.  This blog is being reborn.  Right now and at this very minute.  I am committing myself here and to you.  I intend to share my love, good fortune, and abundant blessings in a big (to me at least way).  I want to document my journey to keep myself accountable, track my progress and selfishly get creative inspirations from you fine folk out there that are kind enough to read my blog.  I begin to day but first perhaps a bit of background on myself and then the rules I suppose... There may be some info on this blog about me from years ago when it first began, but I am not the same gal who discarded my happenings in the past, so some newer info may be helpful.  I am Erin.  I like to sign my name with a lowercase e however - not sure if that says anything about me or not.  I am newly 30 and very in love with my husband of 8 years (Troy).  We have two quirky and amazing children who inspire and teach me every day.  Marnie is my girl and Ethan is my boy.  They are seven and five respectively.  I am an artist most of the time, a hair stylist part of the time, and a life lover all of the time.  We live in beautiful northern Michigan and enjoy the summer months enormously.  Our dream is to one day live in small abode in Hawaii during the winter whilst homeschooling our kids and return home to our quaint town in the warmer weather.  I would love that to happen sooner rather than later, but am happily living here now.  My husband is in the restaurant business and is in the starting stages of a new venture.  We can talk about that some other time though.  We have some animals - they're pretty neat too, but I will also save them for a later date.  In an effort to stay on the path intended, I am going to move onto the rules... but first let me say that I reserve the right to amend these at any time if I deem fit.  Okay, here we go:

I will preform an act of kindness at least once a day for the next 376 days.  That will take us to the 1st of January 2013.  I do not want to wait until the New Year.

I will preform an additional 24 acts of kindness throughout the year to bring my goal up to 400.  I can go over but there is no banking of points.  One act must be done, regardless of how small, each and every day.

I will encourage and attempt to inspire my husband and children to follow my lead and keep track of their happenings with *bonus* points.  Their acts are simply that - bonus.  They will not count towards my own goals.

There is no prize at the end.  I truly am doing this just to share and in my deepest of hopes - maybe inspire.

I will record my doings here.  I am shooting for daily but blogging is not the most important part of this challenge.  I will be completely honest with you - even if I am doing poorly.  I pray for myself that it will not be the case however.  I am also going to write a lot about my daily life and what is going on in it.  Part of this experiment is seeing how this project changes my family and specifically myself.  At this exact moment I do not have a sad story.  My life is pretty great and happy.  What can happen in a year?  I am curious too.

In regards to being completely honest in my posts - I may need to change some names.  I do not want to embarrass anyone and I do indeed plan on smothering people I know in kindness as well.  You are just going to have to be okay with that.  I am also going to try to keep my activities local.  I love big charities and think they do a lot of good, but I want to see what I can do here in my hometown.  I also want everyone to benefit not solely the destitute.  We try to buy locally as much as possible so why not also give locally as much as possible?

I am sure I am going to have more to add but for now that shall do.  I am off to do my first act and will be back later this evening with the tale.

renting blows.

I forgot how much I hate being a renter.  I forgot how much you stop caring about your surroundings.  Color is a huge love in my life.  It is a mood changer - a deal breaker.  We were told we could paint the walls in this house, but really - who wants to spend money on someone else's investment?  Not I, Small Fry.  And yet the house now feels lonesome and without character.  It is cozy and the wood work saves it from being entirely dismal, but it does give me a bit of the wanderlust.  We still are the notsopround owners of a lovely home in LaPorte, Indiana.  Yeah.  We have renters in the house now and the do not suck so bad.  Consistently a few days late on their rent, but so far nothing worse has arose.  I want to sell that house.  I want to buy another.  Everywhere I turn I find yet another beautiful home in a beautiful neighborhood that calls my name.  I am obsessed.  I search real estate listings over and over to see if anything new has popped up.  Now that I am also working full time, our budget has also increased.  Homes this go around are much more appealing than last.  Goodbye to having only one bathroom...  I need a real estate agent.

a week in photos.

Humph.  This really should be multiple posts, but I have been busy.  And lazy.  It's been kind of a crappy week out, so we have been craftin' it up around here.  Working on lots-o-goodies.  I have been a bit frantic to produce some beauty as of late and I am beginning to think it is because I am anticipating the dreariness of winter.  I know it is not even August quite yet, but I can feel the cold coming.  Winter is lurking.  And where winter lurks, dark and dreary gray days follow.  I want lots of color and happiness on our walls.  Let us begin.

This project is not for my walls.  Nor did I make it this week.  I actually gave it away to a sweet baby cherub a couple of weeks ago, but the pictures were still on my camera and they needed to be shared somewhere dagnabit.  Not my usual fare, but I fell in love with the wee one Lila in utero of one of my favorite ladies on this earth - so an exception was made.  The three girls in the center are embroidered from a pattern purchased here .  I had a feeling Lila would indeed be a girlie, so I began stitching them up a bit ago.  The quilled cards came later.

Excuse the shadow of my large head.  Oh well.

These are my attempt at Roses.  Um, I know.  

        

At least it's better than a baby blanket.  Guess how many baby blankets I was given when Ethan was born?  17.  Yup.

Next up is Troy's current Food Porn submission.  If you do not know about this website, well then you are like the rest of us - normal.  My husband however is obsessed.  It's not enough to be geeked out on artsy food all of the time, now he has to whore it out.  He has not had a photo accepted yet, but he is a determined little fellow.  Below is this past Tuesday's dinner of mushroom crusted rack of lamb with a leek puree, roasted shitake mushrooms and some sort of potato/squash deal.  

                                        

Our house, which we rent is on 23 acres.  Waaaay out.  Unfortunately however - our neighbor's house is right across the drive.  They are positioned to look right into our living room if they so desired.  To boot, our landlord also has his cabinet making business on the property and is here multiple times a week.  Not really the private setting we had anticipated when moving in, but alas.  We could keep the shades drawn and live like hermits, but that's not really my style.  I got the bright idea this week to make window art with the kids that would add some color to our inside world and keep some of the peepers out.  This attempt was both successful and a bit dismal.   My idea was to create 'stained glass' dots to hang on four sets of windows by melting crayons inside of waxed paper and then cutting to shape.  Easy enough.  I remember doing similar projects as a child, so how hard can it be?  Um, hard.  I bought way too many crayons, ruined a sheet, pillowcase, and my iron.  And disappointed my children due to my promise that they may iron said wax paper thingies and then getting pissed off at the mess I was making and not letting them.  Seriously it was a huge freaking mess.  Wax everywhere.  I will not do this project again.  Ever.

All the hard work and none of the fun.  It took them forever to peel all of those crayons and I think we used about eight.  

This picture does not do them justice - the dots are actually very pretty from the inside looking out.  Lots of variation in color and texture.  I was hoping it would shine color dots around the room when the sun hit, but that does not happen at all.  The other thing that sucks is how the dots appear from the exterior of the house.  They might as well be construction paper.  Not so much artsy as tacky.

Recently Troy and I decide we no longer wished to hang reproductions on our walls and would instead favor only originals - be it our own or other artist's.  In way of this new movement, we are also re-purposing some of the pictures we currently have hanging.  With the exception of one, I am very tired of the 'art' we have up.  I am also trying not to spend much money, so we have had to get a bit creative.  Our first attempt is a collective painting.  The original work was a painting I bought off Ebay a decade ago.  We first primed over it and then cut and glued foam shapes to it's surface.

The colors of the foam do not really matter since they will eventually be covered by paint, but I thought it would be more interesting for the kids to kind of see what direction we are heading.  The foam is merely there to provide dimension.  Next comes the puff paint.  Lots of puff paint.

The first phase is done, but I think it needs to fully dry before moving on.  It has been 24 hours and it is still very wet.  I bet it will be at least another 2 days before we can move on to the flowers.  I know I should have, but I did not anticipate the weight of this picture.  The paint is so heavy.

        

On a dissimilar note, I attempted to dye a dress for my cousin's upcoming wedding.  Marnie is the flower girl and we were asked to color the dress she wore in my brother's wedding last year to match their theme.  This obviously is not going to work out.

                                                    
I'm not exactly sure what happened here.  Parts of the dress just did not color at all.  Such a bummer.  Now I need to find another dress for her to wear and I do not want to.  I do not want to!! Urg.


My last photo for the day is a glimpse at my current quill work in progress.  A tree obviously.  I hope to finish this by the end of the week and then off to the framer's.  I am itching to start a bigger one.  

It's hard to see the detail.  I'll get better pictures up when it's done.

Try, try and try again.

We'll give it yet another go round to see if we can make this blog thing work. It is funny to look back at my previous two attempts and see how different life is now. Too much to post at once. Much sadness and much happiness as well. We shall see what this turn brings about.

After a busy and crazy week, Troy and I figured we'd reward ourselves and head out early this morning for the farmer's market in a nearby town. What a treat compared to the diddly-shit version we have here. We drove by the local market this morning and there were 3 tents and a couple buckets. I want to shop as locally as possible - but it is sad that I have to travel 12 miles to do so. All of the the farmers who live near us were at the other market. I cannot blame them really - it was boomin'. It was everything I hoped it would be. Love in veggie form. We munched on pastry while perusing the amazing cheeses, heirloom produce and free-range organic meats. We were like kiddos hyped on cotton candy. Many great finds were had, but I have to say that this one was by far my favorite:

What is this big block-o-crap you ask? Ahh, my little friend - 'tis not crap but in fact a block for little mushroom beauties to grow. While sampling some of the yummiest shiitakes ever - the mushroom seductress behind the counter did some mind voodoo and in in a haze I was walking away with this beauty. No mind. I am pretty excited to see what happens. I have to soak it 3 times daily until the shroomletes begin to emerge and then they should be ready to harvest in 7-10 days. We shall see...