Anyhoo, we went trick-or-treating to a whole 5 houses before returning home. It was freezing outside and I think my poor son was about to die. Troy and I each took a kid to ready up for the outing - Marnie fell to me because she decided last minute to be a lion - the same exact costume she wore last year. Blech. She insisted this year WAS different because this year she was going to be a girl lion. No matter that the costume has a sewn in mane. Semantics Mom. A girl lion is apparently differentiated by the makeup on her face, hence Marnie being my responsibility. If left to Troy, she would have been a tranny lion - actually that may have been more appropriate given the mane, but I digress. Troy in turn took Ethan who chose to be an alligator. Given that Troy will be 30 next week, has been a father for almost five years and has been with my anal ass for 8 - I have come to trust him to do small tasks. Perhaps a mistake on my part. I finish dressing my gender confused lion, see that Ethan is Alligator looking, snap a few photos and we are out the door. Two blocks in, Ethan starts noticeably shaking. I mention that we should probably head back home since it is so cold out. Yes, Troy agrees. After all Ethan only has a diaper on beneath his costume. Stop. Blink. Blink. No winter coat? A sweater? A pair of pants? It was 56 degrees when taking pictures on our stoop. Troy defends himself by informing me that he and his brother never had to wear anything under their costumes on Halloween growing up. I remind him that he grew up in southern Mississippi and that he now lives in the midwest and has done so for 10 years. Nothing. Blank stare.
Troy was not the disturbing part of my fake-Halloween Halloween though. The really odd part came after we returned and set ourselves up to hand out candy to all the little treat seeking kiddos that would pass our house. At least that is what I bought the candy for. In reality, I think we had an entire 4 children in costume come to our door. I did however have 5 different mothers, at different times throughout the evening - pushing infants in strollers, without any other children in sight, appear with bags asking for candy. These babies were in no way old enough to eat mashed peas - candy would kill them. It was really bizarre. If it was just one, I would shrug it off and toss it in the annoying Halloween category - you know, the one where kids without costumes and the ones sporting boobs and mustaches go, but five? That's a bit more than strange. Most of them also went into these 'cutesy' little voices as if speaking for the baby. I'd have rather they just flashed a gun and demand all my candy. That would have spooked me less.
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