My vision is changing. My eyesight is the same but how I see is different. I look at you and I see something that I didn't notice before. I in turn feel something I have never felt before. I do not know how to describe it well but it fills me with warmth and sheer joy. I cannot help but smile. I smile at you, I smile at strangers. It is new and I think I am enjoying it.
I did an act for my friend today. She is one of my dearest friends from waaay on back when big hair was cool the first time around. She traveled some distance to see me and as always I was overjoyed to spend some time with her. She met me at the salon and I turned her into one hot mama. It was fun and I am glad I had the opportunity to spoil her a bit.
My moment of awe however came not with my friend, but with the client I serviced before her. A client that I have worked on many times before and definitely enjoyed, but had never thought much more about it that that. Today when she walked through the doors I felt warmth and kindness. I wanted to give her the best experience and let it be known that she was cared about. I always do my absolute best and continued to do so, but as she spoke as I worked I listened. I mean really listened and cared about every word that was said. I took extra steps to show I cared... and I do. After massaging her head at the shampoo bowl, I brought a hot steam towel over her brow. I firmly pressed the the steam into her skin and chanted in my head with each slow press "I wish you well, I wish you joy, I wish you comfort". I did not even notice that I was doing it until after I removed the towel. I realized it was true.
I enjoyed myself today. I laughed and I felt true joy. I was happy to be where I was and I wished happiness for others. Pleasure.
Stats:
Daily Points - 8
Extra - 1
Bonus - 0
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
lotto and run.
Let me tell you about Christmas Eve. I have, in the past, adopted families for Christmas and bought toys for needy tots. I have participated in Operation Christmas Child and picked angel ornaments off trees in order to provide a gift for someone who otherwise might not have received one. One year I even organized a 'Cut-A-Thon' in which a bunch of stylists and myself did haircuts on the masses from our town and then donated the proceeds to a family of four boys whose mom dies of brain cancer a week before Christmas. I am no stranger to harnessing the power of the Christmas Spirit. However, never have I left my good deeds up to fate the way my family and I did on Christmas Eve and as my project intends. Never have I given willy nilly without any background information or careful selection of the recipient. It was shakes inducing and my trust was absolutely tested.
As I wrote in an earlier post, the fam and I decided to put $100 towards a random stranger's purchase at our local discount super center. This idea in theory sounded like a great idea. We have donated much more money to adopted families in Christmas' past than $100, so what's the big deal? There have many stories on the news reporting that people were paying off random layaways. I think that is a fabulous idea and I wish we had thought about it prior to Christmas Eve. Layaway gives me the impression that a person likely has need to pay a big purchase off over a few smaller payments. This gives the giver some sort of indication that the gift may be appreciated. It's like insurance. We decided not to take out that policy though. I did not happen to hear of the trend until the night prior to Christmas Eve and by that time I would assume that most people have collected their goods in order to wrap them for the big day. If by some chance there were a few left at the store, I would think it likely they would forever remain at the store - unclaimed. I did that once. I tried on and loved something like 20 dresses when I was a teenager and put them all on layaway. I handed over the $40 I had at the time and promised to pay the rest of eventually. I never went back. In fact I moved out of state. Good intentions but I couldn't follow through. That would be my biggest worry - that I would pay it, it would go unclaimed and then the big corporate store would get to keep my money AND the stuff. I understand that it is about the action and not what happens with the gift, but I am still working on that.
So instead, we went with a donation towards a real, live, in the flesh kind of person who was finishing up their procrastination shopping. We had discussed the few ways in which we could make the payment without rejection or causing the receiver any embarrassment. We decided the best way was to purchase a gift card and then on our way out of the store give it to someone in the checkout lane with the tagline: "There is a couple of bucks left on this, would you like it? We don't get to this side of town often." Simple, yes? Well that was the plan.
We arrived at the strip mall where the store is located and split up. Troy took the kids to the dollar store where they needed to buy a few last minute gifts and I headed to the superstore to pick up some items for dinner the next day and the gift card. As soon as I walked through the sliding doors my stomach began to rumble and I felt sick and nervous. $100 is a lot of money to just give to someone for no reason. I mean, what if the universe is not listening and we choose the wrong person? Like a child molester or a Republican. It was such a crapshoot. I silently asked for a sign. At that moment I looked up and spotted my cousin Barb. Barb lives in the Upper Penninsula of Michigan in a town many hours away from us. Her parents live in a town nearby, but we never see them. I stopped her and we embraced and talked of life. She told me she was just thinking of my dad (he died in an accident of sorts in June 2009). I told her I had just been thinking of her the day before. I had a previous by chance run in with her the year prior at a different store and had been wondering if she was in town. It is amazing how such things work that way. We exchanged digits and parted ways. I finished my shopping a neared the checkout. The gift cards live there. Sucking in a deep breath, I picked one up. Surely that was a sign. Or was it a coincidence? By leap of faith I bought that card.
I trekked down the cement walk that linked each store entrance to the next. I contemplated my nervous tummy and what it meant. Spying the up coming bookstore that was in my path, I decided to dash in for a cup of coffee before meeting the rest of my troop and carrying out our mission. Someone was ordering and I fell in line behind him. He was inquisitive and asking the barista many questions about the pastry. I paid attention and little attention and then great attention as I noticed that he too was yet another one of my father's cousins. This one I had not laid eyes on since the day we laid my father to rest. It was lovely to see him and it calmed my nervous stomach as well as my spirit. Of course there are greater things at work than me and my selfish worries. There is a plan. I can either be part of the good or step back and let life happen beside me. That is my role and I get to choose. After wishing my cousin a Merry Christmas, I skipped like a six year old out of the store to gather my brood.
We stalked the crowds of the superstore upon our return and looked for the perfect scenario. We headed to the toy section first but found it nearly empty. We moved on to the groceries only to discover many carts filled with two or three items each. Everyone was on their game this year. No procrastinators to be found. Ethan had a bit of money burning in his pocket and had the desire for a wallet, so we decided to allow him to make his purchase and then intended to wait up in the front of the store where we would have a better view of the registers. On our way to cash out we saw her. A lovely lady checking out by herself. The grocery belt was full of goods as was her cart. There were toys and food and boxed gifts with included tags. She was perfect. Ethan paid and then displayed his bag as if to show 'See? We really did do some shopping'. Quickly and without thinking I slip in beside her at the register and gave her my line about the few bucks left on the card. She took it and we scrambled out the door before she could finish loading her cart back up with her bagged goods. Did she appreciate it? I don't know. We left. Does it matter? No, it doesn't. We gave and that is indeed what matters. I hope she did and I can dream she did. But the lesson is the same to my children regardless of the outcome. The lesson is the same to me too.
As for today, I did a fun little give. I am sure this will be a repeat offender as I found childlike joy in the activity. I bought some scratch off lotto tickets and then left them under the wipers of a few cars. I attacked at the bank and then again at the courthouse. I had to open my business account and apply for my DBA respectively and incorporated my acts. There was a fun element of sneakiness due to the fact that there are lots of people just sitting in cars in the parking lots of both places. People do not take kindly to you messing with cars, so doing business quickly and then running away so you are not caught is the best option in my opinion. It was fun and each time I left one my daughter squealed with absolute delight. The fun is rubbing off already.
Stats:
Daily Points - 7
Extra - 1
Bonus - 0
As I wrote in an earlier post, the fam and I decided to put $100 towards a random stranger's purchase at our local discount super center. This idea in theory sounded like a great idea. We have donated much more money to adopted families in Christmas' past than $100, so what's the big deal? There have many stories on the news reporting that people were paying off random layaways. I think that is a fabulous idea and I wish we had thought about it prior to Christmas Eve. Layaway gives me the impression that a person likely has need to pay a big purchase off over a few smaller payments. This gives the giver some sort of indication that the gift may be appreciated. It's like insurance. We decided not to take out that policy though. I did not happen to hear of the trend until the night prior to Christmas Eve and by that time I would assume that most people have collected their goods in order to wrap them for the big day. If by some chance there were a few left at the store, I would think it likely they would forever remain at the store - unclaimed. I did that once. I tried on and loved something like 20 dresses when I was a teenager and put them all on layaway. I handed over the $40 I had at the time and promised to pay the rest of eventually. I never went back. In fact I moved out of state. Good intentions but I couldn't follow through. That would be my biggest worry - that I would pay it, it would go unclaimed and then the big corporate store would get to keep my money AND the stuff. I understand that it is about the action and not what happens with the gift, but I am still working on that.
So instead, we went with a donation towards a real, live, in the flesh kind of person who was finishing up their procrastination shopping. We had discussed the few ways in which we could make the payment without rejection or causing the receiver any embarrassment. We decided the best way was to purchase a gift card and then on our way out of the store give it to someone in the checkout lane with the tagline: "There is a couple of bucks left on this, would you like it? We don't get to this side of town often." Simple, yes? Well that was the plan.
We arrived at the strip mall where the store is located and split up. Troy took the kids to the dollar store where they needed to buy a few last minute gifts and I headed to the superstore to pick up some items for dinner the next day and the gift card. As soon as I walked through the sliding doors my stomach began to rumble and I felt sick and nervous. $100 is a lot of money to just give to someone for no reason. I mean, what if the universe is not listening and we choose the wrong person? Like a child molester or a Republican. It was such a crapshoot. I silently asked for a sign. At that moment I looked up and spotted my cousin Barb. Barb lives in the Upper Penninsula of Michigan in a town many hours away from us. Her parents live in a town nearby, but we never see them. I stopped her and we embraced and talked of life. She told me she was just thinking of my dad (he died in an accident of sorts in June 2009). I told her I had just been thinking of her the day before. I had a previous by chance run in with her the year prior at a different store and had been wondering if she was in town. It is amazing how such things work that way. We exchanged digits and parted ways. I finished my shopping a neared the checkout. The gift cards live there. Sucking in a deep breath, I picked one up. Surely that was a sign. Or was it a coincidence? By leap of faith I bought that card.
I trekked down the cement walk that linked each store entrance to the next. I contemplated my nervous tummy and what it meant. Spying the up coming bookstore that was in my path, I decided to dash in for a cup of coffee before meeting the rest of my troop and carrying out our mission. Someone was ordering and I fell in line behind him. He was inquisitive and asking the barista many questions about the pastry. I paid attention and little attention and then great attention as I noticed that he too was yet another one of my father's cousins. This one I had not laid eyes on since the day we laid my father to rest. It was lovely to see him and it calmed my nervous stomach as well as my spirit. Of course there are greater things at work than me and my selfish worries. There is a plan. I can either be part of the good or step back and let life happen beside me. That is my role and I get to choose. After wishing my cousin a Merry Christmas, I skipped like a six year old out of the store to gather my brood.
We stalked the crowds of the superstore upon our return and looked for the perfect scenario. We headed to the toy section first but found it nearly empty. We moved on to the groceries only to discover many carts filled with two or three items each. Everyone was on their game this year. No procrastinators to be found. Ethan had a bit of money burning in his pocket and had the desire for a wallet, so we decided to allow him to make his purchase and then intended to wait up in the front of the store where we would have a better view of the registers. On our way to cash out we saw her. A lovely lady checking out by herself. The grocery belt was full of goods as was her cart. There were toys and food and boxed gifts with included tags. She was perfect. Ethan paid and then displayed his bag as if to show 'See? We really did do some shopping'. Quickly and without thinking I slip in beside her at the register and gave her my line about the few bucks left on the card. She took it and we scrambled out the door before she could finish loading her cart back up with her bagged goods. Did she appreciate it? I don't know. We left. Does it matter? No, it doesn't. We gave and that is indeed what matters. I hope she did and I can dream she did. But the lesson is the same to my children regardless of the outcome. The lesson is the same to me too.
As for today, I did a fun little give. I am sure this will be a repeat offender as I found childlike joy in the activity. I bought some scratch off lotto tickets and then left them under the wipers of a few cars. I attacked at the bank and then again at the courthouse. I had to open my business account and apply for my DBA respectively and incorporated my acts. There was a fun element of sneakiness due to the fact that there are lots of people just sitting in cars in the parking lots of both places. People do not take kindly to you messing with cars, so doing business quickly and then running away so you are not caught is the best option in my opinion. It was fun and each time I left one my daughter squealed with absolute delight. The fun is rubbing off already.
Stats:
Daily Points - 7
Extra - 1
Bonus - 0
Monday, December 26, 2011
My Christmas moment moment.
Today was a day filled with clearing. Clearing of the home, clearing of the mind. I am preparing for a new year and am excited about all of the changes coming our way. I feel a need to prepare. We removed all of our gaudy Christmas decorations today. Although they were thoroughly enjoyed and will be greatly missed until next year, I feel that this hour is the first I have been able to truly concentrate and think straight since the day after Thanksgiving. It is wonderful to look out over my home and feel a sense of order and calm. It is a new day and I am excited.
One down point to my hunkering down and cleaning the Curet household is that... well, I never left it. I often do not leave home on a daily basis and once in awhile I may be home for an entire week - gasp! I know. I work from home mostly and I really, really like it here. This may not be much of an issue in my previous state of existence, but now I have a daily task to accomplish that I assumed I would need to leave to house for. I had a small panic attack this afternoon while contemplating this query. I should have known however that my answer would come to me as so many answers do... google. Of course there are ways to please people via the World Wide Web. I can, on lazy days, favor people in a multitude of ways with the click of some keys. This pleases me on so many levels.
Fear not my friends, I do not plan on never leaving my home again and helping out people in the flesh. I do however plan on using the internet to insure I do something every day.
Today I did a blog search. I went in search of a start up blog like my own that has no readers (like my own) as of the moment. My plan was to read a few and leave some nice comments of encouragement. Instead I found this one: http://www.mychristmasmoment.com/ There is not really a space to comment, so I thought perhaps an actual entry may be of more encouragement. This is something I would never normally do. I am not a participator. I have no need or want to share my Christmas moment. I replied merely to make the owner of the blog happy. There is a delay, but as soon as my musings are up I will let you all know. I am sure you are dying with anticipation.
Tomorrow I am opening a business account. This is something I am very excited about. I have never had a business account nor need for one - but now I do. A few years ago while looking for some kind of project for Marnie and I to do together, I stumbled upon a paper craft called quilling. While the tradition methods are of little interest to me, I fell in love with the craft and began making large wall art using the amazing paper coils. It has provided me with enormous amounts of joy but besides appearing in a few shows, has not made me a profit. I recently began using my skills to make jewelry using the same techniques and have found an entirely new level of happiness. People are loving what I am making and buying up all of my goods. It is the most glorious thing. Seeing people's reactions when they notice my designs is one of the best feelings. Second to how I feel when I see them wearing them. I have pride and it feels amazing. I want my business to grow a bit and become more legit. The lovely salon in which I work has agreed to carry my earrings and most of the girls I work with now own a pair. I would love to carry them in a couple of stores in our downtown as well and perhaps even a gallery. For now though I am grateful for the business account and the business cards that are on their way. I am in the beginning stages of planning a small remodel in our basement and creating a studio space for myself. I am wanting to put more focus on turning my passion from a hobby into a business and I feel that requires a more serious space. At the moment I have been working out of our bedroom using a lowered ironing board as a table. I am excited to see where this will grow. As a bonus to the renovations, Ethan is changing rooms to the largest which is also on the lowest level. He is excited as he will now have room to have an indoor play structure. I am excited because his old room will soon be a new walk in closet for the hubs and I. A new space for a new year and I am so excited to see what else follows!
Stats:
Daily Points - 6
Extra - 1
Bonus - 0
One down point to my hunkering down and cleaning the Curet household is that... well, I never left it. I often do not leave home on a daily basis and once in awhile I may be home for an entire week - gasp! I know. I work from home mostly and I really, really like it here. This may not be much of an issue in my previous state of existence, but now I have a daily task to accomplish that I assumed I would need to leave to house for. I had a small panic attack this afternoon while contemplating this query. I should have known however that my answer would come to me as so many answers do... google. Of course there are ways to please people via the World Wide Web. I can, on lazy days, favor people in a multitude of ways with the click of some keys. This pleases me on so many levels.
Fear not my friends, I do not plan on never leaving my home again and helping out people in the flesh. I do however plan on using the internet to insure I do something every day.
Today I did a blog search. I went in search of a start up blog like my own that has no readers (like my own) as of the moment. My plan was to read a few and leave some nice comments of encouragement. Instead I found this one: http://www.mychristmasmoment.com/ There is not really a space to comment, so I thought perhaps an actual entry may be of more encouragement. This is something I would never normally do. I am not a participator. I have no need or want to share my Christmas moment. I replied merely to make the owner of the blog happy. There is a delay, but as soon as my musings are up I will let you all know. I am sure you are dying with anticipation.
Tomorrow I am opening a business account. This is something I am very excited about. I have never had a business account nor need for one - but now I do. A few years ago while looking for some kind of project for Marnie and I to do together, I stumbled upon a paper craft called quilling. While the tradition methods are of little interest to me, I fell in love with the craft and began making large wall art using the amazing paper coils. It has provided me with enormous amounts of joy but besides appearing in a few shows, has not made me a profit. I recently began using my skills to make jewelry using the same techniques and have found an entirely new level of happiness. People are loving what I am making and buying up all of my goods. It is the most glorious thing. Seeing people's reactions when they notice my designs is one of the best feelings. Second to how I feel when I see them wearing them. I have pride and it feels amazing. I want my business to grow a bit and become more legit. The lovely salon in which I work has agreed to carry my earrings and most of the girls I work with now own a pair. I would love to carry them in a couple of stores in our downtown as well and perhaps even a gallery. For now though I am grateful for the business account and the business cards that are on their way. I am in the beginning stages of planning a small remodel in our basement and creating a studio space for myself. I am wanting to put more focus on turning my passion from a hobby into a business and I feel that requires a more serious space. At the moment I have been working out of our bedroom using a lowered ironing board as a table. I am excited to see where this will grow. As a bonus to the renovations, Ethan is changing rooms to the largest which is also on the lowest level. He is excited as he will now have room to have an indoor play structure. I am excited because his old room will soon be a new walk in closet for the hubs and I. A new space for a new year and I am so excited to see what else follows!
Stats:
Daily Points - 6
Extra - 1
Bonus - 0
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Christmas came and all I got was working at this crummy job.
Merry Christmas! I absolutely need to do some research on things I can do for people that A) Don't cost a bizillion dollars and B) Can be done without a ton of planning for days like today. Options were limited today but I didn't want to be lame and claim the giving of presents was my give. I truly procrastinated and did not have anything pre thought out to do. I could have easily blown it. On day 5 too. That would have been an epic fail. I made it though. On the way to family's for dinner, Troy commented how much it sucked to work at the movie store since they were actually open on Christmas day. That is insane. I do not want to even support that company since they obviously value a dollar more that the people they have working for them. On the return trip, we stopped at the only other place open today - Speedway - and (after buying 2 Mega Lottery tickets) bout a package of oatmeal raisin cookies. Marnie and I then ran into the video store and told the poor fellow behind the counter how sorry we were that he had to be working and that we brought him some cookies. He looked a bit shocked but responded with thanks and a Merry Christmas. We then ran out the door.
I have two really big ones to do this week coming up. I am pretty excited about one of them in particular. I am really enjoying the process of thinking about giving so frequently. If nothing else, that is time not thinking about myself, yes? The kids are already catching on and have agreed to begin giving away 10% of any money they earn. They have money coming in on a regular basis, so I think this is fair. Both Troy and I have our own businesses and each kid 'owns' 2% of each. We work together as a family, so we feel it is fair that they earn as well. Troy and I have made the decision for the first time in our lives that it is time for us to tithe 10% of our income on a weekly basis. My project is above and beyond that amount, but I like to think of it as backpay. We do not attend church on a very regular basis, and I am not sure if we ever will, but I do think we owe 10% to someone and the church is a good place for it to go. I just need to convince them to put a donate button on their webpage so I do not need to check in every Sunday. Anyhoo, the kids are tossing many ideas around about what they want to do with the percentage they have from all of their Christmas cash. They kind of banked this year, so they each have about $15 to spend on acts. Some interesting ideas have been popping up and I cannot wait to see what the final decision is.
Troy is jumping on board a little bit too. He is the headliner in one of the big ones coming up. He is very nervous but trusting that this will be good for us. He deserves his own post however, so I will leave it at that for now.
Stats:
Daily Points - 5
Extra - 1
Bonus - 0
I have two really big ones to do this week coming up. I am pretty excited about one of them in particular. I am really enjoying the process of thinking about giving so frequently. If nothing else, that is time not thinking about myself, yes? The kids are already catching on and have agreed to begin giving away 10% of any money they earn. They have money coming in on a regular basis, so I think this is fair. Both Troy and I have our own businesses and each kid 'owns' 2% of each. We work together as a family, so we feel it is fair that they earn as well. Troy and I have made the decision for the first time in our lives that it is time for us to tithe 10% of our income on a weekly basis. My project is above and beyond that amount, but I like to think of it as backpay. We do not attend church on a very regular basis, and I am not sure if we ever will, but I do think we owe 10% to someone and the church is a good place for it to go. I just need to convince them to put a donate button on their webpage so I do not need to check in every Sunday. Anyhoo, the kids are tossing many ideas around about what they want to do with the percentage they have from all of their Christmas cash. They kind of banked this year, so they each have about $15 to spend on acts. Some interesting ideas have been popping up and I cannot wait to see what the final decision is.
Troy is jumping on board a little bit too. He is the headliner in one of the big ones coming up. He is very nervous but trusting that this will be good for us. He deserves his own post however, so I will leave it at that for now.
Stats:
Daily Points - 5
Extra - 1
Bonus - 0
Saturday, December 24, 2011
big breath in....
I likely will not be able to post later today due to the holiday, so I will just let you know what my act of the day will be and then I can fill you in on the details some other time...
The whole family is taking a trip over to the local maya discount shopping center where we will buy a $100 gift card. We will then politely stalk out our unsuspecting prey and wait for them to check out. Looking as if we are leaving the store, we will approach our person (people) and ask if they would like to use the remainder of our gift card as there is only a couple of bucks on it and we do not usually frequent that particular store. Then we run out the front door and leave. I hope it goes as smoothly as it does in my head. I also hope my children don't geek out with excitement and blow our cover. This will be their first 'secret' give.
Merry Christmas!
Stats:
Daily Points - 4
Extra - 1*
Bonus - 0
* Got a coffee from the book store that cost a little more than $1. Paid with a $5 and left the barista all of the change. Maybe not a big deal, but they cannot ALL be big and it is something I would absolutely not have done before.
The whole family is taking a trip over to the local maya discount shopping center where we will buy a $100 gift card. We will then politely stalk out our unsuspecting prey and wait for them to check out. Looking as if we are leaving the store, we will approach our person (people) and ask if they would like to use the remainder of our gift card as there is only a couple of bucks on it and we do not usually frequent that particular store. Then we run out the front door and leave. I hope it goes as smoothly as it does in my head. I also hope my children don't geek out with excitement and blow our cover. This will be their first 'secret' give.
Merry Christmas!
Stats:
Daily Points - 4
Extra - 1*
Bonus - 0
* Got a coffee from the book store that cost a little more than $1. Paid with a $5 and left the barista all of the change. Maybe not a big deal, but they cannot ALL be big and it is something I would absolutely not have done before.
Friday, December 23, 2011
she likes me, she likes me not.
Today's act was a success and it felt good to do. It is tricky to pull off acts of kindness this time of year since most people assume it is a Christmas present or some such thing. It doesn't really matter what the thoughts are behind the receiver though I suppose - only the fact that I gave in the first place. I have been trying to find ideas online about different ways I can surprise people with kind gestures. Todays was pulled from one of the lists I read. It had suggested giving flowers to a person at work that is normally over looked and under appreciated. Seeing as I work in a salon, that would absolutely be the receptionist. I called ahead by a few days to find out who was working and learned there would actually be two today. One is a sweetheart and very easy to give to. The other... well, let's just say that we have clashing personalities and try to avoid one another whenever possible. This is felt on both sides I am sure. An act is an act however, so I put on my big girl panties and decided to give to both. I went out the other day and bought vases and some lovely river rocks. I purchased two very pretty bouquets in a holiday theme. I decided that in addition to the flowers, a personalized card of thanks would really put some emphasis on how much they are appreciated. The one was easy. The second required a little rubbing of my gratitude rock, but eventually the words came and I truly did have feelings of appreciation and wishes of joy for her and her family.
The easy one was there when I arrived and reacted exactly as you would assume one would. The other arrived a few hours later - grumpy. It was time for me to leave, so I took a private moment in another room to ground myself and make the choice that her mood would not effect me. I gathered myself up and left for the day - not knowing if she even saw her flowers.
A few hours later I got a call. It was a very nice call. She told me about the bad week she was having and that perhaps the flowers made it a bit better. I wished her a merry Christmas and that was that. Maybe the seed has been planted. Maybe a new relationship will grow or at least the old will change. With one small gesture, a bit of time and some guts.
Stats:
Daily Points - 3
Extra - 0
Bonus - 0
The easy one was there when I arrived and reacted exactly as you would assume one would. The other arrived a few hours later - grumpy. It was time for me to leave, so I took a private moment in another room to ground myself and make the choice that her mood would not effect me. I gathered myself up and left for the day - not knowing if she even saw her flowers.
A few hours later I got a call. It was a very nice call. She told me about the bad week she was having and that perhaps the flowers made it a bit better. I wished her a merry Christmas and that was that. Maybe the seed has been planted. Maybe a new relationship will grow or at least the old will change. With one small gesture, a bit of time and some guts.
Stats:
Daily Points - 3
Extra - 0
Bonus - 0
Thursday, December 22, 2011
neighbors being neighborly.
What a difference today was. I awoke still in a funk. I felt drained and uneasy. Even though I could not put my finger on the exact why, I had the general feeling that it was still do to the mom. I could not stop thinking about it and the way that I felt. The reaction I had yesterday shames me a bit and I just could not wrap my head around what happened exactly. I was so excited about the prospect of changing the situation prior to leaving for the mom's house. I had high hopes and I was going to rise above and move on. It did not go the way I intended. Now granted there are many, many missing details from yesterday's story - but even had I included them, it would probably have read pretty bland and as though I am making something out of nothing. I understand this. I logically can see that I am being a big baby, but then why can I not shake the encounter?
As I do in every situation - good or bad, I ran everything past my husband during our morning coffee pow wow. He knew how much I was dreading the afternoon and how I had been anxious over what to do and how to end it. Being the amazing sounding board that he is, he listened to me drone on and on and on about how bizarrely bad I felt when I left. I described how my mood changed as soon as I entered the home, how insanely tired I became half way through (my friend had to make me espresso because I suddenly could not keep my eyes open or formulate a sentence), and how worthless I felt when I left. A feeling which kept clinging to my mind throughout the night and into this morning. I relayed a feeling of all the energy being drained from me. Ding! Ding! The idea hit me that maybe that IS exactly what happened. Maybe it was not the mom at all per say, but the fact that I lost energy. I recalled the one previous time that I had visited my friend's house and the fact that intense sleepiness overcame me then as well. The mom was not there at the time but still I felt drained. Maybe it was in fact the house and not the mom. Maybe it was both. Who knows and really who cares? The fact of the matter is that I feel drained after being there. I did a quick google on energy drainers and found lots of useful information and also a lot of rubbish. Amongst the good, I found some articles regarding wearing crystals to protect your energy. I have never really bought into that kind of thing in the past, but am a firm believer in the fact that if you believe something to be true long enough it will become so in your mind. I have also been keen on acquiring a stone or some such artifact that I can relay my sense of gratitude upon. Troy and I have been studying the law of attraction and gratitude is an idea that I am fond of. A crystal seemed perfect and the dual purpose made the stone in mind even better.
Marnie and I had some Christmas shopping to do, so off we went with a small detour to the New Age shop in our town. I was a bit apprehensive about going in - let's just say I am not a frequent visitor. The staff could not have been more helpful though and they did not make me feel like a moron. They explained crystals and stones to me and the different properties or 'powers' some have. There was this large tree like structure that hung dozens of stone pendants from it. The colors were amazing and I am a total sucker for anything shiny. Both shop keepers told me to concentrate on the stones and one would appear to me. The one I was drawn to would be the exact stone I would need. I looked but felt nothing. The female took a lovely green stone down - jade I think - and read me it's properties out of a book. It was nice but not right. The male chose another green stone which was also quite lovely but not what I was looking for. Then a stone began to glow - I shit you not - it actually glowed to me. I pointed and asked what that stone meant and after a quick flip through the book learned that amongst many other things, it helped you deal with difficult people and situations. It was to be my rock. Ironically my chosen rock was also green. I wonder if the two helping me knew I was going to be needing a green rock or if it was mere coincidence. I wish I had thought to ask. A silver chain, a fairy book for the girl, and $50 later we were out the door.
Is it going to work? Yes, sure it will. If I believe it to it will become what I need. I do already feel much better about the whole thing. I came home and cleansed the rock - and by cleansing I mean I washed it in water. I held it and thought about what I want it to do for me. I sent waves of gratitude from my ming into the rock. Then I went in the hot tub.
Hopefully this rock will do me some good. An interesting side note here: After returning home, I looked up the stone and learned some more information about it's properties. One mentioned was the fact that it has been known to help with physic abilities and communication with those who have passed on. Wouldn't that really throw a crazy twist into this experiment if I ended up being able to talk to dead people? We won't dwell on that however - let's move on to my act for the day.
A quick note before I start though - I have been thinking of what to call my experiment. All over the internet there is information about random acts of kindness and paying it forward, etc. That is not exactly what I am wanting to do here. It is swell and all but I am not doing anything exactly randomly. Every recipient is pre selected or at least the idea of them is. Every act has been planned out. As great as it is, there is no spontaneity here. Maybe that can be implemented in the future. As of this moment however, I have decide to call my acts Premeditated Acts of Kindness. P.A.K. if you will. I like this because the main change I want to implant into my life is the shifting of my focus. From negative to positive. From myself to others. Random indicates that little thought is put into the actual act. Planning ahead suggests the idea that you were thinking of that person for an amount of time and the joy you might bring them. Random is great and I hope to do that too, but I want to be much more involved than that and maybe a year from now I will feel a bit more evolved.
Today's act was a lovely full head of highlights on my very sweet neighbor, Leah. She lives a few doors down, has three very small children and loves to bake. I also think she is very alone. Leah asked a few days ago if she and the girls could come over to decorate some Christmas cookies with my kiddos. That is one tradition that we do not normally do at our house due to not eating sugar and baking gluten free stuff that is sugar free and has no chemicals in it sucks. Leah however has a Celiac sister and was up for the challenge. I asked her to come on over a bit earlier than planned so I could do her hair and she was thrilled. The afternoon was a circus. Little girls everywhere. Marnie, at seven, was the oldest by more than two years and Ethan was odd man out. There were fights and bruises were made from many a fall. But there was more fun than furry for sure. There was one questionable moment in which one of the children emptied out four bottles of liquid food coloring onto my dining room table and her clothing and the proceeded to sit on my red leather chaises - all whilst her mother was laying on my kitchen counter with her head in my sink. No permanent damage though and the child was allowed to live.
It was great though. I was able to spend a lot of time with Leah. I have been intending on having her over for a long time - since I met her, but have just not found the time. I think she needs a friend. And maybe so do I.
Stats:
Daily Points - 2 (on target)
Extra - 0
Bonus - 0
As I do in every situation - good or bad, I ran everything past my husband during our morning coffee pow wow. He knew how much I was dreading the afternoon and how I had been anxious over what to do and how to end it. Being the amazing sounding board that he is, he listened to me drone on and on and on about how bizarrely bad I felt when I left. I described how my mood changed as soon as I entered the home, how insanely tired I became half way through (my friend had to make me espresso because I suddenly could not keep my eyes open or formulate a sentence), and how worthless I felt when I left. A feeling which kept clinging to my mind throughout the night and into this morning. I relayed a feeling of all the energy being drained from me. Ding! Ding! The idea hit me that maybe that IS exactly what happened. Maybe it was not the mom at all per say, but the fact that I lost energy. I recalled the one previous time that I had visited my friend's house and the fact that intense sleepiness overcame me then as well. The mom was not there at the time but still I felt drained. Maybe it was in fact the house and not the mom. Maybe it was both. Who knows and really who cares? The fact of the matter is that I feel drained after being there. I did a quick google on energy drainers and found lots of useful information and also a lot of rubbish. Amongst the good, I found some articles regarding wearing crystals to protect your energy. I have never really bought into that kind of thing in the past, but am a firm believer in the fact that if you believe something to be true long enough it will become so in your mind. I have also been keen on acquiring a stone or some such artifact that I can relay my sense of gratitude upon. Troy and I have been studying the law of attraction and gratitude is an idea that I am fond of. A crystal seemed perfect and the dual purpose made the stone in mind even better.
Marnie and I had some Christmas shopping to do, so off we went with a small detour to the New Age shop in our town. I was a bit apprehensive about going in - let's just say I am not a frequent visitor. The staff could not have been more helpful though and they did not make me feel like a moron. They explained crystals and stones to me and the different properties or 'powers' some have. There was this large tree like structure that hung dozens of stone pendants from it. The colors were amazing and I am a total sucker for anything shiny. Both shop keepers told me to concentrate on the stones and one would appear to me. The one I was drawn to would be the exact stone I would need. I looked but felt nothing. The female took a lovely green stone down - jade I think - and read me it's properties out of a book. It was nice but not right. The male chose another green stone which was also quite lovely but not what I was looking for. Then a stone began to glow - I shit you not - it actually glowed to me. I pointed and asked what that stone meant and after a quick flip through the book learned that amongst many other things, it helped you deal with difficult people and situations. It was to be my rock. Ironically my chosen rock was also green. I wonder if the two helping me knew I was going to be needing a green rock or if it was mere coincidence. I wish I had thought to ask. A silver chain, a fairy book for the girl, and $50 later we were out the door.
Is it going to work? Yes, sure it will. If I believe it to it will become what I need. I do already feel much better about the whole thing. I came home and cleansed the rock - and by cleansing I mean I washed it in water. I held it and thought about what I want it to do for me. I sent waves of gratitude from my ming into the rock. Then I went in the hot tub.
Hopefully this rock will do me some good. An interesting side note here: After returning home, I looked up the stone and learned some more information about it's properties. One mentioned was the fact that it has been known to help with physic abilities and communication with those who have passed on. Wouldn't that really throw a crazy twist into this experiment if I ended up being able to talk to dead people? We won't dwell on that however - let's move on to my act for the day.
A quick note before I start though - I have been thinking of what to call my experiment. All over the internet there is information about random acts of kindness and paying it forward, etc. That is not exactly what I am wanting to do here. It is swell and all but I am not doing anything exactly randomly. Every recipient is pre selected or at least the idea of them is. Every act has been planned out. As great as it is, there is no spontaneity here. Maybe that can be implemented in the future. As of this moment however, I have decide to call my acts Premeditated Acts of Kindness. P.A.K. if you will. I like this because the main change I want to implant into my life is the shifting of my focus. From negative to positive. From myself to others. Random indicates that little thought is put into the actual act. Planning ahead suggests the idea that you were thinking of that person for an amount of time and the joy you might bring them. Random is great and I hope to do that too, but I want to be much more involved than that and maybe a year from now I will feel a bit more evolved.
Today's act was a lovely full head of highlights on my very sweet neighbor, Leah. She lives a few doors down, has three very small children and loves to bake. I also think she is very alone. Leah asked a few days ago if she and the girls could come over to decorate some Christmas cookies with my kiddos. That is one tradition that we do not normally do at our house due to not eating sugar and baking gluten free stuff that is sugar free and has no chemicals in it sucks. Leah however has a Celiac sister and was up for the challenge. I asked her to come on over a bit earlier than planned so I could do her hair and she was thrilled. The afternoon was a circus. Little girls everywhere. Marnie, at seven, was the oldest by more than two years and Ethan was odd man out. There were fights and bruises were made from many a fall. But there was more fun than furry for sure. There was one questionable moment in which one of the children emptied out four bottles of liquid food coloring onto my dining room table and her clothing and the proceeded to sit on my red leather chaises - all whilst her mother was laying on my kitchen counter with her head in my sink. No permanent damage though and the child was allowed to live.
It was great though. I was able to spend a lot of time with Leah. I have been intending on having her over for a long time - since I met her, but have just not found the time. I think she needs a friend. And maybe so do I.
Stats:
Daily Points - 2 (on target)
Extra - 0
Bonus - 0
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Can this be done?
Well, honestly I feel a bit deflated. I am glad I get 375 more chances to do this. This evening's act did not go as well as I hoped but I do suppose much of that was my fault. I have been feeling a bit ill about this encounter for a couple of days and had mere hours beforehand to try to turn it around in my head but was apparently unsuccessful. I need to give a bit of background here, but am very wary about doing so. I in no way wish to hurt anyone's feelings but part of this experiment is to see how events in my life over the next year unfold and how can comparisons be made if there is no 'before' to compare it to? I will try to be a bit vague and change names without leaving out any important details.
Let's start with the call from my friend about three or four months back. This was a call asking if I would mind coloring her mother's hair. No, I don't mind. Of course. This friend of mind is a keeper. A very generous girl whom I like very much. She ask'd how much I would charge - Oh nothing! I don't mind doing her hair for free... once that is. I did not know that once would end up being once every four weeks. I attempted to arrange a barter with the mom but it has never happened. I have continued to do her hair. Why? I do not know. I am not sure of my reasoning. Each time she calls to have me meet her once again I plan to nicely explain to her all the reasons I cannot do this. Each time I meet her, I need to leave my family. I also work from home, so every time I leave is time I am not spending doing what I need to be doing to earn my living. The mom does give me $20 but that is not even 1/5 of what I would charge at the salon.
This may seem like no big deal - here I am trying to do things for other people on a continuous basis. And I do see the irony here. However, this mom is not destitute nor unable to pay. She went to another girl from my salon prior to me - she merely wants to spend less and has told me so. I also do not feel that what I am doing is very much appreciated. In fact I feel quite the opposite. I leave each visit feeling badly and determined that I will not do it again. Then she calls four weeks later...
This was going to be the week. She called a couple days ago asking if I would come over. I agreed. I mulled over what to say about this being my last time and all... but.... she then told me how badly she was doing because her mother died last week. I just could not add to that. Nope. I caved and agreed to go. The next day the idea for this challenge came about. Who better to be my first act than her? I decided to also bring her a nice plant to cheer her up a bit.
I am not quite sure what I expected. It was not it though... I still felt badly when I left and definitely less happy than when I arrived. I cannot do that again. I am sure that not every deed is going to be appreciated, but I do not need to do it over and over.
I am absolutely done dwelling on this evening. I do not want to think about this anymore. It makes me feel bad.
Tomorrow is a new day and a new act. I am gifting highlights to my neighbor who could not afford them otherwise. This one I am very fond of and I am very excited to do this for her. I promise that not every act will involve hair, but the first two just happen to fall into that category.
Stats:
Daily Points - 1
Extra - 0
Bonus - 0
Let's start with the call from my friend about three or four months back. This was a call asking if I would mind coloring her mother's hair. No, I don't mind. Of course. This friend of mind is a keeper. A very generous girl whom I like very much. She ask'd how much I would charge - Oh nothing! I don't mind doing her hair for free... once that is. I did not know that once would end up being once every four weeks. I attempted to arrange a barter with the mom but it has never happened. I have continued to do her hair. Why? I do not know. I am not sure of my reasoning. Each time she calls to have me meet her once again I plan to nicely explain to her all the reasons I cannot do this. Each time I meet her, I need to leave my family. I also work from home, so every time I leave is time I am not spending doing what I need to be doing to earn my living. The mom does give me $20 but that is not even 1/5 of what I would charge at the salon.
This may seem like no big deal - here I am trying to do things for other people on a continuous basis. And I do see the irony here. However, this mom is not destitute nor unable to pay. She went to another girl from my salon prior to me - she merely wants to spend less and has told me so. I also do not feel that what I am doing is very much appreciated. In fact I feel quite the opposite. I leave each visit feeling badly and determined that I will not do it again. Then she calls four weeks later...
This was going to be the week. She called a couple days ago asking if I would come over. I agreed. I mulled over what to say about this being my last time and all... but.... she then told me how badly she was doing because her mother died last week. I just could not add to that. Nope. I caved and agreed to go. The next day the idea for this challenge came about. Who better to be my first act than her? I decided to also bring her a nice plant to cheer her up a bit.
I am not quite sure what I expected. It was not it though... I still felt badly when I left and definitely less happy than when I arrived. I cannot do that again. I am sure that not every deed is going to be appreciated, but I do not need to do it over and over.
I am absolutely done dwelling on this evening. I do not want to think about this anymore. It makes me feel bad.
Tomorrow is a new day and a new act. I am gifting highlights to my neighbor who could not afford them otherwise. This one I am very fond of and I am very excited to do this for her. I promise that not every act will involve hair, but the first two just happen to fall into that category.
Stats:
Daily Points - 1
Extra - 0
Bonus - 0
A new year is a comin'...
This year has been such a huge one for me. Best in my thirty years I would think. My life is a culmination of great blessings, outrageous joys and limitless jubilation. I want to share what I have. I want to do more than share. I want to connect with people and bring about some kindness in a local and very personal way. I have had the thought and I feel the motivation deep within and there is nothing to do but simply act... And act I will. This blog is being reborn. Right now and at this very minute. I am committing myself here and to you. I intend to share my love, good fortune, and abundant blessings in a big (to me at least way). I want to document my journey to keep myself accountable, track my progress and selfishly get creative inspirations from you fine folk out there that are kind enough to read my blog. I begin to day but first perhaps a bit of background on myself and then the rules I suppose... There may be some info on this blog about me from years ago when it first began, but I am not the same gal who discarded my happenings in the past, so some newer info may be helpful. I am Erin. I like to sign my name with a lowercase e however - not sure if that says anything about me or not. I am newly 30 and very in love with my husband of 8 years (Troy). We have two quirky and amazing children who inspire and teach me every day. Marnie is my girl and Ethan is my boy. They are seven and five respectively. I am an artist most of the time, a hair stylist part of the time, and a life lover all of the time. We live in beautiful northern Michigan and enjoy the summer months enormously. Our dream is to one day live in small abode in Hawaii during the winter whilst homeschooling our kids and return home to our quaint town in the warmer weather. I would love that to happen sooner rather than later, but am happily living here now. My husband is in the restaurant business and is in the starting stages of a new venture. We can talk about that some other time though. We have some animals - they're pretty neat too, but I will also save them for a later date. In an effort to stay on the path intended, I am going to move onto the rules... but first let me say that I reserve the right to amend these at any time if I deem fit. Okay, here we go:
I will preform an act of kindness at least once a day for the next 376 days. That will take us to the 1st of January 2013. I do not want to wait until the New Year.
I will preform an additional 24 acts of kindness throughout the year to bring my goal up to 400. I can go over but there is no banking of points. One act must be done, regardless of how small, each and every day.
I will encourage and attempt to inspire my husband and children to follow my lead and keep track of their happenings with *bonus* points. Their acts are simply that - bonus. They will not count towards my own goals.
There is no prize at the end. I truly am doing this just to share and in my deepest of hopes - maybe inspire.
I will record my doings here. I am shooting for daily but blogging is not the most important part of this challenge. I will be completely honest with you - even if I am doing poorly. I pray for myself that it will not be the case however. I am also going to write a lot about my daily life and what is going on in it. Part of this experiment is seeing how this project changes my family and specifically myself. At this exact moment I do not have a sad story. My life is pretty great and happy. What can happen in a year? I am curious too.
In regards to being completely honest in my posts - I may need to change some names. I do not want to embarrass anyone and I do indeed plan on smothering people I know in kindness as well. You are just going to have to be okay with that. I am also going to try to keep my activities local. I love big charities and think they do a lot of good, but I want to see what I can do here in my hometown. I also want everyone to benefit not solely the destitute. We try to buy locally as much as possible so why not also give locally as much as possible?
I am sure I am going to have more to add but for now that shall do. I am off to do my first act and will be back later this evening with the tale.
I will preform an act of kindness at least once a day for the next 376 days. That will take us to the 1st of January 2013. I do not want to wait until the New Year.
I will preform an additional 24 acts of kindness throughout the year to bring my goal up to 400. I can go over but there is no banking of points. One act must be done, regardless of how small, each and every day.
I will encourage and attempt to inspire my husband and children to follow my lead and keep track of their happenings with *bonus* points. Their acts are simply that - bonus. They will not count towards my own goals.
There is no prize at the end. I truly am doing this just to share and in my deepest of hopes - maybe inspire.
I will record my doings here. I am shooting for daily but blogging is not the most important part of this challenge. I will be completely honest with you - even if I am doing poorly. I pray for myself that it will not be the case however. I am also going to write a lot about my daily life and what is going on in it. Part of this experiment is seeing how this project changes my family and specifically myself. At this exact moment I do not have a sad story. My life is pretty great and happy. What can happen in a year? I am curious too.
In regards to being completely honest in my posts - I may need to change some names. I do not want to embarrass anyone and I do indeed plan on smothering people I know in kindness as well. You are just going to have to be okay with that. I am also going to try to keep my activities local. I love big charities and think they do a lot of good, but I want to see what I can do here in my hometown. I also want everyone to benefit not solely the destitute. We try to buy locally as much as possible so why not also give locally as much as possible?
I am sure I am going to have more to add but for now that shall do. I am off to do my first act and will be back later this evening with the tale.
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